How to handle an online smear campaign

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popsicle

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How to handle an online smear campaign
« on: June 24, 2016, 07:18:46 AM »
Hi Everyone :)

After going through what I did with my ex best friend with BPD, I discovered I had another friend who most likely has BPD.  We had drifted apart for a few years then she reappeared.  It wasn't long before I saw the red flags.  The difference with this one as apposed to the other is that she's a definite witch rather than a waif, like my previous friend.  She lashed out a few times at me and I knew it was time to get away from her, so I retreated. 

This then led to her posting passive aggressive comments (clearly about me) on social media, blocking/unblocking me from different social media accounts and playing the victim.  I ignored everything.  Then I ended up blocking her on social media once I realized she had unblocked me.  I didn't need to see the taunts from her on mutual friends posts after I had commented on them.

Things have been fine for a few months, however I suspect now she may be conducting a smear campaign.  She has restricted the view access on social media for my close friend, and I have recently had a mutual friend, who is close to the  (suspected) BPD, delete me from social media.

I'm trying not to let this bother me, but it is, it really is.  What everyone isn't aware of is how she treated me.  They couldn't know cause I kept my mouth shut about the abusive outbursts.  People don't walk away from others for no good reason, yet this person has gained sympathy and attention by playing the victim.

It's ridiculous.  We are not teenagers, we are in our 30's.

I guess I'm interested to know if anyone has had to deal with this and how you handled it.  I'm not sure whether I take a break from social media or just continue on my merry way - not change my online activity - and live my life as if nothing bothers me. ` 

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all4peace

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Re: How to handle an online smear campaign
« Reply #1 on: June 24, 2016, 08:47:34 AM »
http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/2011/08/smear-campaign-hallmark-of-sociopath.html
http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/2011/08/smear-campaign-hallmark-of-sociopath.html

I'm not sure if those help at all, but perhaps they can at least lead you to information that might be helpful. I'm so sorry you're facing this. It's so hard to stay quiet and keep a clean nose while realizing someone else is bashing us and we are not defending ourselves.

I tend to believe that the loudest person is not the most credible one.

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popsicle

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Re: How to handle an online smear campaign
« Reply #2 on: June 24, 2016, 10:06:32 AM »
I tend to believe that the loudest person is not the most credible one.

I hope mutual friends think the same way :)  But, I need to get over that.  I have no control over what she does.  All I can do is keep quiet and hope it blows over.

Thanks for the support and the links - I will have a read :)

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Pepin

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Re: How to handle an online smear campaign
« Reply #3 on: June 24, 2016, 12:22:43 PM »
Yeah I have this one *friend* that continuously posts these subliminal messages about how friends and life should be.   :roll:  I am almost 100% certain that they are directed at me -- because I am not caring to her anymore.  Too bad for her.  It will just be a matter of time before she vanishes....and then I will delete her completely from my social media outlets.  Sucks that we live in the same town though...
NPD F (overt) NC
DPD MIL (covert) VLC
FALLEN GC SIB
GC#2 SIB (covert) LC headed to NC

No PD is going to tell me what to do.

People who don't bring joy, let them go.

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moglow

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Re: How to handle an online smear campaign
« Reply #4 on: June 24, 2016, 12:54:08 PM »
Chances are you're not her only target and a lot of other people are watching her "vague-booking" and wondering wth is going on *this time*. Some (too many) thrive on that kind of drama.

Smear campaigns are senseless and foolish. The one being smeared isn't the only problem, clearly, and anyone who participated is questionable in my mind.

Honestly, don't participate or allow it to affect You. That's them and their stuff. I bet if you think about it you'll realize you're not at all the only person this "friend" has treated this way. It just gives us a different viewpoint when we become the target. Hopefully rethinking it that way will help - I know it has for me.


"Expectations are disappointments under construction.  ~ Cap'n Spanky

Stop Stinkin' Thinkin'!

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popsicle

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Re: How to handle an online smear campaign
« Reply #5 on: June 24, 2016, 03:30:35 PM »
Yeah I have this one *friend* that continuously posts these subliminal messages about how friends and life should be.   :roll:  I am almost 100% certain that they are directed at me -- because I am not caring to her anymore. 

Same.  It's obvious with mine that it's about me due to references she's made, which are specific to me, even though she does not mention my name.  So, with the references, all her friends/followers clearly know it's about me.

Yep, it does suck!

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popsicle

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Re: How to handle an online smear campaign
« Reply #6 on: June 24, 2016, 03:36:02 PM »
Chances are you're not her only target and a lot of other people are watching her "vague-booking" and wondering wth is going on *this time*. Some (too many) thrive on that kind of drama.

Smear campaigns are senseless and foolish. The one being smeared isn't the only problem, clearly, and anyone who participated is questionable in my mind.

Honestly, don't participate or allow it to affect You. That's them and their stuff. I bet if you think about it you'll realize you're not at all the only person this "friend" has treated this way. It just gives us a different viewpoint when we become the target. Hopefully rethinking it that way will help - I know it has for me.

Thanks for the reminder moglow :)  Yes, you are absolutely correct, she has treated many people like this before.  And you are right - it's different now that I am the target.  I've seen her be so incredibly vindictive to other people over the years, and do some pretty awful stuff, but being the target now had put a different spin on things for me.  I had "forgotten" about her poor reputation and history of spiteful behavior!!!

Thanks so much for your comment, it really has made me feel a whole lot better :hug:
« Last Edit: June 24, 2016, 03:37:55 PM by popsicle »

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moglow

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Re: How to handle an online smear campaign
« Reply #7 on: June 24, 2016, 10:55:57 PM »
That's been the only way I can depersonalize the way mother talks to me, is by reminding myself that she badmouths everybody I know. It doesn't make it okay by any means, but at least I can separate myself from it that way.
"Expectations are disappointments under construction.  ~ Cap'n Spanky

Stop Stinkin' Thinkin'!