Child doesn't like NPD parent

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mamato3

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Child doesn't like NPD parent
« on: June 28, 2016, 06:57:26 PM »
Has anyone else's child expressed a pretty intense dislike for their parent since a very early age? DS13 doesn't like his father, isn't close to him, and doesn't care if he sees him. I have gone out of my way to try to make things better (took DS out to lunch with ex/I when he was little, spent time together etc) but it's never gotten better. When DS was 4 he apparently said to his dad "I don't trust you."  :blink: Ex only revealed this to me recently. DS never lived with both of us. We divorced when he was a brand new infant and he has grown up in a home where people are healthy...so perhaps this is why NPD ex has never been able to manipulate him. Also, he had no visitation for the first year, supervised visits for a year after that, and then quite limited visits thereafter. He has witnessed DV with ex's current wife, and has heard the way he speaks to her and her son and finds it disgusting, which may be a huge factor.  Just wondering if our case is common since many report that their children are crazy about their PD parent.

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all4peace

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Re: Child doesn't like NPD parent
« Reply #1 on: June 28, 2016, 07:07:08 PM »
I'm responding as the adult of a probable NPDm and DIL of probable uNBPDmil. On both sides of the family, there are no close bonds between the mothers and their children. There are some friendly relationships but no warmth, true depth or attachment. While both enFs are warmer and kinder, there are also not deep bonds with enFs.

I don't think that it's possible to build a deep relationship with someone who doesn't know how to love or show empathy. It sounds like your son is pretty observant and intuitive, to be able to voice a distrust at the age of 4, and so it's not surprising that he can see his dad's disorder and seek a distance from it.