Fabrication of Facts by Other Family Members

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gaslightedbug

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Fabrication of Facts by Other Family Members
« on: March 30, 2016, 04:19:19 PM »
I've been working on getting my uNM out of the middle of things. Her being in the middle causes so many problems and frankly leaves all power in her control what people know true or false about the situation. I've been doing this with my ex in regards to our kids. It's been tough, but one step at a time. Things have gradually gotten better with that situation thankfully. So I have started being more proactive with her being in the middle of my familys and my sister's familys relationship. Currently back in scapegoat role and my sister being in golden child role to the point of saying that "she's the only non-complete f*** up out of all three of us kids according to mom." This is not going well. uNM is pushing these boundaries with so much force it's scary. My diagnosed BP sister (who based on her actions appears to be in a manic state) is complying with everything uNM does! Now she is telling family members that she refuses to talk to me because it always ends in a fight. This is her reasoning for having uNM in the middle. I haven't seen my sister in almost a year and haven't had a conversation with her in just as long. Granted the little bit we do talk about; holidays and such, doesn't go exactly the way she wants it to. It doesn't feel like a "fight" as she puts it muchless bad enough to bring an unhealthy person like my uNM into the middle. Then again I'm looking at this Out of the FOG and not in a manic state....

Anyone else have experiences where others are fabricating things to enable PD parents to continue with this insane and hurtful behavior?

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Arya

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Re: Fabrication of Facts by Other Family Members
« Reply #1 on: March 30, 2016, 05:18:43 PM »
I feel you pain LOL. My situation little different but suspect similar enough.

My uPDm has been ordered to get a mental comp eval. She thought I reported her to whatever agency got involved. While mad she emailed a mutual family aquaitence to ask if they'd be joint guardian w me because she can't trust me not to say she's mentally ill( my mom). This family aquaitence hardly knows here and doesn't have a good track record as in: just lost a court dispute w their family members over estate money w much drama. This person is fine as a friend but is pretty NPD, money grubber and about as superficial a twit you are likely to meet.

 Sooooooo, I get a call from the twit on Easter, all drama, must come over to see me, can't tell me anything on phn...though she could spend 5 min repeating how important and unspeakable it was.  :roll:

Gets to my house and literally walks in and out of my house 3 times saying she needed to change her clothes, shoes etc. Getting things from her car????? And I'm thinking, this is ridiculous. This is total BS passive aggressive drama trip build up to tell me whatever BS thing my mom emailed her about!

Finally gets down to it, shows me email and launches into speculation of how much money my mom is worth and what do I think my mom would pay her to be a guardian.

I lost it, I was mad, but said fairly composed " you can't show up here on Easter and pull this crap, I want you to leave now!" She looked stunned and wasn't leaving so I said " I've had enough of this narcisstic, vapid. Nonsense, I don't want any part of any of it now GO! Get out of my house!"

Now if course she and mom have something to Twitter about me....I'm termpermental  :roll:

Today I got an email from my mom w thus article...linking rage outbursts to toxoplasmosis from cat poo. Yes, really.....she's used the angle that I have rage outburts for years...always looking up some new reason to explain my rage outbursts that indicate I have brain damage :roll:

Cuz u know, anyone having a problem with their behavior has to be brain damaged right? :stars:

So, I think I understand your frustrating situation. I don't know what the best advice is other than...engaging in their bolonga just fans the flames. Walk away, don't engage, don't jade, become the grey rock. Go as low contact or no contact as u can because...they are shameless, we can't win the tug of war.

I think it's a Bernard Shaw quote: never wrestle with a pig. You'll get filthy and besides, the pig likes it.

I think real pigs are pretty cute, much cuter than a PD but you get the meaning :)