The Mirror of my Twin

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Duality

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The Mirror of my Twin
« on: August 03, 2015, 04:15:25 PM »
Yesterday a friend from an organization we both belong to, whom I have not seen or visited with in person, came to visit (we've stayed in touch through FB).  It's the first time she's been to the house or any other friend of mine, for that matter, in the three years since my Bipolar unBPD twin and niece moved in.  She was aware of my stressed-out state of mind and the  "explosion" of disruption that had occurred "behind closed doors" due to my withdrawal from participation when they moved in, but knew no details.

Her presence made me realize just how secluded I've become; I went N/C with the outside world.  Trust is difficult for me, to say the least.

Too,  twice she made the following comment "Duality, you've changed (ie.,in a good way).  I can hear it in your voice and see it."  She was being both supportive and gently curious.  Without going into great detail I described life as it has been since their arrival and told her "I've learned a lot about Mental Illness and living with someone who is."  As I've mentioned in previous posts, MC miraculously worked . . . but . . . it worked on me, *s*, even more. Hhhhmmmmmmm?!?  It calmed me down enough to really consider JADE and Fleas, as well.  I truly believe this is what my friend observed within me.  "I've learned a lot about Mental Illness and living with someone who is" was my response to my friend, but with all of you, I want to include the following:  "I'm learning a lot about myself."

Remembering not to JADE goes "hand-in-hand" with MC.  These two things have given me "space" to allow seeing myself within the Mirror of my Twin and the Fleas I've acquired.  So, for the moment, (I've yet to walk out to the front part of the house other than to refill my coffee mug, so I haven't encountered any irritations, Lol!!!)  I am encouraged by my progress and prepared for ridding myself of my habitual emotional addiction to my Fleas.

Thanks for "listening".


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GarbageChild

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Re: The Mirror of my Twin
« Reply #1 on: August 07, 2015, 09:20:05 PM »
Thanks for sharing your journey, and letting us know you are feeling better!

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Duality

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Re: The Mirror of my Twin
« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2015, 06:25:03 PM »
Thanks, :), Garbage Child (Your name tweeks my imagination)