HELP! How Should I Approach My Sister's Request?

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California

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HELP! How Should I Approach My Sister's Request?
« on: August 23, 2015, 10:26:47 PM »
New here. Hope someone can help. I have a bipolar sister who has attempted suicide a few times. I have been estranged from her for some time. We live very far from each other. She recently relocated from her home town to live with her boyfriend in what was an unfamiliar place for her. After 9 months she has decided she wants to return to her home town. I found this out through a text she sent me about an hour ago asking for a specific amount of money to relocate (she "does not have any savings"). She had not contacted me in over 2 years. I told her I did not have that type of money and I texted her the link to a woman's resource center in her area. She did not inform me if the decision was sudden or what was going on. She just informed me that she needed the money and that she was depressed and wanted to go back home. I did not ask her for specifics because in the past she did not want me in her business. After I texted that I didn't have the money she texted back that she "had had a bit of hope" and that she was going to lie down because she was tired. This worried me  because her suicide attempts have been prescription medication overdoses. I texted back and told her not to do anything crazy and if she needed medical help to please go to the ER of her closest hospital. I thought about contacting the police in that area for a wellness visit (?) but I do not have her address. Not sure I took the right approach. Can anyone guide me in the right direction?

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arianna

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Re: HELP! How Should I Approach My Sister's Request?
« Reply #1 on: August 23, 2015, 10:50:38 PM »
This doesn't sound like an emergency.  She doesn't need to move that badly. 

 Although I suspect the suicide gestures are manipulation, I wouldn't take the risk of assuming that.  The emergency is getting mental health interventions not moving to a new town.

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farfromthetree

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Re: HELP! How Should I Approach My Sister's Request?
« Reply #2 on: August 23, 2015, 11:29:26 PM »
California, you did a great job! You did not get hoovered. Of course you're concerned for her, but all you can do is what you already did. And you stayed out of it, for the sake of your own emotional and mental health.

And I agree with Arianna. She might have just been on a fishing expedition to see what she might catch.

 :like:

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California

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Re: HELP! How Should I Approach My Sister's Request?
« Reply #3 on: August 24, 2015, 12:51:50 AM »
Thank you both. I needed to hear that. Just needed some affirmation. It took me many years to get where I am and learn to keep the distance. The physical distance and emotional distance has been helpful. Trying to have a sense of normalcy was exhausting and going nowhere, but getting old-er has had its perks, aka W-I-S-D-O-M. I worry about her. All I can offer at this point is prayers.
Thank you again.

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Bloomie

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Re: HELP! How Should I Approach My Sister's Request?
« Reply #4 on: August 25, 2015, 05:23:33 PM »
Hi California - I see you are new here. Welcome. What a wise and loving response you made under pressure with your sister's request for money and vague words that can be interpreted many ways. You clearly have done much hard work to be able to do what you can safely do and no more. Very impressive.

I hope you have had a chance to look around and settle in here. I look forward to hearing more of your experiences and ways you have been able to come to healthy resolution in your relationship with your sister. Again, welcome!
"You can understand and have compassion for someone and still not want a relationship with them."
Amanda E. White, LPC @therapyforwomen

Bloomie 🌸

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California

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Re: HELP! How Should I Approach My Sister's Request?
« Reply #5 on: September 01, 2015, 01:28:44 AM »
Thank you, Bloomie, for the warm welcome. I have been reading posts for a while on this forum and learning a great deal about healthy responses to unhealthy requests. Alot of brave people here. Been dealing with my sister and mom for years. Initially difficult, but slowly becoming more assertive and making choices that are in MY best interest. Allowing myself to be selfish, if you will. And yes, coming Out of the FOG. It feels great!