advice please. Introducing ex to new partner

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Philomena

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advice please. Introducing ex to new partner
« on: April 06, 2016, 06:06:25 PM »
Hello,

After a very long "roommate" situation with lots of drama, I removed my ex-NPD-ADD-BipolarII from the house in June 2015, divorce final in September.  I dated a bit this summer, settled on a "nice" guy, and let him go in October.  Started dating again and met a wonderful man that I am head over heels in love with.  We've been together nearly 5 months now and he (ok, we) are talking about the future.  He's so different from NPDex.  We have literally never fought, chat all the time, have long phone calls, etc.

Children are grown (in college).  One has nothing to do with ex, one has put up lots of boundaries and understands that they need ex's financial support.

ex came to pick up younger to take for a movie/dinner.  As usual, he barged into the house "to pet the dogs."  I had informed Mr. Wonderful that this would probably happen and asked if he would like to go hide when he came or be introduced.  He said, "You can introduce me, I'm not hiding."

So ex barged in, petted the dogs, and brought me a document we need to file. I couldn't get a word in edgewise and he left.

He told younger child that "it would have been very rude for me to introduce him to my boyfriend, but at least it wasn't a total broadside because he knew about it from Facebook (I unfriended him months ago).

Since when is introducing people rude?  I should think NOT introducing people would be rude.

What would you have done, and what should I do in future?

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Scout

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Re: advice please. Introducing ex to new partner
« Reply #1 on: April 06, 2016, 06:17:27 PM »
You can't expect logic from your ex.  :) Continue to trust yourself and your best, safest instincts.  If those are satisfied, you can be polite and civil whenever you can afford to be.  But rest assured that nothing was going to be good enough, because it's a new man.

And the introduction only needed to happen because you have kids together. 

(Since I do not have kids with my ex, I have no intention of ever introducing my ex to anyone, and hope not to run into him, even though I wish him well.)

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Rocket Girl

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Re: advice please. Introducing ex to new partner
« Reply #2 on: April 06, 2016, 08:53:35 PM »
You are a better woman than I, Scout.  I wish mine would fall in a man hole.  lol...
- Rocket Girl

I will take my broken heart any day over his lack of one.

You don't have to be hit to be hurt.

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Philomena

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Re: advice please. Introducing ex to new partner
« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2016, 01:09:48 PM »
Lol.   The good thing is, he showed up with messy hair, 37 o'clock shadow, and his dirty "homeless man" coat with food smudges all down the front. 

Mr. Wonderful, who showers and shaves every day (even Saturday) and keeps his hair cut short and nice, and even when he is wearing a T-shirt or hoodie looks presentable, got to see this.  When ex left, Mr. Wonderful said, "Wow.  I see what you were saying."

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Rocket Girl

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Re: advice please. Introducing ex to new partner
« Reply #4 on: April 07, 2016, 09:44:14 PM »
Wow, Phil,,,  you gave up that winner???  lol...
- Rocket Girl

I will take my broken heart any day over his lack of one.

You don't have to be hit to be hurt.

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Philomena

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Re: advice please. Introducing ex to new partner
« Reply #5 on: April 08, 2016, 01:40:57 AM »
Uh, I shoved him out the door. yeah.  Don't know what's wrong with me...

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kiwihelen

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Re: advice please. Introducing ex to new partner
« Reply #6 on: April 08, 2016, 03:12:51 AM »
Would love to be introduced to the uPDx.
Unfortunately she runs crying any time she sees me in a public place.
Rather tedious after 6 years...
Still it might have its uses at the next family court hearing.