Age Appropriate Play?

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Whiteheron

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Age Appropriate Play?
« on: March 20, 2017, 12:59:49 AM »
The way stbx plays with DD made me uncomfortable today. I walked in on him tickling her...and her prone position and the way he was interacting with her just struck me as 'off'. After thinking about it for a bit I think I realize why this is bothering me so much. I view DD10 as a budding young woman. I have already noticed some subtle changes to her body. She is about to enter tweenhood (or has it already started??  :aaauuugh:) and all of the delights that go along with that age range. stbx views and plays with her as a child of around age six who can give him lots of supply.

I'm not sure what to do about this. Any attempt by me to "interfere" with his "good dad" act will not be taken well. I am not able to suggest that this type of play may need to come to an end. Do I just let it go and leave it up to her to tell him when she's done with this type of play? What happens post-divorce and I'm not here to 'referee' or witness any inappropriateness? Right now, I think she is just thrilled he's paying attention to her. One thing I have noticed is when he ramps up the attention, she becomes clingier towards me. Not sure if that's relevant to this or not.

I have already spoken to the kids about it being ok to say no if they're uncomfortable with something. That it's their bodies and they get to chose what's appropriate and what's not - no one else can decide that for them.

Any advice from parents of tween girls? I'm not sure what, if anything, I can do aside from talking with DD. It's in my journal (and here) for now. Thanks.
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notrightinthehead

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Re: Age Appropriate Play?
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2017, 02:55:45 AM »
I know the discomfort and I think you are doing right in not saying anything at this time, just watching. You do not want to create a problem where there is none. You don't want to project your fears and you don't want to taint your daughter's interactiion with her father while she still enjoys them. She will see through him soon enough. When children grow up, they can still play like they did when they were little the one moment, and be like a teenager the next. As long as you keep an eye on her and she knows that she can tell you everything especially things that make her uncomfortable you are doing the right thing.
I can't hate my way into loving myself.