My Sisters

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little fish

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My Sisters
« on: June 09, 2016, 01:26:45 AM »
I have been separated from my DH for nearly four months now and I just realized my sisters (I have a older and a younger sister), have not called me since I've separated. Not once have they actually picked up the phone to see how I am doing, I'm in regular contact with my parents, I realize that my sisters have their own lives but in the past they have both say how much they love me and care for me, but it's been radio silence from them.

I admit I've made mistakes with them both, but I have tried to mend rifts only to receive silence from them. I've even rang my youngest sister to thank her for the clothes she gave Miss 11, ok we rang when they were having dinner but she didn't even call back to speak to DD further.

I've been sending my older sister photos of the girls close to every week with no reply or even acknowledgement that she has received them, it's actually more like six months since I've spoken to my oldest sister. She hasn't forgiven me for a HUGE mistake I made last year, I have apologised and I feel so bad for hurting her but how long do I have to wait for even one phone call.

Yes I have tried to phone her too.

I brought my niece a birthday present and gave it to my youngest sister thanked her again for the clothes for DD, but I haven't even received a thank you from my niece.

It may seem petty but all through my childhood I felt like the odd one out, not just because I'm the middle child either. It seems to have expanded since becoming a adult, I've made choices in my life that my parents don't always agree on but I'm not a terrible person.

Even now my parents brag about what my sisters are doing, my BIL (younger sisters DH), is the favourite out of the two SIL's. My oldest sister isn't married, there is nothing wrong with that, I always felt bad when the small minded people in our town judged her for it.

My parents are good people, I'm sure they mean well but even when I've brought up how I feel my Mum just goes straight to how I made my sisters feel. :(

At this hard time I wish they could stop holding my flaws against me and actually pick up the phone and call me. I know my oldest sister speaks to my mother weekly, because my mother tells me she always ask after me :(
I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all of the time.
Anna Freud

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Sunny

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Re: My Sisters
« Reply #1 on: June 17, 2016, 04:43:20 AM »
So sorry little fish. I have a nice rental to escape from atbexh in Jan, not one sib wanted to even see it. They were all appalled that I would dislodge DD from her "family home", where N/OCPDh refused to EVER leave (violating custody agreement) and harassed me (hence TRO).

One sis handed off some cheap prints from a Big Box store that had been cluttering up her basement.

When I informed them of the TRO, only ONE of 4 sibs even replied to my email!! And my sil, who I really like, RUNS away from me at family events.

So sad, I wish someone had been able to tell me how abysmally I was going to be treated. School of hard knocks.

I feel for you, family members may not want to face imperfections in their own r/s, or feel pity, or even consescension because their lives are "so much better". Ha! Prob not.

Good luck to you, we have your back!!

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Lillith65

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Re: My Sisters
« Reply #2 on: June 17, 2016, 01:29:01 PM »
I am so sorry that your sisters are behaving this way. It is more common than you would think.
I used to visit my sister every week, drive her around (she can't drive) and lend her money. I was never once asked to have a meal with her family. She never, ever rang me. She never gave my son a birthday card or a present or anything at Christmas.  When she came to my home for meals she criticised the food and the cooking. She never visited me any of the several times that I was hospitalised. She has never visited my new home. She invited everyone to her home for Christmas and then told me that I had to pay for my Christmas dinner - no one else was asked for money. She and my parents regularly gossip about my rubbish taste in men, my poor dress sense (according to them) and how useless I am. The final straw was when she posted some really nasty, cruel stuff on a social networking site about me - completely unprovoked too.
I wish I had got the message sooner that she didn't care or want my company!
« Last Edit: June 17, 2016, 01:30:59 PM by K8EB »
You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm - anonymous.

Part of my story: https://www.outofthefog.net/forum/index.php?topic=54885.msg488293#msg488293
https://www.outofthefog.net/forum/index.php?topic=54892.msg488385#msg488385

NC uPDM; NC uBPDSis