Divorcing Cheating Lying BP

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AlienFox

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Divorcing Cheating Lying BP
« on: March 21, 2016, 08:06:33 PM »
I have posted in a few other places but really need to vent today.  I feel completely lost and powerless.  The mediator will not respond to me even though we have paid him to mediate and he insisted that he works for both of us.  My wife of 16 years told me 4 weeks ago that she was unhappy and wanted a divorce.  We tried to live together in the home that we made together but she started accusing me of stealing her things and when I said I was not stealing, she walked around the house with a heavy rubber mallet and smashed a jewelry box that I had given her.  She thend put locks on her bedroom and bathroom.  She said that I wasn't really gay and I couldn't take care of myself in this world without her but she was leaving.  She moved out of the house a week ago but refuses to get the house listed and wants me out of the house on weekends so she and her new girlfriend can come and fix up the parts of the house that she feels are her responsibility so it can be listed when she is ready.  I am stronger than this but truly feel that she has all of the power, she won't speak with me except to attack and accuse me of anything that comes to mind.  She has access to the funds to fix the house and will not give me access to the accounts that we both put money into so I am putting my living expenses into making the repairs.  I am tired of all of this crap and just want the divorce to be over with so I never have to see her again but she is dragging everything out.  It feels like she is doing all of this on purpose just to cause me pain.

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kiwihelen

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Re: Divorcing Cheating Lying BP
« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2016, 06:51:26 AM »
Lawyer up. This needs legal intervention.

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awakeningeagle

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Re: Divorcing Cheating Lying BP
« Reply #2 on: March 30, 2016, 08:38:08 PM »
I'm so sorry you're going through this. The process of separation (especially after being together so long) is bad enough, and then adding the craziness and legal crap just adds insult to injury. It's unfair of her to question your identity, and just abusive to say that you won't make it without her. It sounds like making it WITH her has proven to be quite difficult actually. Getting a lawyer is important if at all possible. Hang in there. 

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Spooky4261

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Re: Divorcing Cheating Lying BP
« Reply #3 on: May 14, 2016, 02:08:33 PM »
Your story sounds a little like mine.  Except in the 16 years together we had two daughters and I was home raising them while she pursued her career. She is the biological mother, she threw me out of the house and I agreed to do it because of the kids.  But then accused me of abandonment.  It is hard to go through something like this, however if I could go back to 4 years ago. I would have walked out on her but I would have taken my girls with me.  I don't think I would have had the heart to take the girls from her like she's done to me but I would have given her a little scared at least.
My advice is, get what you think you deserve and walk away.  It will be hard not to look back but with my experience I'll ask you this questions.  What will be the point?  When someone decides you (or we) are NOT GOOD enough what's the point in even giving them the pleasure of our hurt.
I wish you luck and I hope you find someone who will love you,  RESPECT you and be honest and will accept you with the good and bad but especially the bad.