"this is your adventure now"

  • 2 Replies
  • 744 Views
*

arianna

  • Guest
"this is your adventure now"
« on: November 07, 2015, 09:44:05 PM »
Someone said this to me when I was talking about my parents. Her point was "they have their life and their journey but yours is separate and not dependent on theirs ".

It helped a lot to hear it and I just remembered it.  What my parents do is their business and their problem.  Like someone said on another post, my mom can be a big girl and take care of herself.  If she has struggles they are hers. 

Of course everyone's journey includes separation from parents but it also includes a whole lot more that has nothing to do with that drama.

*

Clementia

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • 49
Re: "this is your adventure now"
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2015, 09:46:15 PM »
This is such a new thought for me, too. It didn't occur to me until NC that I have a life and my N parents have their own lives. My life belongs to me and their life belongs to them. I know it sounds like common sense, but that is not how we were raised. Our life belongs to them. We are not even people, we have no separateness, we are not raised to be separate individuals. Coming Out of the FOG has made me realize that it is ok to have my own life, be my own person and be responsible for me, and only me.

My best friend is a real character and has suffered similar issues with her NM. Recently when I was telling her about my struggles going NC (this was before I had really come to terms with it) and the various recent hoover attempts, she just shouted in an exasperated way, "When is your mom going to get lost and get a life?! YOU ARE A GROWN *SS WOMAN!!!" This really made me laugh. Arianna, don't ever forget you are a grown *ass woman!!!  :dance:

*

arianna

  • Guest
Re: "this is your adventure now"
« Reply #2 on: November 08, 2015, 10:16:00 PM »
Haha yes. And so is she -- so i am sure she'll be fine without me.