What do they want?

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mdana

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Re: What do they want?
« Reply #20 on: April 01, 2016, 09:13:24 PM »
So many things...

I didn't have family support and very few friends back then.  I came from childhood abuse, so I married what was 'familiar' and was generally always isolated. I was young, ignorant, and really naive. Very smart (academically), but emotionally young, confused, and fearful. I didn't know it wasn't "normal".  I knew it was painful, but I didn't know or even believe that people actually could live loving, peaceful lives with loving, gentle partners.  Had no idea that existed...

I wish ...I could have had a community similar to this one.  A place where I could "learn" what I was dealing with.  Another person's story that sounded similar to mine to give me insight, advise, support so that I could have had the opportunity to protect myself, awaken and stay awake.  I needed to know, see, and accept the Truth and find a way out. 

Ignorance is NOT bliss ... It's toxic, painful, and has long lasting impact.  Some cultures/religions actually think it's a sin.

M
Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. The Dalai Lama

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hhaw

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Re: What do they want?
« Reply #21 on: April 01, 2016, 09:39:12 PM »
I would have trusted my gut, and not been talked into going out with my ASPD again.... but that's not very helpful to you now.

Honestly, I had all the information about the pd I needed in those first gut reactions.  I could have avoided a world of suffering if I'd just honored myself above all.

About the witness list.... you should see if you can legally record conversations with others in your State.  If so, I'd record calls I made to the pd's family members discussing potential testimony.... of course phrasing it in terms that would best protect the children, and bring about the best visitation schedule, etc.  Ask them for their  opinions rather than approach with a judgmental critical POV.

Most of all... have compassion for your pd in those conversations.  Give his family members space to speak honestly about the pd.  Once you have those recordings you can force them to testify honestly if you have to, IME.  Even if conversations aren't recorded, people don't like to lie about conversations they don't KNOW weren't recorded.  It's a very good starting place to get witnesses to step up, and do the right thing, IME.

hhaw

 
hhaw



What you are speaks so loudly in my ears.... I can't hear a word you're saying.

When someone tells you who they are... believe them.

"That which does not kill us, makes us stronger."
Nietchzsche

"It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness."
Eleanor Roosevelt

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Kit99

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Re: What do they want?
« Reply #22 on: April 02, 2016, 12:37:11 AM »
Thanks for the words of wisdom and great advice. I've had a difficult time with the conflict between my head and my heart. Your suggestions make a lot of sense.