in relationship with PD senior citizens

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whipoorwhill

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in relationship with PD senior citizens
« on: December 31, 2016, 02:29:14 PM »
I am staying right now with a senior citizen acquaintance, and sometimes with another senior citizen acquaintance.  I am homeless right now and surviving the winter.  They have both been physically helpful at times since this summer.  But their communication, orchestration, "pranks" (as one called them), and sometimes lies lead me to suspect they each might have a PD.  I have multiple health problems, and am in recovery of Dissociative Identity Disorder and PTSD from severe abuse for decades by my family. 

I suspect these two have a personality disorder, as they each were alcoholic for decades and never sought professional treatment or help for stopping drinking.  And neither has ever spent any time on support websites, will not talk about the pain of their life and getting older with anyone, will not maintain healthy boundaries like I am trying to.  I think both may have very painful feelings about growing older after loosing so many years to drinking.  I can understand this, as I lost many years to abuse and Dissociative Amnesia that I can't get back.  But the downside of our relationship is that I'm healthier now than ever, and they won't let me try to help them get their health back.  I've been on so many health support websites for so many years, and made so many friends with nurses and medical professionals due to a background in Health and Human Services. 

Neither drinks anymore, but they do engage in other escapes, self soothing, and coping mechanisms.  Some of their coping mechanisms are healthy, some aren't.  Since they are senior citizens, there is no chance anymore that they will seek help for anything other than their health problems.  And I can't let them continue to use me as a dumping ground, while also lying sometimes, "pranking", and sometimes bullying.  It is disheartening, and makes me wonder if they are giving in to Narcissistic traits of others in their retirement building.   I just wish they would try to maintain healthy communication and talk things out more straightforward.  They both have such a bad habit of orchestrating, cryptic communication, "pranking",  planning out cryptic ways to manipulate (all of which are Narcissistic traits that have been very common here for many generations - city that acts more like small town).
 Thanks for reading.

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Liftedfog

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Re: in relationship with PD senior citizens
« Reply #1 on: January 01, 2017, 10:29:36 AM »
Good for you for having so much insight and healing each day.  Remember the three Cs. You can't cure, control or change other people.  Just focus on getting through the winter as it seems your stay with them is temporary.   Get yourself to your own space as soon as you can and just continue to work on yourself.  Happy new year.