Dreams

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lookinginwards

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Dreams
« on: March 26, 2016, 10:37:16 AM »
Does anyone else have horrible dreams about their narcs? I have had a fair few since I left 6 weeks ago but the most recent was last night. My narc had taken an older woman out on a date and I saw them and confronted him. He told me to 'get over it' and that she was a much better person than I was, so was it any wonder he wanted to date her. I woke up crippled from this in the middle of the night. Suicidal thoughts followed but I managed after a couple of hours to calm them down and get back to sleep.

I know that it is my sub conscious trying to sort through things in my head but how long will this carry on for? I feel drained all the time anyway, the dreams make it worse. I'm trying to actively face this stuff in my waking hours because I cannot bare the thought of this stuff creeping up on me down the long road when I think it's all behind me because I tried to suppress it now.

On a side note, all of my immediate family are staying this weekend for easter including my BPD sis in law and aspergers nephew. Usually I can deal with them no problem but I am super struggling this weekend, especially being assertive. I feel I am being manipulated by the pair of them at every turn. Families, eh?

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mdana

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Re: Dreams
« Reply #1 on: March 26, 2016, 02:58:39 PM »
I used to have horrible night mares about him....

My dreams weren't around him having other women (he did that all the time in real life anyway).  They were more abstract like: I used to dream of small clear tornado's ... lurking around me as I slept (the tornado's were him). The tornado's would hoover around my bedside as I slept, staring at me...watching me...moving closer, then further away from my head...laughing and mocking me.  Then, they would enter my head and I would wake up with a horrible headache. 

The problem with dreams like that is that you wake up and the whole day feels 'off'.  They will go away... 6 weeks is not too far out yet.  Do you have a therapist or support group?  It really helps to talk about it...process things...

Bummer about the family ... but, it is great that you recognize who they are and how it affects you (I think that's the first step).  Hoping the best for you ... things will get better! Maybe do some special, nurturing things for yourself throughout the weekend ... "mother' yourself through the hard times...

XOXOX
M
Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. The Dalai Lama

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Liftedfog

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Re: Dreams
« Reply #2 on: March 26, 2016, 05:51:37 PM »
I have constant nightmares he trying to Find me in the dark and I'm freaking out afrasid anbd hiding from him.  In reality I am afraid of him.

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FeliciaStoppedDancing

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Re: Dreams
« Reply #3 on: March 26, 2016, 08:28:46 PM »
My T suggested that upon waking from nightmares, I invent a resolution to it and picture that in my mind. My abusive stbx uPDh now gets swept off by huge birds of prey, swallowed by the earth, or vacuumed up, lol.

Evidently, during such nightmares, our minds are seeking closure, and since most pwPDs don't provide any, we can help our minds and spirits by inventing endings to such terrible dreams ourselves with good results.
You may write me down in history 
With your bitter, twisted lies, 
You may tread me in the very dirt 
But still, like dust, I'll rise. 
                                 - Maya Angelou

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mdana

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Re: Dreams
« Reply #4 on: March 26, 2016, 11:22:48 PM »
Felicia...

Great resolution!  Never thought of it ...
I thought the dreams were more like warnings... your psyche trying to tell you "this is bad...this person is harmful...protect yourself..."
Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. The Dalai Lama

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InTheDarkness

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Re: Dreams
« Reply #5 on: March 27, 2016, 12:05:17 AM »
For two years I've been experiencing non-restorative sleep accompanied by strange, surrealistic dreams, which make no sense, any way I analyze them.  Now, though, I'm having more dreams about my uBPDw and in them, she's always yelling at me to get out.   I have severe bipolar illness and now, my therapist, who has experience in PTSD, said that I have some symptoms consistent with C-PTSD from the years of trauma in the marriage.  I am acquainted with a reknowned  expert on bipolar illness and he recommended I ask my psychiatrist about a drug called Prazosin, an old blood pressure medication that has shown to be useful in treating combat PTSD.  I'm not recommending this to anyone; merely sharing what I've learned.  Most of the time, my mood is quite unstable from poor sleep and my irritability is high.  I have to make a great effort not to let it get out of hand.  For the past 9 years, I've lived on Klonopin, which is highly addictive.  I can 'junky' to my resume, lol.

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Kit99

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Re: Dreams
« Reply #6 on: March 27, 2016, 12:35:48 AM »
Yes yes yes... nightmares when I manage to sleep- tornadoes are a common theme for me but also dreams and nightmares that actually have s2bxH in them. I have a lot of insomnia too. I literally laid in bed awake all night last night trying to "shut off" my inner dialogue and the circular thinking/analysis of my pdH, our marriage and divorce. It's hard to never be able to "escape" the reality.

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Hoolio

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Re: Dreams
« Reply #7 on: March 27, 2016, 09:51:59 AM »
I told my counsellor about a dream I had about by uBPD-soon to be ex W

In the dream I built her an underground, one person, prison cell!

Representing my desire to "boundary" her (un controlled anger) behaviour.

 8-)



I am an ex husband of uBPD wife. Co parenting 2 children. Good luck to us all here!  Glad to be OOTF and rebuilding my life!

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Packy

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Re: Dreams
« Reply #8 on: March 27, 2016, 10:10:04 PM »
When I have a bad dream I wake up, realize it was a dream, then immediately try to recreate it while barely awake with a good ending (slaying the dragon or whatever). It takes awhile, but seems to work. Sometimes I have to get up, turn on all the lights, and remember where I am before I feel OK. Fortunately this doesn't happen very often.