Am I also crazy?????

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Am I also crazy?????
« on: June 08, 2016, 10:32:14 AM »
Really questioning myself now.

My sister and I grew up very close.  We were born just 16 months apart.  Up until I would say 2010 to 2012, we were close.  She had some issues....but did not really show her true self until 2012.

You can see from my other posts that my sister's husband hired a private detective....which my sister blames me and my mother for....  We had no clue.  We had no contact with my sister's husband for a long time after she left him.  My sister thinks she is a detective.  I have an email she sent to someone in the family (she just found out last week that I actually have it).  She said her lawyer said that they wished all their clients were like her providing all of the information to them that she did.  Then why did she settle out of court; why did she settle for less than she thought she was going to get?  Did she not tell her lawyers some of the things that she had done? 

Last week I received a text message from my sister whom I believe is BPD....hints of NPD and histrionic tendencies.  She apologized and wanted us not to be like a person she had talked to...a person whose family had disowned him.

Long story....but she had gone to family members in 2013 stating that my mother and I were telling lies about her.  She was not seeing X - not in a relationship with X (X had called my mother before my sister left her husband...asking for my mother's and father's permission to date my sister when she left her husband....and when he got rid of his baggage - meaning his wife; crazy I know....what 50+ year old man does that????).  X came to my sister's house after she had surgery - and before she left her husband. He came several times.  One time - he stayed a little too long and her husband came home from work a little early.  Her husband did not know him; had never met him.  She later told him (and others) ... that we had gone to church youth group together (X never went to church; occasionally came to youth group with someone)...and that we had grown up with X ' just like brother and sister ' (we had not).

My uncle told my mother what my sister came to him and his wife and said.  My sister said that mama and I were telling lies about her seeing X.  (My sister denies that she brought up X's name.)  My uncle was suspicious of my sister coming to his house - she had not been in over 20 years to his home.  He had seen her maybe once or twice a year at family gatherings or funerals. When she got married...she basically did not visit anyone in our family.  Well I took my aunt to my sister's apartment and showed her X's truck at her apartment.  (Maybe that was wrong.  I really do not this point.  I know that it was not "stalking" as my sister claims.)  Anyway I thank God that I took her there...and showed them that she was lying.  Plain and simple she had lied.

I also talked to a mutual friend of mine and my sisters in 2015.  He saw me...and just like others...first thing out of his mouth was how was my sister.  I tell him that I do not know.  She cut us out of her life in 2012.  We talk.  He says that my sister told him the story about her husband being in a homosexual relationship (she had told this about her husband and her preacher).  This mutual friend said that he did not believe that (guess why - because this mutual friend is gay).  He knew it was not true.  Well long story short .... this mutual friend and I exchanged emails about the situation.

Well...after getting the text last week, my sister sent several more "nice" texts.  Then she sends the 'bomb'.  She's been reading what I have said about her and the "war is on".  The mutual friend had shared the emails with my sister - that is all that I can think.  Was I wrong to share - probably yes.  But I needed to vent. 

My sister has put my 70+ year old parents through hell.  She has prevented her 2 children from having any contact with my parents.  My parents and I were at my sister's home visiting her and those kids every week of their lives.  We went on family trips together.  I did school projects with those kids.  Etc....etc....

Many members of the family and community have nothing to do with me and my parents.  My sister says that they all think we are crazy, because we want control of her life....we are stalking her, etc.  (Just to prove to you that we are not 'stalking' - she has bought a townhome in 2014.  We know the address because she sent a card to my father with the return address.  We have never seen the place although it is maybe 20 minutes from our house (my parents live with me.))

I have come to the realization that we are never going to be family (on yes - I have been through the grieving mom and dad too - it is very hard to see the effects of all of this shit on them).  I have come to the realization that we are never going to be a part of my nephews lives.  My sister will make damn sure of that.  She knows how much that hurts my mother.  She wants to put the screws to me and my mother.  She has threatened to have both of us arrested. She did go to the police and said that I had written her a blackmail letter.....I got a call from the officer.....and nothing else.  (I did NOT send any letter.)

Is there something wrong with me?  Am I the crazy one?  Really questioning stuff now.  I know that is what she wants.  She wants my life to be an absolute hell.  I want her to leave me alone. 

Sorry for the long post and rambling.  I've gone without much sleep this week.  I'm really not one for counseling.  My family just has never talked about our family situations.  I know we are a messed up bunch though.  I just want someone else's opinion - and honest opinion - is it me?



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Re: Am I also crazy?????
« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2016, 11:05:08 AM »
I found another blog....
today's message....narcissist doesn't think their violent and abusive behavior is disgusting and despicable.  They believe writing about it is.
They feel entitled to abuse the living shit out of us.
Trashing property is something, but trashing a person's reputation is nothing?
A damaged life is irrelevant, but a dented vehicle is important.

You should have heard my sister screaming at me Sunday.  I had phone on speaker so my parents heard it.


Viola Violet

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Re: Am I also crazy?????
« Reply #2 on: June 26, 2016, 03:18:42 AM »
Hello amazedsister.  It seems like you are on a merry-go-round that you'd like to get off.  Navigating such a dizzying set of events takes a tremendous amount of energy and time.  I don't know you but from what I've read above it seems that all her deflecting and fingerpointing is to keep you busy so that you don't get to the part where you can pass judgement on her for the things she has done.  She can't face her own behaviour and would rather look at everyone else's behaviour.  She may even remember that you once were close and your judgement would hurt her greatly because she remembers that love in your history.  I believe the battle is wearing you down. You're not crazy, you're tired.
« Last Edit: June 26, 2016, 03:22:14 AM by Viola Violet »
Hurt people, hurt people.



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Re: Am I also crazy?????
« Reply #3 on: June 26, 2016, 07:32:18 AM »
No, you are not crazy and neither am I. I've been smeared for six years where people in my minority faith community think I broke up my SOs marriage. Ironic thing is we've only been in the same country for 2years and living together 8months.
He left her for his own sanity. The fact we love each other is a side show issue.
But it prevents people from seeing that a woman still abusing her ex and their kids 6 years after a separation is a problem