N from All Angles

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No.

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N from All Angles
« on: June 22, 2016, 01:26:05 PM »
I guess the common denominator is ME isn't it..lol.

I spent time with several of my long time friends lately, and it was so FUNCTIONAL AND NORMAL. It felt good.

Meanwhile, in my real life, my work is NPD. Totally dysfunctional. YET I'VE STAYED. I am trying to get out. Hard. But have not found anything for close to enough money. I found two part times (altogether not enough money but may just leap). It's THAT bad. Of course in the meantime rather than having a source of support in my uNm, she is hoovering and trying to manipulate. It's like she KNOWS I am going through a rough time and is honing in out of the blue (otherwise NC).

So one friend, who I have had serious red flags before, asks me to a bar yesterday. I hadn't seen her in a while and thought what the heck. She is a nice person with a good heart, albeit what I like to think of as "quirky". I have at times thought she has no social awareness or boundaries at times. She has also been kind and supportive at times. Anyway, at the bar she had few sips of wine and promptly became noticeable the most obnoxious person in the place. She was LOUD, brash, telling people what to do, drawing attention to herself, and wound up almost getting in a fight! I was SO embarrassed. But what did I do? STUCK AROUND. I did tell her to knock it off (with the almost fighting). I just felt so ICKY. I felt out of control and not having a good time. It was awful.

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bopper

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Re: N from All Angles
« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2016, 03:25:46 PM »
We humans are susceptible to the Fallacy of Sunk Cost.

As an example, if we paid to go to a movie...and we hate it...we will stay there because we paid $12 for the ticket, even if we would have a better time if we just left and did something else.

So you were at this bar with this person, and you probably said to yourself that I dressed up, we drove there...and Now I want to leave?   

It's hard...but next time you  know not to go with her or say "You know what? You don't seem to be having a good time anymore...let's leave" or "I need to go now...see you later."
Just because they are incapable of loving you, doesn't mean that you are unlovable.
Anything makes the false self appear real is supply.

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No.

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Re: N from All Angles
« Reply #2 on: June 23, 2016, 08:57:31 PM »
You're right...I had paid a BOAT LOAD for parking, and it was to watch the game I wanted to watch, and I didn't think I should have to be run off from the place I had wanted to be. But it was so awkward..