2017 is the year of yes. yes to forgiveness, favor, renewal, joy

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idleameriican

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2017 is the year of yes. yes to forgiveness, favor, renewal, joy
« on: February 18, 2017, 01:30:51 AM »
Although I still do not have rewarding adult relationships with siblings by faith I know it will come. As for meeting my only true enemy on the day i was born, living well truly is the best revenge. My sister was my abuser and continues to be by refusing to tell the truth. Before i could talk really, she covered up my reaction when placed in her care as that of an attention seeking brat. Later when i could talk, my words fell to the ground because my abuser convinced everyone i was just an attention seeking liar. And so it went for the next 55 years. while that could have caused serious damage, it was kept to a minimum by realizing the skills i was forced to develop at home led me to live a life more extraordinary than my wildest dreams. I was paid well as a chef aboard the yachts of captains of industry all over the world. few people are paid to see the world in a style such as that. The most anyone of my siblings could do to invalidate it was to convince other family members that i was lying. not one of them has ever asked me about 15 years at sea. that makes me smile. i did let them get in my head though. today i n not only have no family of origin, i do not have a family of my own making because i felt shame for not being loved. shame prevented intimacy. now i am 59 and completely alone. i would love to change that. i may start dating as a spinster. i have clear goals for joining this website. in future posts from me i will speak about what an infant can grasp from others. what a toddler can grasp, both will shock you to know how much they get. i want to talk about the child abusers assassination of a child's character  that carries on into perpetuity by those unwilling to accept their own willful ignorance to what was so obvious. this becomes continued abuse; in my case over 50 years of it. i will post about a child decision to think of her abusers as reverse roll models. decision to be impeccable, and more wisdom from a little kid.
my most important thing to share is how i came to be a life long forgiver. many die not having made it to that goal. my story is simple and powerful.  ill talk about non sexual sibling abuse as a source of misery since Cain and Abel, but hardly any real data exists.Last of all, had I not become a Dr. of traditional Chinese medicine, I would have not connected the dots between my moms back to back pregnancies,  and her use of pregnancy to treat crippling postpartum depression and the vicious cycle that trapped her and her last offspring as its result.

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practical

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Re: 2017 is the year of yes. yes to forgiveness, favor, renewal, joy
« Reply #1 on: February 18, 2017, 09:13:35 AM »
Welcome to OOTF!

It seems you were able to thrive despite the abuse, which is great. We have a special board for Dealing with PD Siblings and other Family Members you may want to check out. The focus of OOTF is people with a loved one with a personality disorder, if you are unfamiliar with PDs you can learn about them under the tab at the top of this site. You may also want to look at the Toolbox for your own healing.

Take care!
If Im not towards myself, who is towards myself? And when Im only towards myself, what am I? And if not now, when? (Rabbi Hillel)

"I can forgive, but I cannot afford to forget." (Moglow)

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Spring Butterfly

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Re: 2017 is the year of yes. yes to forgiveness, favor, renewal, joy
« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2017, 09:27:08 AM »
Sounds like you've done awesome things with your life despite abuse. Wishing you peace in your healing journey here.
Every interaction w/ PD persons results in damage. Plan accordingly, make time to heal
Individuation is the key to emotional freedom
It's foolish to expect of others what they have no capacity to give
If others were self observant, introspective, this forum would not exist