OOTF Revelations

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trustyourgut

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OOTF Revelations
« on: April 02, 2016, 12:20:21 AM »
Today only marks 10 days OOTF and I just had a MASSIVE memory sequence surface. It started by me going on a stream of consciousness that made me have the thought "I wish I had done that hobby more so id be better at it now. I couldve if I  just  wasnt so lazy." That was immediately followed by a memory of my BPD mother's voice saying, "You're so lazy!!" And then another. And then another. And another. And pretty soon within about 60 seconds It was clear that I had been brainwashed. Im not lazy at all! In fact i experienced this revelation on my way home from working 9 hours! Suddenly it became clear that the only thing EVER holding me back was my mindset that I was lazy. And thats just plain not true. How did i believe this for so long?!!!

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Lovemypumpkins

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Re: OOTF Revelations
« Reply #1 on: April 02, 2016, 02:26:10 AM »
They have a PD, which affects young children severely. I hate the term brainwashed, but I use it. You are a good, hard working person. Your thoughts about yourself and respect for yourself will begin to rise with each passing moment and day. Life is short, enjoy everything you have done and accomplished. I've started guitar, when I have energy and time, not lazy if I take a day or week off. Focus on what you enjoy.

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trustyourgut

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Re: OOTF Revelations
« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2016, 02:56:51 AM »
They have a PD, which affects young children severely. I hate the term brainwashed, but I use it. You are a good, hard working person. Your thoughts about yourself and respect for yourself will begin to rise with each passing moment and day. Life is short, enjoy everything you have done and accomplished. I've started guitar, when I have energy and time, not lazy if I take a day or week off. Focus on what you enjoy.

Guitar is a passion of mine too! Thank you for your response and hugs to you!

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Souz

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Re: OOTF Revelations
« Reply #3 on: April 02, 2016, 09:47:49 AM »
I love moments of realization like that. Having the power to dispel old beliefs and reject the messages our PD parent sent us is such freedom. 
Be brave enough to break your own heart - Cheryl Strayed

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trustyourgut

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Re: OOTF Revelations
« Reply #4 on: April 02, 2016, 10:58:14 PM »
I love moments of realization like that. Having the power to dispel old beliefs and reject the messages our PD parent sent us is such freedom.

Freedom's the word!