Lying

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Orangeblossom77

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Lying
« on: March 29, 2016, 02:41:43 PM »
I did send a test to my dad telling him not to visit, but he says he didn't get it. I just checked my phone and it was definitely sent. I hadn't realised before but i think he might be lying to me. As it's easier than saying he got the message but didn't respond. Is this typical?

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betta fish

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Re: Lying
« Reply #1 on: March 29, 2016, 05:57:08 PM »
I am assuming your father has a PD or at least traits if you are here. My answer is yes lying is typical of a person with a PD if this is not a one time thing, but rather a pattern where he gets all his messages except the ones that don't suit him.

For example if your father wants to meet up for lunch during the week days, but you don't know which day you will be free.  Tell him you will either go to restaurant #1 or #2 and to call at 10am so you can confirm which restaurant.  Since he won't know where to go he will have to call you before the lunch date. 
“Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.”
― Maya Angelou

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redfish

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Re: Lying
« Reply #2 on: March 29, 2016, 06:11:31 PM »
Cellphones are definitely prone to glitches, but lying is pretty much standard with PD's. Their reality is different than someone with out a pd. In my experience they have a certain reasoning with what we would call a lie for it not to be considered a lie, by them. Basically has to do with their own feelings as to whether or not they consider it a lie. It only seems to count if you lie to them.
If Cinderella went back to pick up her shoe she never would've become a princess

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all4peace

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Re: Lying
« Reply #3 on: March 29, 2016, 06:26:27 PM »
Lots of legitimate things can look like a lie. My son claims to not get my texts and sometimes when I have doubted that he has proven it is the case. We missed a family engagement this week due to my family feeling under the weather, but if my kids are questioned by the ILs I'm sure they'll have totally forgotten feeling crummy and headachy on the day I made the excuse, I might look like a liar.

However, if there's a provable history here, or other stuff going on, then I would say that dishonesty and lying are trademarks of a PD individual.

In the future, you could ask your dad to verify receipt of messages from you. Yuck, though, as he could always pretend to have not received those he doesn't want to acknowledge :P And I'm assuming you don't want to have actually call him to pass on these messages.

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daughter

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Re: Lying
« Reply #4 on: March 29, 2016, 09:35:56 PM »
My NBM is a facile liar.

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Rhode

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Re: Lying
« Reply #5 on: March 30, 2016, 02:16:21 AM »
It could be either way.  Has this happened more than once?

Did he stay away after you sent the text?
Still coming Out of the FOG...

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kanga40

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Re: Lying
« Reply #6 on: March 30, 2016, 02:35:27 AM »
In situations where I question things I've learned to:

a) give the benefit of the doubt unless I can "prove" otherwise, but

b) still protect myself and assume they may have read my text.

What I mean by this is when I communicate with my mother, if I can't set out specific facts that indicate otherwise, I don't argue with her or point out otherwise.   However, when I am making plans I consider that she could be lying.  I don't assume she is but I surely consider that she could be.  In this way, we fight less and I'm less disappointed.  Hope that makes sense. 

It is tangled web for sure.  And we will make our way through it!

K40