Questions about teens and cars

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Questions about teens and cars
« on: November 05, 2016, 03:37:41 PM »
We need some practical advice and suggestions. My SS14 is getting closer to driving age and already has a job 60 miles away (teaching at a ski resort). This year and next we will have to deal with getting him there when he's with us. But, in 2 years he will be able to drive himself and have his own car. I'm wondering if any of you guys have dealt with some similar situations and how you dealt with them.

Some background. BM alienated DH's 2 older children (SD22 and SD17). They have no contact with him except when they want money. BM bought the older SD a Volvo and the younger SD a Mercedes a year or so ago, along with a new car for herself and the previous year a new car for her husband. (She doesn't necessarily have boatloads of money, she just spends like she does.)

So, now that SS14 is getting closer to driving, we want to have figured out what we want/are willing to do when it comes to SS and a car. Do we just get a car for him to use at our house and insure it, but he can't take it to BM's? I'm imagining that she will want to buy him a car that is out of our budget to pay for 1/2 of, plus will have high insurance. We don't want to get tied to her in any way financially that isn't already mandated, but we will need good solutions up front.

Our BM has Borderline Personality Disorder, has alienated the 2 girls (as mentioned above) and SS14 is completely enmeshed in a very unhealthy way. In the past, BM has the only good solution and if we don't go along, then DH is a horrible parent and the kids are indoctrinated accordingly.

We don't want to have anything to do with her or how she does things, but if she buys him a car, but wants us to help pay for it and insurance, he's going to drive that car because it will be nicer than anything we'd buy. But how does it all work? Have you guys dealt with cars and exes and sharing paying of insurance or the cost of the car when the ex is this unreasonable?

I'm not even sure I'm clear about what I need to know. I just know that it's going to be ugly and messy and I so want to have solutions before all the proverbial sh*t hits the fan and so SS14 knows what the options are from this end before BM goes off on her wild ride.

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Latchkey

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Re: Questions about teens and cars
« Reply #1 on: November 12, 2016, 10:10:50 PM »
casper,

I don't know what your SS14 is like but i know both of my D's were responsible and I wanted them driving as soon as I felt safe they were on the road. I don't share any expenses with their PD Dad but I think getting two cars for a 16 year old is not the answer. I'd be proactive and maybe just take on things by getting the car and insurance in your name and then asking her to pay the gas. I don't know what is feasible in your situation but I can understand the concerns since the cost of insuring a 16 yo boy is really high. I think you have some time here luckily.

Latchkey
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