Section for non-PD Teens?

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Happily_After

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Section for non-PD Teens?
« on: October 18, 2017, 10:58:24 AM »
Has this forum discussed creating a section specifically for non-PD teens? I know there is a section on Dealing With PD Parents but that seems geared toward adult children of toxic parents.. Or am I missing something? If the OOTF Board considers adding a section then I suggest adding two sections for teens. One section would be "The TEENS' Welcome Mat" where they could vent and see they're not alone. The other section (under Coping) would be "TEENS Dealing with PD Parents". Ideally, these sections would be primarily organized and monitored by other teens plus have a healthy adult guiding their effort.

Has there been prior discussion on Webinars and a OOTF Forum section for teens?
"Conflict Is Growth Trying To Happen"
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 "We can complain because Rose Bushes have thorns, or we can rejoice because Thorn Bushes have roses."
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Spring Butterfly

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Re: Section for non-PD Teens?
« Reply #1 on: October 18, 2017, 12:39:07 PM »
Thanks for your idea. What special issues or significant difference do you see as a teen dealing with PD Parents that's different from adults dealing with PD Parents? This will help guide our decision and how we might develop the board and concept.
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Happily_After

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Re: Section for non-PD Teens?
« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2017, 02:23:48 PM »
Thanks for considering this suggestion, Spring Butterfly.

Did you see my new post under Co-Parenting section? This idea springboards from that problem. I would like DD to get counseling but I'm sure BM will create more conflict than benefit from the effort. In counseling she could freely speak her mind and just being "heard" has a healing affect. The Forum offers kids a forum for such discussion but it's geared for adults. Non-PD teens who still live at home have different problems than adults. Providing a central location for this discussion would make finding it easier for teens.

It would help non-PD teens to be heard and validated by their peers; to know they're not alone and that others may even have it worse. I don't think a teen will relate or converse to adults who are parents the same way as with teen peers. If I asked my 16yo DD to post on OOTF Forum and read other posts, she would decline for obvious reasons. The material just doesn't relate to her issues. But she'd be encouraged if other kids did the same.

Last, OOTF is an important online support group for (non-PDs). If a teen had direct access then they could have a private lifeline to help. Anonymity would also encourage this process. Can they do they same with the current Forum? Yes, if it were not for the adolescent reluctance to share openly with non-peers
"Conflict Is Growth Trying To Happen"
        -- Dr Harville Hendrix

 "We can complain because Rose Bushes have thorns, or we can rejoice because Thorn Bushes have roses."
       -- Abraham Lincoln

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Happily_After

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Re: Section for non-PD Teens?
« Reply #3 on: October 18, 2017, 02:34:24 PM »
PS: I suggested two sections. The Teen Welcome Mat would be a place where open discussion is encouraged including "dumping" their negative emotions. It's important to get that out. But once it's done we need to move forward and start to improve our life. Learning to cope is DD's primary need right now. Keeping this section separate would focus on the positive easier
"Conflict Is Growth Trying To Happen"
        -- Dr Harville Hendrix

 "We can complain because Rose Bushes have thorns, or we can rejoice because Thorn Bushes have roses."
       -- Abraham Lincoln

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practical

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Re: Section for non-PD Teens?
« Reply #4 on: October 19, 2017, 10:27:38 PM »
Happily_After,

We understand you want to help your daughter as she is dealing with a very difficult situation. After some discussion our thoughts are as follows:

-   We dont want to set up a special board for teens as this might make them vulnerable to possible predators.
-   We rarely get teens, so a special subboard might have very little to no traffic, which would defy its purpose.
-   Sometimes teenagers do come on the Dealing with Parents board and are embraced there by the members. We all walked in their shoes at some point - even if that might have been some time ago and will listen and support to our ability. Quite a view of us do have kids, so might be able to provide a sounding board for your DD, share what we know from our experience with our kids.
-   Teenagers would also per se be minors, which adds to the complexity.

We are very sorry your ExW is sabotaging your DDs access to therapy. I think the route you are taking with reaching out to other members about resources they might have used is the safest option. When your DD is ready, she may want to try joining the Dealing with Parents board. She may want to start her own thread, read others or not depending on whether she finds she can relate to them, comment or not, simply customize her use of the board to her needs.

Best,
The OOTF team
If Im not towards myself, who is towards myself? And when Im only towards myself, what am I? And if not now, when? (Rabbi Hillel)

"I can forgive, but I cannot afford to forget." (Moglow)

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Happily_After

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Re: Section for non-PD Teens?
« Reply #5 on: October 19, 2017, 11:01:46 PM »
Thank you for your time and consideration with my suggestion. I especially want to thank all the board for this labor of love called Out of the FOG. I'm sure it's very difficult as well as very rewarding to help others OOTF.
"Conflict Is Growth Trying To Happen"
        -- Dr Harville Hendrix

 "We can complain because Rose Bushes have thorns, or we can rejoice because Thorn Bushes have roses."
       -- Abraham Lincoln