I am good enough

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fiona

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I am good enough
« on: April 23, 2016, 05:55:38 PM »
I found this quote below on a FB page. It really helped me.

"When I began to see things through new eyes, I started to get a glimmer of hope that perhaps *I* could be good enough for me, and that if I could achieve that status, then others opinions including my own familiesí opinions, would no longer matter. I began to realize that I had been agreeing with their rejection of me because I didnít know anything else. As I grew stronger I began to stop rejecting myself". Darlene~ EmergingfromBroken.com

Being good enough for 'me' is a giant step.  At age 62 I am finding that I spent to many years trying to be what everyone wanted me to be. I am determined that the rest of my years I will listen to my inner voice, and do what's right for me.

Who I am matters, not what they expected me to be.


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fiona

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Re: I am good enough
« Reply #1 on: April 24, 2016, 02:12:32 PM »
still good enough today!! ;D

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fiona

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Re: I am good enough
« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2016, 07:00:15 PM »
its when i dont get one single comment i go back to feeling not good enough...kinda like mom does...really need a shrink  :stars:

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freedfromchaos

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Re: I am good enough
« Reply #3 on: April 25, 2016, 08:42:11 PM »
I saw your post yesterday. I couldn't think of anything to add at that time but remembering "still good enough today !" made me smile several times through out the day. And it was a gentle support today, which  has been exhausting while dealing with bpd mother and sorting out some paperwork.

You're a ray of sunshine even when you don't know it. Thank you!

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Totallytickedoff

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Re: I am good enough
« Reply #4 on: April 26, 2016, 05:45:10 AM »
Seeing things thru unFOG'd eyes is amazing, isn't it? You are good enough - don't let anybody tell you otherwise! Keep telling yourself that too. Sounds like you are in a better place but sometimes you get that nagging inner voice. Glad you are here so you have a supportive team to gain some validation. For my healing process right now I need validation.
 :bighug:

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JollyJazz

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Re: I am good enough
« Reply #5 on: April 26, 2016, 07:54:25 AM »
Thanks Fiona! :) I agree - this is SO important. I also really struggle with the feeling good enough, feeling okay etc. I'm trying to quell my inner critic and trying not to people please so much!
Thanks for your quote! It's so important to be reminded of the importance of this!
Good on you for listening to what you want to do for you!

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freedfromchaos

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Re: I am good enough
« Reply #6 on: April 29, 2016, 10:26:15 AM »
We are still GOOD ENOUGH!!!!  ;D

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AnnaSF

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Re: I am good enough
« Reply #7 on: April 29, 2016, 12:23:49 PM »
Hi Fiona,

You are more than good enough, you're wonderful!  We've had a very tough situation with pd parents and all that it entails.

I think many people never find their way Out of the FOG.  It seems really tough to do so, the pds fight it like crazy and are impossible to deal with.  I identify, I'm in my 60's also and still working on myself and trying to overcome an unpdm, dysfunctional family and some tough times.  I'm trying to find myself after a lifetime or working too hard and trying to please others.  Now I want to be myself and take good care of me.

I found this quote, "I choose to make the rest of my life, the best of my life."  That's my goal these days.

I wish you well!

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fiona

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Re: I am good enough
« Reply #8 on: April 29, 2016, 04:59:38 PM »
Thank you all so much :hug: It's so awesome to have others who understand. It's sad we've all been thru this mess. To have had normal family would have been nice, wouldn't it, not the dysfunctional ones we all have,  but that's  not happening so I think to "make the rest of our lives the best of our lives" is a wonderful way to think :) and a great quote!!

  I do worry about the days ahead. My mom is a hypochondriac and I'm sure she's counting on me her only daughter to take care of her when she finally does have some real health issues, but I can't do it!! I would wither away in no time at all having to deal with her.  Golden brother lives with her and my stepdad. He's 57 and has no shame living there having mama cook for him. I say he can take care of mom. I bet he gets out of there fast when she truly needs help.

 I will help but at a distance. I am tired of dysfunction, tired of being ignored unless she wants to whine, tired of her sons being the top of the crop in her eyes..... so yes I am and we all are 'good enough'  and deserve a happy life.  We should take every chance we get to create a fulfilling life free of guilt, and people pleasing. My 3 brothers nor my mother never made me feel special, but I know we are all very special :yes:

Thanks again. I care about all of you

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Salsera

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Re: I am good enough
« Reply #9 on: April 29, 2016, 07:54:08 PM »
I am 54 and i was only able to start thinking of myself as "good enough" when I cut off all contact with all of FOO, at 51. I have been taking careof myself emotionally, alone, all of my life because I never had the support of family I say that I grew up without a mother. Now that I am away from NM and her "crew", I have been able to heal. I no longer subject myself to their abuse, and going NC was the best thing that I ever did for myself. Let the GC brothers and sisters-in-laws take care of the sick old woman. I'm done with all of them. To protect myself.

I no longer care what they say or do about me or to me.
"Faith is taking the first step even when you donít see the whole staircase." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

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all4peace

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Re: I am good enough
« Reply #10 on: April 30, 2016, 12:28:30 AM »
I love that original quote! Thanks for sharing it :)