Unique situation I guess

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JusticeBeaver

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Unique situation I guess
« on: January 19, 2017, 11:55:10 AM »
I am a little apprehensive about posting this because I am mildly worried that if I provide too much detail that I will be identified by someone, but I don't really know where else to turn. Brief background: I grew up with an uNPD single mother. I am currently NC for just over 1 year. Figuring that out, that she had a PD was an "AHA!" moment for me, and all of the struggles I had dealt with from a young age were suddenly explained. I recognized that I have nearly all the symptoms of CPTSD, and set to searching the internet for treatment options. I settled on DBT because the skills taught were things I need to learn, specifically interpersonal effectiveness (the ability to say no to someone, to speak up when I have an opinion and understand that most people will not be mean/hurtful/angry like NM was) and emotional regulation.

The therapy that I am doing did not require a formal diagnosis, just an assessment of symptoms. I met the criteria and have been in therapy for almost 5 months. So far, it has helped me immensely. I began in a deep depression, was gaining weight, struggled with leaving the house, had severe social anxiety that ruled my days. Now I am getting back to activities I enjoy (which include exercise and healthy eating), finding my confidence, and have been able to open up to my partner in ways I never did before.

So what is the problem? The problem is that the majority of people who enter into this therapy have a diagnosis of BPD. While NPD and BPD are distinct disorders with specific characteristics, there are many similarities as well (as most of you probably understand) and I feel like I am being manipulated and lied to by some members of the group. I felt pressured into entering into a friendship on social media with a few of the people and now all I want to do is back away but I am afraid of what the fallout will be. My therapist just wants me to use the skills I learned in therapy to navigate the new relationships rather than be avoidant of a difficult situation. The issue that I have with his opinion and guidance on the matter is that DBT focuses on acceptance and change. Specifically "accept the limitations of yourself and others, but strive for positive changes in the way you relate to the world."

I want to believe that people who are committed to their therapy will change. I am putting in my best effort to do so because I want to feel better. The people with BPD that I am interacting with say a lot of negative things. They make judgmental comments about the therapy itself, and activities that I enjoy doing. They overshare their personal history and I struggle to believe everything they say because of the history I have with PD people (my mom, an ex boyfriend, possibly my grandmother, close friends in high school) and their exaggerations and lies. They complain about something, and when I offer a solution they give me a bunch of excuses why they can't do this or that. I don't feel a need to pour out my personal history to people, if I make new friends I would like to talk about science, pop culture, animals, what's going on in our lives right now - I don't want to have a "let's one up each other to see who has had the hardest life."

It is exhausting for me, and I feel like I am back to placating and coddling my mom as I was taught to do from like age 8. I went NC with her because I did not want to live in a fantasy world of her creation anymore. The only way I could have a relationship with her would be to abandon myself and be exactly the person she needs me to be at all times. It's not that I can't do that, it's that I REFUSE to do that to myself on behalf of the child I was - trapped with an abusive, unpredictable, angry, entitled, selfish parent.

So I guess my question is for people who have a history of childhood PD abuse: have you chosen to avoid PD people like the plague, or do you work on changing your reactions to their behavior? They are pushing to have us hang out together and it was kind of like "come on, come on, let's act like friends!!" and I said yes, but I really don't want to. I have plans to discuss this with my therapist when we meet next, but he has chosen a career where he attempts to help people with PD - I don't think he wants to hear about how they manipulate and abuse people. I feel like he hears what I have to say about their behavior and how it makes me feel and he assumes I am the one with the PD and I am "splitting" them, or something. In retrospect I probably would have been better off seeking out a DBT class that was specific to PTSD and trauma backgrounds and not a "general BPD-like symptoms." CPTSD and BPD have overlapping symptoms, but the hallmark ones that define BPD - identity disturbance, frequent out of control anger, and intense fear of abandonment - don't apply to me.

Sorry if this is long, I really don't know if talking to the T will help on this one. I know that he's correct in his assertion that learning how to deal with the behavior without allowing it to guide my mood/actions will be helpful for the future. But I don't want to be supply for people who just go through life searching for supply. I don't want to be "duped" by lies. I don't want to go "oh I'm so sorry that happened to you" over and over and over again. I am worried what will happen if I stop talking to them, but equally worried about what will happen if I continue talking to them. Thanks for reading, any advice is appreciated.
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Bloomie

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Re: Unique situation I guess
« Reply #1 on: January 19, 2017, 01:51:35 PM »
JusticeBeaver - My first response to your post is one of celebration with you as you are making such important healing progress from your childhood trauma and the C-PTSD symptoms you have experienced. Bravo!!

I grew up in a home with two uPD parents and experienced the snuffing out of my ability to say NO by a wide variety of overtly and covertly aggressive and  abusive means. I know what it is to seek that consistent steady source of empathy and support and to find it in a therapist who is dedicated to helping others and has much wisdom to offer us.

Ultimately, the only one who knows what is best and right for you is you. If this group isn't working for you then trust yourself and move on. I also was part of a group that had a slightly different focus than what I was experiencing and found at a certain point I had to step away from that therapeutic paradigm as it wasn't working for me and was actually becoming stressful and confusing in my healing journey.

I believe we learn tools and strategies and our own mind in the empowerment we experience as we are able to own our abusive pasts that we use in any and all relationships or social interactions we encounter. However, I personally look for red flags and consistent PD like behaviors in those that I allow into my friendship circles as I do not find it helpful or proof of my recovery by being surrounded by PD people. Been there and done that all my growning up years and I only want healthy, reasonable, self aware people in close proximity to me.

So, in answer to your question:
Quote from: JusticeBeaver
have you chosen to avoid PD people like the plague, or do you work on changing your reactions to their behavior?

I would say I do both things. In chosen, intentional relationships - family, close friendships, groups I am part of I avoid and distance myself from people that exhibit consistent PD behaviors accepting them and myself right where we are knowing my limits and thresholds and trusting my discernment of their limits, and in other relationships that I have no way to filter - co workers, someone I volunteer with, a neighbor, all of those daily interactions we have with the people that are around us, I continue to work on changing my responses to their behaviors and building a toolset that will work with any person in any situation or level of intimacy with me.

I know it is hard to take a different stance on what is best for you than a trusted therapist - but my encouragement would be to do what you know at heart is best and right for you!

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JusticeBeaver

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Re: Unique situation I guess
« Reply #2 on: January 19, 2017, 07:31:10 PM »
Thanks Bloomie! Therapy has been really hard, but definitely worth it.

I plan to stick it out with the therapy itself which has a group aspect to it, but the decision I have to make is regarding "extracurricular" relationships that have come out of it. I know that with BPD comes the tendency to skew interactions or insert meaning into gestures that might not be there. My fears are that I will unknowingly say or do something that is perceived as a slight to someone and then wake up to an angry message which would probably send me into an emotional flashback. But (this now me channeling my therapist) "that would be an excellent time to practice distress tolerance skills."

Thanks for your experience and insight. It makes sense to maintain the unavoidable working relationships with PD people and to limit or cease contact with "chosen" relationships like friends, inlaws, etc. I will try to stop ruminating about it for now and see how I feel after speaking with him.
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leapsand bounds

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Re: Unique situation I guess
« Reply #3 on: January 19, 2017, 11:11:25 PM »
In my experience, people who have spent a lot of time with cluster B people become over-focused on other people's needs and feelings and under-focused on their own.
It isn't rude or unkind to respect your own feelings and needs, and to choose who, how and when you want to reach out to get to know others better, or how you want to mindfully respond to those who reach out to you.  You can accept where other people are at without having any particular obligation to look after them.  It is a habit that I'm working hard to break and I consider it a sign to back off when I feel that intense sense of obligation about someone else's needs, when I'm pushed to hard and too fast, to be able to stay in my own shoes.  I'd rather give to people as a conscious choice than as an almost unconscious reflex, I give better and look after myself simultaneously that way.

I don't know if this is relevant to you

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JusticeBeaver

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Re: Unique situation I guess
« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2017, 09:21:53 PM »
Leaps and bounds - that is exactly what I'm experiencing. I feel like I have been recruited to take care of them, like I'm obligated to do it.  The relationship feels one sided, with me put in the postition of everyone's cheerleader. I am working on limiting my participation in group messages.

I'm terrified of a pd rage response, and I know well enough that one can come out of nowhere but I have to remind myself that I'm an adult and can handle a nasty message. I'm not at a place in my recovery where I can feel responsible for a new person's emotional well being and thats okay. Thanks so much for your reply.
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leapsand bounds

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Re: Unique situation I guess
« Reply #5 on: January 21, 2017, 10:39:04 PM »
Hi JB,
It sounds as though it might be important for you to speak to the facilitator.  It seems like DBT has a lot to offer people with a variety of problems, but that this group has by default become a BPD recovery group. 

One the one hand, what better opportunity to learn how to deal with your feelings and actions in relation to aggressively demanding people, on the other, it sounds like there is a real danger of you being in a kind of 'lions den' of your personal demons and being triggered and overwhelmed rather than empowered.  This group certainly doesn't sound as though it is meeting your personal needs, unless de facto exposure therapy can be made to be beneficial for you. 

Are you able to discuss goals in this group? If so, it could be beneficial to say that you are working on stopping being over-focused on other people's feelings and needs, and staying in your own shoes.  That you are learning to assert yourself, to be authentic rather than compulsively people-pleasing and to make conscious choices about what you want and don't want in relationships, and to hold to those decisions in the face of negative reactions from others.  That way, if you discuss progress, you can report your progress in not getting drawn into what you don't want to be involved with as a positive.  It also gives fair warning to others in the group.

I can see positives and negatives.  I think I'd be inclined to print out the advice in the tool kit, and refer to it often, to deal with a situation like this.  You could become the ninja of medium chill, gray rock, 49/51 etc., but if you continue to feel afraid and unable to successfully enforce boundaries, I'd definitely assess whether continuing is in your best interests.

if you feel like it, let us know how it goes.  I'm curious because it could be a unique opportunity, or a nightmare that you need to wake from.  It's great that you've made so much progress with therapy.  It takes courage to work hard on changing your way of being in the world.

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JusticeBeaver

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Re: Unique situation I guess
« Reply #6 on: January 24, 2017, 02:10:28 PM »
leapand bounds - yes, I do see this as an opportunity to be a jedi of medium chill. I have thought about reiterating the skills to the "extracurricular" members I interact with. Like say they complain that someone ignored them, the rest of the members reply "that person sucks!" I could reply, "Well, maybe that person was shy, or has social anxiety, or had something bad happen to them and wasn't feeling social..." and on and on. The skills taught in DBT are intended to help people break out of paranoid thinking, the tendency to assume, the tendency to focus everything on their own experience. Essentially it is "critical thinking" for the mentally unhealthy (this is my view on it) and it WORKS if you commit to it.

And you're right, it is treated as a BPD recovery group. It's a group done through a college program to give doctorate students hands on experience as therapists for degree credit. They do not have the authority to diagnose anyone, but in order to be approved into the therapy an individual has to meet specific criteria for BPD symptoms. I met the criteria, but like I mentioned before CPTSD and BPD have overlapping symptoms. After reading the book about CPTSD by Pete Walker, I finally understood the symptoms I have and their causes. My therapist believes that I do have BPD, while I do not. This doesn't change my feelings about myself or the therapy program. I know that the skills are helping me beyond measure, so I have no issues with being labeled this way or with the group therapy aspect itself. I just don't want to feel obligated to validate emotional vampires 24/7.

I will definitely update with how this ends up playing out. I am working on using the toolkit to construct a gentle, nonjudgemental and well thought out way to tell them that we want different things out of this friendship and I don't think I can give them what they need. I don't know that I will have the courage to actually tell them, but my therapist wants me to write it out and go over it with him. Thanks again for your reply.
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JusticeBeaver

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Re: Unique situation I guess
« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2017, 03:20:26 PM »
I just wanted to pop in with an update. So the person who planned out this get together canceled on us in favor of other plans. I immediately saw it as an easy out, a relief, though it illustrated to me the whole reason why I want to be away from PD behavior. She canceled, posted on social media that she wanted to do something else, then told me she "forgot" she had these other plans, as though they were made long before the get together was planned. I tried not to read too much into that, but it is the kind of crap my mother has done to me over and over. I didn't even want to do this thing in the first place, planned to just stick it out so I didn't make waves (chronic people pleaser), and then was dumped anyway.

Then the night before the day of the canceled plans, she messaged asking if we could still come over, just later than originally planned. The general group response was "no" and she was like "but I thought we planned it for this weekend.." What? I wanted to be like "let me get this straight... so you canceled, but expected us to still be available to you on standby? That's not how life works." But I said nothing to her about any of it, I just read the group message and carried on, because I don't want to say something mean that I will regret. I'm 100% sure that I am not going to try to go any further with these people and am going to be constructing a gentle yet firm "this sort of behavior is triggering to me, and I need to be away from it while I get healthy."

Wish me luck.
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In loco parentis

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Re: Unique situation I guess
« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2017, 07:54:37 PM »

And you're right, it is treated as a BPD recovery group. It's a group done through a college program to give doctorate students hands on experience as therapists for degree credit. They do not have the authority to diagnose anyone, but in order to be approved into the therapy an individual has to meet specific criteria for BPD symptoms. I met the criteria, but like I mentioned before CPTSD and BPD have overlapping symptoms. After reading the book about CPTSD by Pete Walker, I finally understood the symptoms I have and their causes. My therapist believes that I do have BPD, while I do not. This doesn't change my feelings about myself or the therapy program. I know that the skills are helping me beyond measure, so I have no issues with being labeled this way or with the group therapy aspect itself. I just don't want to feel obligated to validate emotional vampires 24/7.


JB, wow.  I hope against hope that individuals with BPD can realize substantive benefits to allow them to learn at least rudimentary respect, consideration, decency and empathy for others--without the tendency or inclination to return to the con game.  I wish this for them, for their adult victims, and for their tragically vulnerable children.  You indicate you are placing yourself in the hands of therapist wannabes, amid a preponderance of individuals you KNOW are diagnosed BPD.

Even if you were getting paid a handsome salary I can only wonder why you would  CHOOSE to do this.  I imagine you as a declawed cat in a room full of rudimentarily trained, but otherwise unrestrained and undisciplined dogs.  And your TRAINER believes you to be a dog, too!

Please!  I believe you will fare far better with the folks here at outofthefog than with that lot, and I again wonder why you would consider continuing with that circumstance for even a second more.

Good luck to you, whatever you decide for yourself.  But know that you owe those people NOTHING.

Take care.
A well worn path can be such a comfort... and/or such a rut.

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JusticeBeaver

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Re: Unique situation I guess
« Reply #9 on: February 13, 2017, 08:31:35 PM »
in loco parentis, I laughed out loud at your declawed cat - dog analogy!

I guess it does seem kind of out there for me to choose this, but all I can really say is that I signed up for the therapy because I really needed to learn the skills to be able to handle my life, I had found in my research that DBT is one of the best options for PTSD/CPTSD, and this clinic was the only one I could find nearby/with a sliding scale payment method. I also should mention that I have signed a contract to remain in it, and would be required to pay for any missed sessions. But the main reason I still remain is that I am almost done (about 3 weeks to go until I "graduate") and my therapist is very supportive and has helped me a lot.

Your comment that "my trainer thinks I am one of the dogs." LOL - he believes I have BPD simply because I met 5/9 criteria for BPD. There are 9 symptoms, and to be formally diagnosed you have to meet 5 out of the 9 in any combination. I happen to have 5 symptoms of BPD that are also symptoms of CPTSD. Since CPTSD is not recognized by the DSM at this time (there's a lot of debate in the psychological community about developmental trauma vs acute trauma, if CPTSD 'deserves' it's own diagnosis) finding a DBT groups specific to it was not an option. Maybe some day they will fix the DSM. For now, the exposure to those with PD has been triggering (to the point of panic at times) but it has helped me to find coping mechanisms. Sometimes the solution is NC, though, which is what I'm going to do once I have graduated.
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NoVoice357

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Re: Unique situation I guess
« Reply #10 on: February 15, 2017, 04:42:22 PM »
Hi JusticeBeaver,

I have read your posts and let me tell you I do not think you have a BPD at all.
Quote
have you chosen to avoid PD people like the plague, or do you work on changing your reactions to their behavior?
My first choice is to avoid them (NC). If not possible, then I use Minimal Contact (Medium Chill) or I ignore them.
I do not work on changing my reactions to their behaviour anymore. I do not react to their baitings. Reacting (either positive or negative) is giving the PDs narcissistic supply and this is very exhausting and unhealthy.

It is unconceivable to me that a therapist wants that her client, who has some C-PTSD symptoms and went NC with her NPD mother, to engage in friendships with manipulative BPDs, who do not want to change. He wants you to swim with the sharks.  :sharkbait:

As far as I know, it is not possible to develop healthy friendships with unhealthy controlling manipulative people.  IME, "difficult people" are not always disordered individuals while PDs are always difficult.

If you feel you are being manipulated and lied to by some of them, if they make judgmental comments about what you enjoy doing, if they make a lot of negative comments, if they play the eternal victim, if their childhood/their past/their pain is always worse than everyone else, if they complain about the therapy or other things but do not want to reach a solution or do not want to resolve conflict, then it seems to me as if they were not really interested in healing.

Your past experience is very important. If you believe they are not telling the truth, then trust your intuition and experience.
Healthy friendships develop slowly and are based on mutual respect. You feel respected and your boundaries are accepted too. Iím afraid this seems not to be the case in the group you are attending.

 :hug:

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JusticeBeaver

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Re: Unique situation I guess
« Reply #11 on: February 17, 2017, 06:35:49 PM »
Thanks, NoVoice.

I know it seems callous of my therapist to want me to navigate this whole thing considering my background, but I understand where he is coming from. Healing from PTSD is often about exposure. My ability to recognize unacceptable/abusive/triggering behavior and survive it without allowing it to rule my emotions is a huge test of my time spent in therapy. His whole point is that I will have to deal with people like this at some point in my future, maybe in a work setting where I can't go NC. He wants me to have the tools I need to manage an interaction like that, so he is treating this outside friend group as my "final exam" in therapy. I have been text messaging drafts with him for the past 2 nights because I am going to send them a message that says (in a nice way) "this friendship isn't working out for me, please stop asking me to hang out." I am nervous to do it but I have to rip the bandaid off.
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NoVoice357

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Re: Unique situation I guess
« Reply #12 on: February 18, 2017, 09:23:32 AM »
Quote
His whole point is that I will have to deal with people like this at some point in my future, maybe in a work setting where I can't go NC.
I understand his point now. This makes sense, JusticeBeaver.

I wish I knew what to do in those situations without triggering the PDs so much. Every time I have respectfully communicated my boundaries to them, they have ended up ruining my reputation through malicious gossip and smear campaigns. The price I pay for it is to be ostracized by everyone the PDs know they have been or are in contact with me.
It is partly my fault. My social skills are not so good and it is not easy for me to deal with Cluster B PDs without provoking their rage.

It's nice of your therapist to help you write your message to the group. 
Good luck!  :cheer:

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FeliciaStoppedDancing

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Re: Unique situation I guess
« Reply #13 on: February 18, 2017, 12:21:20 PM »
Hi, all. I've been following this thread with interest.  I don't post much anymore, but for reference, I  grew up in a PD FOO and recently divorced my uNPD husband. I've been visiting OOTF since 2015, and this site, along with therapy, has really helped in my recovery from cPTSD and codependency.

That being said, I started a job last summer that has a toxic work culture.  Cluster Bs dominate the workplace and  while I work on my own recovery, it presents many challenges that I try to view as opportunities to practice new coping skills and boundary setting.

I have a history of people pleasing and feeling obligated to help, appease and placate others. Now I'm using my workplace to practice not JADEing. For me this goes hand in hand with medium chill and the 3 Cs. . . I consciously stop myself from engaging in JADE behaviors at work, which I consider a much safer place to practice my newfound skills - my xH was domineering and aggressive, most of my FOO has disowned me since my divorce (they only saw his charming side, and I went NC instead of trying to convince them of his abuse), and I don't have much of a social circle given my recent move. . . but I'm determined to rebuild my life with new, healthier habits and relationships.

Perhaps you can review the JADE concept in the tool box here, and implement some of the techniques with members of your group? I can attest to the fact that it feels awkward at first to stop trying to explain your opposing viewpoint, defend your decisions to not participate, etc, but the more I do it, the less foreign it feels, and the better I feel about myself.

Also, I'd like to applaud you, Justice Beaver, for not internalizing your therapist's BPD diagnosis. I struggled for several months after leaving my husband, thinking I may have BPD (my ex and FOO spent a lot of time trying to convince me that I'm crazy) , and my T provided me with a lot of reading material showing the overlap between BPD and cPTSD. Therapists hold a position of power, but they're not all-knowing, and I think it's great that you honor your own insight over the misguided opinion of your T.

Big hugs,
FSD
You may write me down in history 
With your bitter, twisted lies, 
You may tread me in the very dirt 
But still, like dust, I'll rise. 
                                 - Maya Angelou

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JusticeBeaver

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Re: Unique situation I guess
« Reply #14 on: February 18, 2017, 03:59:09 PM »
Hi FeliciaStoppedDancing,

   Congratulations on leaving your NPD husband, especially considering the fallout from your PD FOO. You probably already know it, but you are better off that they have taken his side, it makes it easier to go NC when they don't want to talk to you. I know it is invalidating that they only see his charms and not the abuse, but in my experience PD people make excuses for other PD's. My mom defended Joan Crawford after watching Mommy Dearest...  :wacko:

I feel the same way as you do about JADE-ing and people pleasing. Growing up, I had to JADE all the time. If I said one thing to my mother, she took as "evidence" that I was this way or that way. Total black and white thinking. So I spent most of my childhood and teen years defending myself and over-explaining, something I am working on. Having "on the job training" on dealing with cluster-b's sounds so scary, but I bet you feel stronger each time you have a successful interaction.

And thanks for the kudos about my chill regarding his assessment of me. To be honest, he is young, younger than I am, and I doubt very much that he has any personal experience dealing with PD people. All his interactions have been clinical, and I think he believes that they are no different than anyone else, just sick and hurting. I have been raised by one, dated one for 4 years, and currently read message boards where people with BPD express their inner most feelings and urges (like reddit/BPD) and I know deep down that they take pleasure in manipulating and hurting others. I am certainly not one of them, and someone telling me I am doesn't scare me. I think about the tv show six feet under, someone said "It's like if I said you were purple, you would laugh... because you aren't purple. If I say you aren't an artist and you get upset... maybe there's a grain of truth in that." If I had BPD, I would have been hospitalized, or been in therapy at some point before right now, or have a turbulent relationship, or be "unsure of who I am."

I think the biggest problem with the lack of the CPTSD true diagnosis is the fact that it comes from childhood emotional abuse at the hands of a person with BPD or NPD, and the majority of people with NPD are undiagnosed. 1% of the population my ass. I can name 4 that I have met who are undiagnosed. One of the people in my therapy group has comorbid NPD/BPD, but she isn't diagnosed NPD. I feel like I have a spidey sense for PD at this point.
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JusticeBeaver

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Re: Unique situation I guess
« Reply #15 on: February 21, 2017, 10:28:07 AM »
So I sent a neutral message, mostly blaming my own social anxiety and said that the frequency of the messages and requests has become overwhelming to me and I don't want any more requests to hang out because of my issues. The one who was supposed to host the get together said that she is hurt because she spent "time and money" prepping for 2 weeks for us to come over and we canceled on her... Please recall that she canceled on us. She canceled and then said "lets do it next week" and we weren't available, and she is now calling that us "canceling." I said "you canceled the plans. how is that our fault? and how were we supposed to know that if you made new plans that you wouldn't cancel those too?"

It's just too stressful for me to maintain this sort of relationship. The crux of my issues with this group is not about the get together, or even the girl who canceled, it's the constant attention seeking messages and negative commentary. Like they complained about how LITTLE snow we got in the last storm.  :stars: Isn't that a good thing most of the time? I'm just like scratching my head that 1) she made it all about her 2) that she tried to guilt trip us over her 2 week long prep for a "hang out and watch movies" party (a party like that at my house could be prepped for in like 30 mins) 3) that she thinks we canceled the plans

But I guess this is a nature of BPD, and the whole reason I had to make this thread. I don't want to be around people like this at all.

Thanks to everyone who commented and gave advice. I am done with therapy in 2 weeks, and this will all be behind me. What I am taking away are new lessons learned, new perspective about PD's besides NPD, new solidification that I am not one of them, new hope for my recovery from CPTSD and my ability to navigate these sort of interactions without panic.
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xredshoesx

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Re: Unique situation I guess
« Reply #16 on: February 21, 2017, 12:05:40 PM »
glad you stuck to your guns about the interactions that are coming out of the group.  doesn't it feel good to know and see how you are changing as you exit the FOG?

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Bloomie

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Re: Unique situation I guess
« Reply #17 on: February 21, 2017, 12:16:52 PM »
Quote from: JusticeBeaver
Thanks to everyone who commented and gave advice. I am done with therapy in 2 weeks, and this will all be behind me. What I am taking away are new lessons learned, new perspective about PD's besides NPD, new solidification that I am not one of them, new hope for my recovery from CPTSD and my ability to navigate these sort of interactions without panic.

I find this an amazing take away from a difficult dynamic Justice Beaver!  Bravo!!!  :applause:

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JusticeBeaver

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Re: Unique situation I guess
« Reply #18 on: February 21, 2017, 09:08:47 PM »
Thanks xredshoesX and Bloomie! The best part of all this is that I have no guilt!
Hes... it's... a crime fighting beaver.