classic PD text exchange

  • 6 Replies
  • 1092 Views
*

thebutcher

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • 86
classic PD text exchange
« on: May 17, 2016, 11:13:14 PM »
uBPD close friend of mine exploded at me and I distanced myself, told her I needed space, which she's managed to observe for a few weeks. She texted me tonight and here is nearly verbatim how it went.

[text clipped and pending edit and repost if needed]

 :stars:
Stupid of me to display an emotional reaction to her very obvious baiting.  I'm still learning.

Now I'm getting the long form martyr texts which I'm choosing to totally ignore.  I can't imagine anything I could say to engage with it that would do any good.
« Last Edit: May 19, 2016, 09:29:52 AM by Spring Butterfly »

*

Frazzled

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 171
Re: classic PD text exchange
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2016, 12:46:20 AM »
Good move. Bad attention is better than no attention for these people, so they can claim martyrdom even to a mild response.

*

thebutcher

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • 86
Re: classic PD text exchange
« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2016, 11:34:49 AM »
Thanks.  It's funny, I'm not angry with her at all.  There's no grudge.   I feel kind of sorry for her actually.  I just don't have the time and energy to deal with this drama.

I got the the whole enchilada from her after I stopped reading her texts last night.

I got 1) the martyr text  where she actually used the phrase "I belittled myself and my behavior at your feet."  I didn't ask her for an apology, I only asked her for space.

I got 2) the guilt/obligation text "I've always been there for you" coupled with a minimization of the blowup that set this all off: "if you want to hate me over a mundane argument that's on you."  LOL I never said I hated her.  I don't!

I got 3) "Saying 'no sorry' is an insult and you know it."   :upsidedown:

We're neighbors so I'm going to run into her eventually.  Any tips for a medium chill reply to this nonsense?  She's convinced herself that I hate her and I've written her off and all the stuff when really I just don't care about her weepy, self-pitying nonsense.

*

FinallyPeace

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 148
Re: classic PD text exchange
« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2016, 11:40:32 AM »
Wow you and Kovera have the same neighbor.  LOL :upsidedown:
"Behind the smile, a hidden knife!"
― Ancient Chinese saying describing passive-aggressive behavior
*
"Red flags aren't party favors.  Don't collect them."
--Unknown

*

thebutcher

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • 86
Re: classic PD text exchange
« Reply #4 on: May 18, 2016, 11:48:14 AM »
Right??? Sheesh.   :no:

*

FinallyPeace

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 148
Re: classic PD text exchange
« Reply #5 on: May 18, 2016, 11:57:15 AM »
I had a neighbor like that once.  I felt badly for her, but they were her and her husband's own bad financial choices.

I remember them saying to us one time, "You have two cars.  We have none.  You should give us one of your cars." :aaauuugh: :aaauuugh:

Um, no.  How about NO?!  LOL :sly:
"Behind the smile, a hidden knife!"
― Ancient Chinese saying describing passive-aggressive behavior
*
"Red flags aren't party favors.  Don't collect them."
--Unknown

*

thebutcher

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • 86
Re: classic PD text exchange
« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2016, 12:14:34 PM »
Haha wowwwww.  NOPE.