What did you do with your wedding dress?

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AngelInTheMarble

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What did you do with your wedding dress?
« on: February 27, 2016, 10:32:59 AM »
I found an apartment!  Moving day is in 3 weeks.  I am secretly packing and discarding items to get ready.  And I don't know what to do with the wedding dress.  Only really bad memories attached to it.  What did you do with yours?

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Liftedfog

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Re: What did you do with your wedding dress?
« Reply #1 on: February 27, 2016, 12:08:15 PM »
I used to say I would keep mine. I really loved it. And my mother paid a lot of money for it. I'm not ready to part with it right now.  Except when I am able to go back to my home and faced with packing and moving stuff, I can see me throwing it in the garbage as opposed to donating or selling it.  I feel weird knowing someone else will wear my dress.  Even the head piece I will keep. If I had daughters I would pass it along.  Not sure what I would do with it right now. This is still very raw for me.

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mdana

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Re: What did you do with your wedding dress?
« Reply #2 on: February 27, 2016, 11:46:39 PM »
I gave mine to the salvation army ...

M
Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. The Dalai Lama

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Ginger56

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Re: What did you do with your wedding dress?
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2016, 01:04:26 AM »
My yow cents.... I'm going through my second divorce. I tossed out my first wedding dress when I was 30. My youngest son found it in the waste bin and retrieved it. He was upset by my actions and asked me to keep it. This time around I'm 59 and my kids are grown up with their own kids. I tossed this one out too. It was easier to do as I learned long ago that it is all just "stuff" and at the end of the day quite unimportant. But I am more attached to my rings this time and can't even look at them because it's hurtful to me. My advice is to take your dress and to store it. Over time when your emotions are settled you will know what to do. If you toss it you may regret it at some point and it can't be undone. If you keep it awhile you can toss it at any point. Good luck to you! It's a question many of us have has to deal with. :)
Whether it's a parent, sibling, friend, spouse or family member, do not allow them to drag you down a hole for the rest of your life.

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irkmandu

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Re: What did you do with your wedding dress?
« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2016, 01:57:53 AM »
I've found myself in a situation where I might have to decide whether or not to keep my wife's dress... :stars:  Her PD (APD/BPD/PPD whatever it is...) has caused her to abandon most of her stuff, and I'm not sure if she'll ever want it back!  Now I have to decide whether to store it all, or throw it out.  It's a pretty dress, and I'm thinking of keeping it to hand down to one of my daughters if my soon-to-be exW never wakes up and decides she wants her stuff...  :doh:
“Rings and other jewels are not gifts, but apologies for gifts. The only gift is a portion of thyself.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

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BingoLake

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Re: What did you do with your wedding dress?
« Reply #5 on: February 28, 2016, 02:20:21 AM »
I'm keeping mine for awhile at least.  It really is a beautiful dress. I think of it like Pre PD times.  An innocent time full of hopes, and dreams.  It's greater than that, but I can't describe it any better.  It's weird how that wedding dress symbolizes  everything happy.  Yet everything after it a nightmare.


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AngelInTheMarble

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Re: What did you do with your wedding dress?
« Reply #6 on: February 28, 2016, 10:41:15 AM »
I only have bad memories of my wedding day.  As soon as the ring was on my finger, my PD started making sure I " knew my place".  I am leaning towards tossing it.  If we could only go back in time...

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Liftedfog

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Re: What did you do with your wedding dress?
« Reply #7 on: February 28, 2016, 12:24:24 PM »
Angelinthmarble, I cried all day on my wedding day... Tears of sadness.  I knew I should have not married him. I saw flags day one.  Ten years after, I was planning a wedding but I could not shake the fear and sadness inside.  In had seen him over the dating years cut himself off his own family for stupid reasons. I just knew only time before he would isolate me from mine. It was my biggest fear. I got a long well with my family and I could not imagine this happening.  Well, it happened after I married him.   But, I loved my dress. So beautiful.  20 years later and I still love it.  Will keep it until I am ready to let it go.  If he hasn't thrown it out already. He is in the family home getting him evicted.

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mdana

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Re: What did you do with your wedding dress?
« Reply #8 on: February 28, 2016, 01:03:40 PM »
Oh my Lifedfog!

I cried all day on my wedding day too ... it was terrible!  I had such a hard time that I ended up having some tequila (which I really can't stand and have never liked) in order to finally walk down ... the aisle.  Talk about red flags! 

I'm never doing that again ...!

Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. The Dalai Lama

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Mariposa

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Re: What did you do with your wedding dress?
« Reply #9 on: February 29, 2016, 11:05:12 PM »
Angelin the Marble,

I empathize with your comment about Day 1 you knew your place. My ex shoved the cake in my face and thought it was hilarious. I could cry just thinking about it. It was humiliating. My dress is in the basement, still can't decide what to do. there is oxidation down the front . it's ruined, but hard to throw away the memory I had before the wedding of living a happy married life.

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AngelInTheMarble

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Re: What did you do with your wedding dress?
« Reply #10 on: February 29, 2016, 11:25:04 PM »
You poor thing!  Someone spilled a little punch on the hood of H's car at the wedding.  He made me sit and wait an hour and a half before we could leave on our honeymoon while he washed his car.  He made sure I knew everything was more important than me.  Learned that lesson far too well over the years.

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Scout

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Re: What did you do with your wedding dress?
« Reply #11 on: March 01, 2016, 12:52:44 AM »
A friend of mine was dumped before her wedding (to make a long story short: it's just as well) and then paraded around on a vacation similar to Carnivale in the dress, just to enjoy it (there are pretty pictures) and then burnt it.  I admired her moxie.

I don't see anything wrong with holding on to the dress til you're *sure* of what you want to do (including donate it or give it to a relative).

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hhaw

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Re: What did you do with your wedding dress?
« Reply #12 on: March 01, 2016, 04:29:07 PM »
I always thought I'd burn mine, but then.... my youngest dd really loved it. 

I ended up lending it to someone who apparently thought it was a gift.  I haven't heard a thank you, or I'll get it back to you since.

I know she ended up wearing a different dress.... something rented if I recall correctly, which is the custom in that Country. 

Good riddance, I guess.

hhaw
hhaw



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HoldingStrong

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Re: What did you do with your wedding dress?
« Reply #13 on: March 01, 2016, 04:42:08 PM »
Left mine behind when I left two years ago. Left a LOT of things behind! Purposely left the wedding album behind too. At the time I wanted nothing that reminded me of him. I did take all the kids photo albums with me & gave them to the kids. The wedding rings? He stole them from me a couple weeks before I left & denied in RAGE that he took them! He screamed at me that IF he 'was lying' may he be 'struck by lightning'! I'm still waiting to hear he has been struck by lightning!!!

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mdana

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Re: What did you do with your wedding dress?
« Reply #14 on: March 01, 2016, 06:15:12 PM »
That's funny ...
I saw someone's tag line on this site that said something like:

"I'm always disappointed when a person's pants don't light on fire when they lie"....

Laughed for hours!
M
Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. The Dalai Lama

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Gone4Good

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Re: What did you do with your wedding dress?
« Reply #15 on: March 07, 2016, 12:03:25 AM »
I gave mine to Goodwill. Every time I saw it, I got disgusted. I was moving, and thought, do I want to bring this aggravation to my new place?

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Philomena

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Re: What did you do with your wedding dress?
« Reply #16 on: April 06, 2016, 03:26:57 PM »
Contact your hospital's neonatal ICU.  There are groups that make "angel dresses" from wedding/prom dresses which are used to dress the bodies of deceased babies/miscarriages for burial.  Newborn is the largest size, they also make extra preemie.

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Scout

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Re: What did you do with your wedding dress?
« Reply #17 on: April 07, 2016, 04:33:24 PM »
Contact your hospital's neonatal ICU.  There are groups that make "angel dresses" from wedding/prom dresses which are used to dress the bodies of deceased babies/miscarriages for burial.  Newborn is the largest size, they also make extra preemie.

I'd never heard of that! . . . How poignant.