Thoughts about being “Too Sensitive” – The Eggshell Plaintiff

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practical

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In my FOO, I was considered the strong one and the too sensitive one at various times depending on whether I fit into the family dynamic or not.

I was too sensitive if I fought back against uNPDm or tried to protect myself, basically anything where I endangered the dysfunctional family dynamic. I was not tough enough, not forgiving enough, not compassionate enough and too sensitive if I “rebelled” against the abuse. At the same time I had to be extra nice to uNPDm because she was sensitive. In her case that was okay and required the whole family to walk around on eggshells. In my case being sensitive was not okay – to the contrary was too sensitive.

What does the “too” mean? For me it means I was not allowed to be emotional or to be more exact: have emotions that they experienced as negative, threatening towards them, questioning their authority and their right to abuse me (I’m including enF here as he was part of the dynamic, the dysfunction, besides being an abuser in his own right). They could not deal with these emotions so they deflected them back on me by blaming me, calling me “too sensitive”, which was a form of name-calling.  You are being shamed for who you are in their eyes.

I was allowed and encouraged to be cheerful, this was an emotion that was permissible. Expressing positive emotions towards them was okay, then I was just a sensitive girl with a deep understanding and no longer “too” sensitive.

In my native language there is a word that I can best translate as “beating somebody to death-argument”, the closest in English is “conversation killer”. It is an argument that kills the discussion, from which there is no comeback, whose whole purpose it is to shut you up. Saying you are too sensitive is one of these arguments. It kills the discussion and it ultimately might kill part of who you are.

I don’t think there is such a thing as being “too sensitive”, those words are always about the person who says them. It reflects how they cannot deal with the emotions they caused in you and are now being expressed towards them. They feel threatened by your emotions, and instead of analyzing what they did that caused your emotions, how they can make it right and ultimately apologizing to you, they turn against you even more. You are hurt double: by the original thing that caused your emotions as well as by being told it is your fault, something is wrong with you.

Each of us has different things we are sensitive to/about depending on how we were raised and much more. Our degree of sensitivity will vary in our own life depending on what stage of life we are in, how we are feeling, sometimes from day to day. Empathetic people will see this and adjust how they treat you at a given moment or what they expect of you. PDs don’t do this.

If I would apply the words “too sensitive” to me at all, it is in the areas of abuse I have not fully processed yet. I still get anxious and panicked if DH curses because he stubbed his toe. I’m so deeply conditioned for any sign of rage to spell trouble. I still go on auto-pilot if anything goes wrong, even if it is the refrigerator breaking, and try to fix-it, make it go away with a big smile and a laugh, having been conditioned to maintain the fragile state of the dysfunctional family at all cost. But this is not at all what my PD parents meant when calling me “too sensitive”.

In law there is a legal term “The Eggshell Plaintiff”. The basic concept is, that if somebody hits you in the head, and you sustain more damage than normally would have been anticipated by the force used by the perpetrator as you are “thin shelled”, she is fully responsible for the damage she caused. She has to take you as she finds you -- thin shelled (“too sensitive”). So, if this is a matter of law, why should PDs get a pass by saying you are “too sensitive” instead of having to adapt to who their children are? Why should they not be expected to learn to deal with emotions rather than you toughening up?  Why should they be allowed to shift the blame on you the victim instead of being held accountable for their actions, their abuse?

The inability of PDs to deal with emotions does not make anybody “too sensitive”, those words are purely a reflection on the PDs or whoever else speaks them.

I’m trying to retrieve some of the emotions that were regarded as an expression of being “too sensitive”: getting angry, being upset, crying. I regard being sensitive as a sign I’m able to feel, to have emotions, I have not become numb due to the abuse. I can be passionate, loving, empathetic and these are true gifts to me. I also think that everybody who is on the journey or has come ootf has to have an enormous inner strength, as it is certainly one of the hardest things I have ever done. This inner strength is exactly the opposite of what so many of us were called with the words “too sensitive”.
“If I’m not towards myself, who is towards myself? And when I’m only towards myself, what am I? And if not now, when?” (Rabbi Hillel)

"I can forgive, but I cannot afford to forget." (Moglow)

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Spring Butterfly

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Re: Thoughts about being “Too Sensitive” – The Eggshell Plaintiff
« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2015, 11:46:36 PM »
Quote
why should PDs get a pass by saying you are “too sensitive” instead of having to adapt to who their children are?
What a great post! I, too, was often accused of being too sensitive. This part of your post stood out most to me. What parent if their child is hurt by what they are saying or doing would turn the hurt and pain the child is feeling in on the child further? What person would not say to another person 'I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you' rather than blame the victim? As if the adult is allowed to trample all over the child and the child is supposed to be ok. Wouldn't a parent normally scoop the hurting child into its arms and soothe the hurting child? Crazy, just crazy stuff.
· Every interaction w/ PD persons results in damage-plan accordingly, make time to heal
· Individuation is one key to emotional freedom
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coweringRecluse

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Re: Thoughts about being “Too Sensitive” – The Eggshell Plaintiff
« Reply #2 on: November 15, 2015, 05:27:33 PM »
Excellent post, Practical!  Thanks for sharing.

Does anyone know if “Too Sensitive” is even a real concept in psychology?  To me it is only used by abusive people.  If someone accuses someone else of being too abusive I take that as an admission of guilt by the accuser.  Maybe I only see it that way because of my background.
The more you see of the Herr Kommandant the more you see there are no set rules you can live by, you cannot say to yourself, "If I follow these rules, I will be safe."

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No.

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Re: Thoughts about being “Too Sensitive” – The Eggshell Plaintiff
« Reply #3 on: November 15, 2015, 11:03:08 PM »
Excellent post! Of all of the challenging dark alleys of my relationship with my uNPDm, the use of this term is one of the most pervasive from birth to present. You explained this very well. It's only been in the last couple of years that I see my "sensitivity" as a good thing, and in fact have become numb in a lot of ways unfortunately. I think now I can see it for what it truly is. We are NC, but if we ever do communicate, not only will I not accept the phrase, but also won't accept the attitude. The underlying message that the same thing is communicated.. that I am "TOO" anything.. (usually positive things in most people's eyes). I think what you said is so true. And I might add, that they can't handle the feelings they caused in you because they can't handle the fact that they are abusers.

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all4peace

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Re: Thoughts about being “Too Sensitive” – The Eggshell Plaintiff
« Reply #4 on: November 16, 2015, 03:03:52 AM »
My children have things that bother them that would never bother me. Of course I adjust my behavior to their sensitivity! Because I have no right as another human to tell them how they should feel.

However, I do sometimes think I am too sensitive. After 20 years of being excluded from H's family for the most part, I DO feel I have gotten hypersensitive to their behavior, response time to messages, body language, tone of voice. I think I'm definitely way too sensitive to everything about them and one reason I've aimed for VLC is to toughen up a little bit again. AND I've picked up a flea of doing this with friends also. Ie: I messaged a friend recently, asking her how she's doing. I could see she'd seen the message but hadn't responded for days. I started worrying a little bit about possible negative relationship reasons she may have not responded. Finally, she responded asking if they could come for a visit! So while I was getting worried, she was probably waiting to respond until she knew for sure whether she could ask about visiting at the same time. And yet another good friend sent an email days ago that I haven't responded to yet. I know I'm waiting for a good and quiet time so I can concentrate on a thoughtful response, but my friend wouldn't know that...

So, like most things in life, I guess I see it both ways. I've tried to teach my kids to be gentle with other people's feelings and a bit tougher about their own. Not in the sense that their feelings aren't valid, but in the sense that I don't want them getting hurt easily and I want them to see that many times there are many ways of seeing a situation instead of just the most hurtful way.

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NotHelplessNow

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Re: Thoughts about being “Too Sensitive” – The Eggshell Plaintiff
« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2015, 06:32:05 PM »
Great post!  NM always said that I was "high strung" which was her variation on too sensitive.  For a double whammy, she'd say that I was just like my father (who she can't stand even though they're still married after 50 years.)

It's such a good point that healthy parents would try to accommodate their child's needs rather than the other way around! A few years ago, I asked my NM to stop calling so often.  I was very calm and told her that it stressed me out when she would call so much (3x a day or more sometimes) and asked her to just call once and I'd get back to her when I could.  She said it was my fault that I was "getting upset", not hers for obsessively calling me. Then she refused to talk to me any more and gave the phone to my father. Nothing is ever her fault.

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practical

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Re: Thoughts about being “Too Sensitive” – The Eggshell Plaintiff
« Reply #6 on: November 16, 2015, 07:08:52 PM »
However, I do sometimes think I am too sensitive. After 20 years of being excluded from H's family for the most part, I DO feel I have gotten hypersensitive to their behavior, response time to messages, body language, tone of voice. I think I'm definitely way too sensitive to everything about them and one reason I've aimed for VLC is to toughen up a little bit again.

I think you have been deeply wounded and for a long time. Going VLC sounds to me like trying to heal not and not like toughening up. Toughening up would be more like going numb for me. If you get abused again and again you start to anticipate it and flinch before you get hit again whether it be emotionally, verbally or physically. You are simply raw from all the "beatings" you have gotten, and the next hit will hurt more because it will hit a wound the abuser created, to then possibly call you "too sensitive" adding to your injuries. You are not "too sensitive", you are totally appropriately sensitive to you ILs abuse, and your sensitiveness is telling you to protect yourself by going VLC. Being sensitive is your Self's way of noticing danger.

AND I've picked up a flea of doing this with friends also. Ie: I messaged a friend recently, asking her how she's doing. I could see she'd seen the message but hadn't responded for days. I started worrying a little bit about possible negative relationship reasons she may have not responded. Finally, she responded asking if they could come for a visit! So while I was getting worried, she was probably waiting to respond until she knew for sure whether she could ask about visiting at the same time. And yet another good friend sent an email days ago that I haven't responded to yet. I know I'm waiting for a good and quiet time so I can concentrate on a thoughtful response, but my friend wouldn't know that...
I don't know whether I would call this a flea. I have the same kind of insecurities in this regard, and this is as what I see it as: a lack of self-esteem, security in my Self. My MO is to think I did something wrong, it viscerally reminds me of the many times of ST by uNPDm, and I start searching for reasons what could have caused the non-response, in short I start hyper-ananlyzing what I did "wrong" getting lost in the forest and not seeing the obvious reasons like in your friends case.

all4peace, you have been hurt so many times by so many different people, and these people were supposed to be family, meaning you have the natural assumption they will not hurt you, rather they will protect and love you. After having been told so many times in so many ways "you are not lovable", "not worth their attention", who can blame you for your brain automatically going this way?

I think this has to do with our backgrounds of growing up in abusive families, and I'm trying to reassure myself at such moments instead of immediately jumping to blaming myself. I'm trying to unlearn this behavioral pattern that was necessary for my survival in FOO.

So, like most things in life, I guess I see it both ways. I've tried to teach my kids to be gentle with other people's feelings and a bit tougher about their own. Not in the sense that their feelings aren't valid, but in the sense that I don't want them getting hurt easily and I want them to see that many times there are many ways of seeing a situation instead of just the most hurtful way.

Looking at things from different perspectives is definitely good and one characteristic distinguishing us from PDs, the ability to see and deal with grey shades, to reflect on things. Still, please be gentle to yourself, especially with the holiday season coming up. You are not "too" sensitive, you are just the right amount of sensitive for who you are.
“If I’m not towards myself, who is towards myself? And when I’m only towards myself, what am I? And if not now, when?” (Rabbi Hillel)

"I can forgive, but I cannot afford to forget." (Moglow)

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daughter

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Re: Thoughts about being “Too Sensitive” – The Eggshell Plaintiff
« Reply #7 on: November 16, 2015, 08:15:28 PM »
"I know what I know is what I know I know".  If it feels inappropriate to you, then it's inappropriate, regardless if someone tries to convince you that you're "too sensitive", or "strong enough to endure that (cruelty, teasing, mean-spirited criticism, etc)", or "it's okay, because we're family", etc.  The problem with having a pd-disordered parent is that the definition of "inappropriate" is different for that pd-disordered parent, ie, parent is entitled to:

1) expect all their demands and expectations to be fully met.
2) say and do whatever they want, whenever, wherever, however.
3) be angry if expectations aren't met, and/or alternate opinions are offered, or new boundaries are implemented.

The "rules" in a family governed by a pd-disordered parent are often counter-intuitive, and so it feels "wrong" to "feel wronged" by the pd-disordered parent, by the Flying Monkeys, by the Golden Children, by the enabler-parent, etc.  But no, you know how you feel, and if someone mistreats you, then you do need to acknowledge that feeling, rather than allow yourself to be gaslit (again) into believing that you're "just too sensitive" or "always being too difficult".  Likely you're not.  Likely that seemingly abusive behavior is in fact abusive.

 

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all4peace

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Re: Thoughts about being “Too Sensitive” – The Eggshell Plaintiff
« Reply #8 on: November 16, 2015, 08:57:04 PM »
Wow, practical, thank you for such a lovely and gentle response to my post! I do know that my childhood taught me to think everything was my fault.

Generally I'm not this way with my friends. I have and am a low-maintenance friend. But lately with everything going on with H's family I've been way more insecure. It's not a good feeling. I spent my childhood and early adult life with way too much insecurity and worked really hard to move beyond that.

Anyway, thank you for such kindness! And I really love your original post. I'm glad the world has so many sensitive people, including you!

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Sunshine days

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Re: Thoughts about being “Too Sensitive” – The Eggshell Plaintiff
« Reply #9 on: August 23, 2016, 02:12:05 PM »
Thank you for making this post it's helping me come to terms with my sensitivity and it's not a negative thing, it's who I am.

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daughterofbpd

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Re: Thoughts about being “Too Sensitive” – The Eggshell Plaintiff
« Reply #10 on: August 24, 2016, 09:15:38 PM »
Yes, a thousand times! Terrific post!
My mom can tell me that I am "too sensitive" and then, in the same breath, tell me that she is "very sensitive" or "has low self esteem." Why is it okay for her but not for me?

You can imagine the time and effort I've put into trying to word something so as not to offend her or hurt her feelings when I only want to bring to her attention that what she said was not very nice - or to request she not say things like that to me in the future. Her answer is that I am too sensitive and she spins the whole scenario into me picking on her. I literally said "That wasn't very nice" in a non-angry tone once when she made a rude comment about my weight, and she went into a tirade about how mean I am (I am too sensitive, I pick on everything she says, she just can't talk to me or give her opinion) .

Spring Butterfly & all4peace - Great points! My feeling was that I was putting myself out there by communicating something that hurt my feelings. If my mom was interested in working on our relationship, then she should appreciate the information (whether she meant to hurt my feelings or not) and perhaps she could change her wording or refrain from certain criticisms in the future. After all, I'm pretty positive that her weight would not be on the table for discussion! It's nice to have other people validate that thought - that a parent should adapt to their child's "sensitivity."

all4peace - I can be hypersensitive as well. I often obsess about how I've worded things to people. I think that comes from growing up with a PD. We had to be so careful about everything that we said and did and then sit back and try to gauge the response. Now I automatically worry that I've done something wrong, especially if I need to communicate anything that is even the slightest bit confrontational. Also goes with the idea that Practical pointed out that we were taught that everything is our fault.

The next time that my mom calls me "too sensitive," I'm going to be seriously tempted to bust out laughing and comment about her "classic PD response." lol.
“How starved you must have been that my heart became a meal for your ego”
~ Amanda Torroni

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Sunshine days

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Re: Thoughts about being “Too Sensitive” – The Eggshell Plaintiff
« Reply #11 on: August 25, 2016, 07:58:29 AM »
Yes, a thousand times! Terrific post!
My mom can tell me that I am "too sensitive" and then, in the same breath, tell me that she is "very sensitive" or "has low self esteem." Why is it okay for her but not for me?

You can imagine the time and effort I've put into trying to word something so as not to offend her or hurt her feelings when I only want to bring to her attention that what she said was not very nice - or to request she not say things like that to me in the future. Her answer is that I am too sensitive and she spins the whole scenario into me picking on her. I literally said "That wasn't very nice" in a non-angry tone once when she made a rude comment about my weight, and she went into a tirade about how mean I am (I am too sensitive, I pick on everything she says, she just can't talk to me or give her opinion) .

Spring Butterfly & all4peace - Great points! My feeling was that I was putting myself out there by communicating something that hurt my feelings. If my mom was interested in working on our relationship, then she should appreciate the information (whether she meant to hurt my feelings or not) and perhaps she could change her wording or refrain from certain criticisms in the future. After all, I'm pretty positive that her weight would not be on the table for discussion! It's nice to have other people validate that thought - that a parent should adapt to their child's "sensitivity."

all4peace - I can be hypersensitive as well. I often obsess about how I've worded things to people. I think that comes from growing up with a PD. We had to be so careful about everything that we said and did and then sit back and try to gauge the response. Now I automatically worry that I've done something wrong, especially if I need to communicate anything that is even the slightest bit confrontational. Also goes with the idea that Practical pointed out that we were taught that everything is our fault.

The next time that my mom calls me "too sensitive," I'm going to be seriously tempted to bust out laughing and comment about her "classic PD response." lol.
Ditto to every thing you have said, wow! It's my life to and how they create a open emotional  wound inside of us. I am finding i am growing out of that wound now and I am not as sensitive as she made out it was her that was sensitive and wounded and used me to dump them feelings on ( projection) . Yes double standards they admit they are to sensitive and then blame you for who they are as a cover up for their fragile broken ego.

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Claire_A

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Re: Thoughts about being “Too Sensitive” – The Eggshell Plaintiff
« Reply #12 on: January 29, 2018, 01:15:11 PM »
Thank you so much for this. You said it perfectly and completely. 

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Dukkha

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Re: Thoughts about being “Too Sensitive” – The Eggshell Plaintiff
« Reply #13 on: January 29, 2018, 01:29:26 PM »
The original post is absolutely fantastic.  I recognized all of it in my experiences for sure, and it was written beautifully.

I can still hear my PDf snarling “don’t be so damn sensitive....got to your room until you can choose to be pleasant”
Usually it happened if I showed any reaction other than a smile to something cruel he was doing to me.
Classic gaslighting and so so damaging.

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all4peace

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Re: Thoughts about being “Too Sensitive” – The Eggshell Plaintiff
« Reply #14 on: January 29, 2018, 01:35:54 PM »
It's eye-opening to see my response from 2+ years ago and see my growth since then.

Now when I hear someone described as being too sensitive, I hear "I want to behave how I want without you making me see that I'm being harmful."

In my FOO, we were allowed to show fear or joy. As I neared NC with my parents, there was ZERO acknowledgement of my wishes or feelings. All that was spoken about was what they wanted, how they saw things. I imagine this is the climate in which anyone who actually HAS or EXPRESSES feelings becomes "too sensitive." I don't actually remember being called this, but I remember often being laughed at when I expressed my opinion of our family dynamics, their marriage or their parenting (as a child).

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kazzak

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Re: Thoughts about being “Too Sensitive” – The Eggshell Plaintiff
« Reply #15 on: January 29, 2018, 01:37:20 PM »
Now when I hear someone described as being too sensitive, I hear "I want to behave how I want without you making me see that I'm being harmful."

 :applause: :applause: :applause:

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all4peace

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Re: Thoughts about being “Too Sensitive” – The Eggshell Plaintiff
« Reply #16 on: January 29, 2018, 01:39:59 PM »
Thank you so much for this. You said it perfectly and completely.
Welcome, Claire_A! We hope you will introduce yourself in the Welcome section when you feel comfortable doing so! You've found an amazingly supportive forum for those coping with PD personalities in our lives, and we'd love to get to know you better!

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atticusfinch

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Re: Thoughts about being “Too Sensitive” – The Eggshell Plaintiff
« Reply #17 on: January 29, 2018, 05:23:07 PM »
The hypocrisy of the "too sensitive" thing is hard sometimes. (they can dish it out, but can't take it)

For some reason this reminded me of my PD ex husband. He didn't like anyone to seem too happy or cheerful or enthusiastic. All my photos from the years I lived with him have very pale, dim smiles (for lack of a better word). If I ever acted happy he would pick a fight until I was upset (then he was happy). But on the flip side, he couldn't handle strong emotions that were negative, either. It is interesting that in a way it is all about keeping us in a box that they can more easily deal with. And especially the PDs in my life have been threatened by any emotion that isn't their own.

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zephyrblue

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Re: Thoughts about being “Too Sensitive” – The Eggshell Plaintiff
« Reply #18 on: January 29, 2018, 07:18:06 PM »
Great post, practical, and fascinating thread.  Thanks, everyone!

It's funny; I was never called "too sensitive," but enPD?mom told me I am "too scientific" because I'm agnostic.  She's Catholic.  She also told me that she feels she failed as a mother because I rejected Catholicism.  That ticked me off, but I pretty much shrugged.  There's no point in JADEing it.

On another occasion after uPDfather died and I was trying to forge a stronger bond with enPD?mom, I was talking with her on the phone about uPDfather's verbal and emotional abuse.  She said, "I remember when you were a teenager how you two would fight like cats and dogs.  That makes you as bad as he was."  I was literally stunned speechless.  When I could form words again I angrily rebutted, but it really didn't matter.  The damage was done.  This is one of the ways my mother ends conversations or shuts people up:  with a one-two punch right where it hurts.  I stopped trying to get closer to her after that.  I'm now NC.

For some reason this reminded me of my PD ex husband. He didn't like anyone to seem too happy or cheerful or enthusiastic.

uPDfather did this.  He was a grouchy, self-pitying bully, so I guess it made sense that he didn't like my sister's chipper, upbeat friend, who I'll call Christy.  Every now and then he'd mention Christy and criticize how she's always happy and how weird that is.  The implication was that there's something wrong with Christy for being cheerful.  He'd also never get Christy's name right; he'd call her Cathy or somesuch.  He did the name thing a lot for people or things that enPD?sis or I liked.  It was really annoying and invalidating.
« Last Edit: January 29, 2018, 07:22:03 PM by zephyrblue »

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PDinStereo

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Re: Thoughts about being “Too Sensitive” – The Eggshell Plaintiff
« Reply #19 on: February 01, 2018, 10:24:12 AM »
In law there is a legal term “The Eggshell Plaintiff”. The basic concept is, that if somebody hits you in the head, and you sustain more damage than normally would have been anticipated by the force used by the perpetrator as you are “thin shelled”, she is fully responsible for the damage she caused. She has to take you as she finds you -- thin shelled (“too sensitive”). So, if this is a matter of law, why should PDs get a pass by saying you are “too sensitive” instead of having to adapt to who their children are? Why should they not be expected to learn to deal with emotions rather than you toughening up?  Why should they be allowed to shift the blame on you the victim instead of being held accountable for their actions, their abuse?

Working with your legal analogy here, the idea is that the defendant takes the plaintiff as he finds her - with regard to assessing damages only. So if you touch someone in a way that does not constitute battery or some other tort, and it causes harm to the plaintiff because or her special condition, you're not responsible for that harm because your initial action itself was not actionable.

It's my experience that PDs don't think there's anything wrong with hitting someone in the head - as long as they do it, anyway. They're not really saying, "sure, I hit you in the head, that sucked and was wrong of me, but you're taking it way too far" - they're saying I'm going to hit you in the head if I want to because I am entitled to special rules that exempt me from that prohibition, and hearing about how it hurts you is unpleasant for me, so quit being so sensitive. In your real-life example of being triggered by sudden cursing, I think it's pretty common for people to be startled by sudden loud noises, particularly cursing, but being like you that way I understand what you mean - I'm FAR more affected by it than the typical person. Still, if I walk out on a busy street and yell "sh*t!" in most communities, people are gonna look, some might be visibly startled. I'd expect that. But if a PD did that, they'd think "WTF are those A-holes looking at? Who do they think they are?"   

I think it's less the extent of the reaction that they're objecting to than it is literally any negative-seeming-to-them reaction of any extent whatsoever. They should be able to do what they want without anyone else acting uncomfortable or being (to them) annoying about it. Some psychologist or other who writes in this area (George Simon?) said "they see, but they don't agree," meaning they know full well that it's generally considered wrong to hit people in the head in our culture, but they don't agree that they should be held to the same standards as other people.

On the triggered reaction thing, not much really ever helped me there despite past work I've done with PTSD and my own therapy for PTSD, but one thing I read recently that helped me is this new research suggesting that really the only cross-cultural emotions that we all share are pleasant/unpleasant and aroused/not aroused. Everything else are variations ascribed by our culture. I don't know if this will end up being generally accepted or not, but if I think of my exaggerated startle response as unpleasant/aroused, it takes some of the baggage off of it and gives me more freedom to decide what kind of unpleasant/aroused emotion I want to call it. On good days, I find I really can think of it as "annoyed" or "irritated" instead of "panicked" or "hopelessly terrified." The book on it is called How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain by Lisa Feldman Barrett, but there are a dozen shorter articles/interviews on her book on the web, and a podcast episode of Invisibilia on NPR on it too. I've heard good things about EFT (emotional freedom technique) from sources I trust as well, but have not looked into personally. Probably should - for me, the sound of running water has become a trigger as I've become aware of early childhood bath time abuse and my husband would probably appreciate it if I'd stop freaking out and yelling "OMG turn the water off" if we're having an argument while he's washing dishes or something. :) See, I don't even get Eggshell Plaintiff consideration for that one. Thank god people (non-PD ones anyway) have more empathy than the law!

I mean, at the end of the day, it's not like, you know, caring really puts people out like paying medical expenses and pain and suffering because they collided with someone on the sidewalk while texting who has a severe bone density disorder.