are PDs predominately introverts or extroverts?

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BetterFuture

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are PDs predominately introverts or extroverts?
« on: August 07, 2015, 06:43:06 AM »
Hi wonderful community

Just been thinking about the different personalities we all have: I've reflected on myself and come to realise that I am far more introverted than I previously thought.

I am the scapegoat of my FOO and as an introvert I happily spend more time in my own head and thoughts than an extrovert would. Does that make me more sensitive/enlightened and consequently the SG.

Are PDs more extroverts as they need peoples energy to energise themselves and less time by themselves reflecting?

But then I look at my UPD mother and think....you're a introvert - she's very bad in social situations and around any people. I think she has a high degree of anti-social behaviour.

So I don't have an answer to this, but I was wondering if anyone else has thought about it...

Better Future
« Last Edit: August 07, 2015, 06:45:46 AM by BetterFuture »
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one. You cannot make any useful contribution in life unless you do this. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Inurdreams

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Re: are PDs predominately introverts or extroverts?
« Reply #1 on: August 07, 2015, 01:59:36 PM »
Good question.

I'm not sure PDs are more inclined to be extroverted than normal people.

My MIL and BIL seem to be PDs and are both overly extroverted in an annoying Political Candidate kind of way.

But GMIL, who has a lot of N and PD tendencies was extremely introverted.  In all the 30 some odd years I knew her, I never knew or heard of her having one single friend.  She only associated with family members and never went anywhere unless it was with a family member.

Maybe the introverted PDs spend a lot of time in their heads plotting schemes of revenge and ways to be passive aggressive and things like that.  That's how GMIL was.  Her family always saw her as a frail little snowflake that wouldn't harm a fly but she could be extremely vindictive and a passive-aggressive when she was crossed by anyone not blood related to her.   I know this well as I've been a victim of this.

Maybe this is what they mean when they say to watch out for the quiet ones.  I find introverted PDs much more dangerous than the extroverted ones.  The extroverted ones you can see and hear coming.  The introverted ones are sneaky, sort of like the plague.  It takes a few days to realize you've been infected.
Peek not through the keyhole lest ye be vexed. - Stephen King


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GarbageChild

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Re: are PDs predominately introverts or extroverts?
« Reply #2 on: August 07, 2015, 09:17:20 PM »
I had to laugh at the override / top comparison; my Nmother is like that as well, shouting out outrageous comments to make sure attention is always focused on her.

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katherinicus

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Re: are PDs predominately introverts or extroverts?
« Reply #3 on: August 18, 2015, 09:51:19 AM »
I would have to respectfully disagree with the "watch out for the quiet ones" comment, as this was what lead, I feel, to some of my scapegoating. I've seen it even here on the board over and over that more extroverted PDs assign introverts with sinister motives that don't exist.

I do get the heart of what you were saying. That covert behavior can fly under the radar more than overt, brash behaviour. But the damage caused by an extroverted PD is extreme because they have this way about them where everyone assumes what they're seeing is what they get. My SIL can be incredibly charming, likeable, and animated while I'm more reserved at first (but I maintain longer, deeper relationships) and I feel this worked to her advantage when she started to smear me to the rest of the family, and would likely by the case in public. I'm fortunate that some of the people she's tried it with know me to be a good person, so they didn't fall for it, but I know some would, as I fell for a lot of her victim stories at first, as well.

Extroverts can be just as passive aggresssive, it has to do with what they want others to see. They may exude the false self and save the nasty side for behind closed doors or through more subtle means. My SIL is an extrovert and she was very covert in her methods at times because it wouldn't fit with the idealized image she tries to portray.


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Rafiki

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Re: are PDs predominately introverts or extroverts?
« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2015, 07:00:29 AM »
I was just thinking about this the other day.  I am an extreme introvert and I had always thought of my PD as an extreme extrovert (loves to be the center of attention, etc), but then she just posted something about how people don't understand "introverts like me".  I really don't see her as an introvert, but maybe I'm wrong. 

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BroughtMyUmbrella

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Re: are PDs predominately introverts or extroverts?
« Reply #5 on: August 19, 2015, 05:54:27 PM »
IME, you'll find both introverted and extroverted PDs but most are probably a mix. They must spend a lot of time inside their own skulls to come up with the delusions they harbor... but then there's that constant need for attention. But it seems as if their victims are all introverts. They've been isolated from anything resembling a support network and have learned that if there is ever going to be anything they can rely on, they're going to have to supply it themselves.

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Scout

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Re: are PDs predominately introverts or extroverts?
« Reply #6 on: August 19, 2015, 06:22:40 PM »
I think it's a mix.  My uBPDex was more of an introvert. 

I don't agree that the partners of PDs are all introverted (I vacillate between the two states) . . . but I do think that being around a PD can indeed squash your light, and make one less outgoing.

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eyeofthestorm

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Re: are PDs predominately introverts or extroverts?
« Reply #7 on: August 24, 2015, 10:35:34 AM »
Might be hard to generalize but I bet it's likely that they feel an inner imbalance between intro- and extroverted.  Wondering which works better for them?  Wishing they had more of one than they other -- as in craving narcissistic attention but wishing their shortcomings would be less overt? So it might cycle back and forth. Rapidly.
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