Did any of you in marriages pretend to the outside world that things were good?

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RunningFree

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Thanks Rocket Girl.  Yep, one more way that kids complicate things - they're totally worth it, though  :)
When going through Hell, keep going.

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healingnow

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Absolutely pretended that everything was good.  Like Kit said in her post, the behaviors were quirky at first but after a while the trust was gone.  That's what happened to me.  My h lied so much that I totally lost all trust in him.  I don't know if he ever cheated on me.  I know he told me from the beginning that he would never ever ever betray me that way.  Ha… I believed him.   Many years I walked around with him in public with the "big" fake smile.   Funny my T said I'd be surprised how many clients she has that do the exact same thing.  Freaky isn't it?

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Rocket Girl

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It's interesting, that's for sure.  I get putting up pretenses but ouch it must be painful to live like that.    we sure deserve better.

I used to worry my busily dating ex n/bpd would see me alone in my house and know I wasn't dating anyone, and that bothered me, but no more.  I don't care what he thinks an its so liberating. Hope it lasts.
- Rocket Girl

I will take my broken heart any day over his lack of one.

You don't have to be hit to be hurt.