Trying NC, but I have young siblings

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Smartone93

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Trying NC, but I have young siblings
« on: March 30, 2016, 07:14:53 PM »
Hi all,

I'd like some advice or maybe just someone to acknowledge that this isn't a position anyone should be in?

A few months ago, my uNPDM had one of the worst blow ups ever. She physically assaulted me, but somehow became the victim once the police arrived. For my own safety, and for the safety of my (clean) criminal record, I decided that I had to go NC. She hasn't tried to contact me directly because she's very concerned with the law and I have a video recording of her agreeing not to contact me. She has, however, filed false allegations against me through CPS and coached my 11 year-old sister to lie on her behalf. This is a huge deal for me because I work in Education.

I really believe that I need to ride this out and continue with NC, but I have two concerns. 1. how long will she continue to try to slander me and ruin my life to get me back? 2. Will I ever be able to have a relationship with my two sisters? They are 11 and 4. The 11 year-old is usually pretty good at seeing through my mom's lies, yet she was the one that concurred her story to CPS, so I'm not sure where she stands now. The 4 year-old is obviously oblivious, but I have no way to see her except through M. Do I write off a relationship with my sisters until they're old enough to get away, or do I risk letting M continue to control me through them?

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bopper

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Re: Trying NC, but I have young siblings
« Reply #1 on: March 30, 2016, 07:18:22 PM »
I would try to stay NC with your mother...she knows you are on to her and will not hesitate to ruin your career to keep you away from the other kids who are still under her control.

Maybe once your 11 year old sister is 18 you can get back in touch with her.
Just because they are incapable of loving you, doesn't mean that you are unlovable.
Anything makes the false self appear real is supply.

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Miss Kay

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Re: Trying NC, but I have young siblings
« Reply #2 on: March 31, 2016, 12:21:10 AM »
Boy that's a hard one and I'm not sure what I would do.  If there was someway to talk to your sister without you mom I think I would explain to her that you just can't afford to be around mom anymore but you still love her (your sister) very much and that she should call if she ever needs you.  That way she will know you are not leaving her.  Unless she is the GC, she too will most likely experience the wrath of mom.