Old age and the will

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Freedove

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Old age and the will
« on: August 24, 2015, 08:01:31 PM »
How did your narc become/behaved as they got older? mine is 89 years old and shes going worst with anger, rage and abuse. shes changing her will all the time and is running a riot, shes made me so ill, i am no contact again she wont stop being a nasty piece of work with me. Have you got a story to share?

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AnneH

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Re: Old age and the will
« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2015, 06:49:49 AM »
My parents were VERY well off. There are three children: myself, enbro and uHP/NPDsis (I've been NC with sis for 4 years). In their 60s, when Nmom was ill (she lived another 10 years), they decided to leave everything to enbro, tying up the money  in a trust so that, as uNmom put it, "if you were in financial trouble, enbro couldn't help you even if he wanted to". Enbro will receive the trust money in installments for the rest of his life, after which the remaining money will be given to a charity fund in their name.

To be fair, while uHPD sis and I have married, had children and moved away, enbro (40s) is single and still lives in our hometown (in a nice house our parents bought for him in cash) and had lived with our parents well into his 30s. At the time the will was written, and for the next 10 years, he had a very well-paying, qualified job which he chose to quit because he decided he didn't like his chosen profession anymore...another story. In short, a lot of enabling going on.

I should add that I am the only one to live overseas (6000 miles away). While I was visiting, uNmom told me the content of their will and announced, along with enDad, that I WAS the executor. Not asking me, TELLING me. I said NO right then and there (while they have the right to will their money however they want, I could just imagine devoting all of my vacation time and savings for several years traveling to the US to sell their house and belongings, meet with the lawyer and of course uHPD/NPD sis, etc.) Now that triggered a scene! It did serve as an excuse for uNmom to pull out her favorite refrain, which she used for the remainder of my visit: "when I asked you, you just completely shut down..." (that was her go-to rhetoric anytime I refused to answer a personal question, particularly her favorite one: "so have you thought any more about having children? You know you aren't getting any younger...")

However, they DID replace me with uHPD/NPD sis as executor (she lives in a neighboring state). At this point, along with other things that have happened with enDad, and even though money is somewhat tight in my FOC, I wouldn't even take their money if it meant one single meeting with any of them.

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Freedove

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Re: Old age and the will
« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2015, 08:14:19 PM »
Sorry to hear that Anne, it all seems so unfair. My gc brother was made power of attorney about 10 years ago and the will is in three names me my sister [lost child b/p ] and my golden child brother. My mother is 89 years old and i am no contact again she keeps saying  shes changing the will and playing mind games so i decided to go no contact after more enlightment on how i was abused mentally and emotionally. The will could be changed at any point and i am prepared my mental health, sanity  and freedom are so important then her money. why did we get these crazy people in our lives? u would think our siblings would care but they dont x