adrenaline surge/high from uBPDm

  • 6 Replies
  • 802 Views
*

bohemian butterfly

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • 684
adrenaline surge/high from uBPDm
« on: May 05, 2017, 12:43:37 PM »
I have a very strange question to ask.

Does anyone here get an almost "high" when dealing with PD individuals?  It's a feeling in the gut that's akin to excitement and anxiety.  It then pulsates through the veins.

Ironically I was going to post this morning about what a relief it's been that my uBPDM has been quiet.....wouldn't ya know, right as I was typing up a post, I get a text message from her.  Queue this anxiety/excitement feeling.

I think that my subconscious mind has linked excitement and anxiety together, perhaps as a survival tactic, perhaps because every exciting thing that happened as a kid was tainted with anxiety so I have intertwined the two?

Some may ask why in the world am I excited to hear from uBPDM?   I'm not excited about her, but I'm excited because I feel like I have some sense of control over her now (but there is still this nervousness)  Like, she wants me to call her and I'm going to respond with "No, now is not a good time.  I will call you sometime next week."    Total empowerment.  Totally stripping her away from what she wants from me.  Am I turning into a control freak?  So many questions when dealing with PDs.............

*

Blueskies

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 375
Re: adrenaline surge/high from uBPDm
« Reply #1 on: May 05, 2017, 01:18:13 PM »
I get a wave of adrenaline and terror when my uBPM contacts me...and even when the phone rings unexpectedly. Sometimes there is an element of excitement, but I think it's part of the hypervigilance aspect of complex PTSD...it's the nervous system revving up for flight or fight. I guess the flight is more fear and the fight involves excitement. We get used to feeling this and it's odd when there is no contact and all is peaceful. It could be something like that...

*

bohemian butterfly

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • 684
Re: adrenaline surge/high from uBPDm
« Reply #2 on: May 05, 2017, 01:21:12 PM »
I get a wave of adrenaline and terror when my uBPM contacts me...and even when the phone rings unexpectedly. Sometimes there is an element of excitement, but I think it's part of the hypervigilance aspect of complex PTSD...it's the nervous system revving up for flight or fight. I guess the flight is more fear and the fight involves excitement. We get used to feeling this and it's odd when there is no contact and all is peaceful. It could be something like that...

You are soooo right!!!!    We get so used to the feeling.  It's almost like an addiction and that sickens me!   Ugh!   Time to reprogram my brain!!!!     uBPDm= toxic (not real) excitement.   Warning!

*

all4peace

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • 8111
Re: adrenaline surge/high from uBPDm
« Reply #3 on: May 05, 2017, 01:28:15 PM »
I think it's cortisol, the body preparing for action. Even though it's an energy, I find it so draining. I agree that you can get used to it, though, and it can feel strange when it's calm for so long. I love the calm, though, but as soon as I comment on the calm that means the PD is about to start acting up again. I don't know if I'm used to their cycles, or my brain waves reached them and got them into action  :stars:

*

bohemian butterfly

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • 684
Re: adrenaline surge/high from uBPDm
« Reply #4 on: May 05, 2017, 01:34:32 PM »
I think it's cortisol, the body preparing for action. Even though it's an energy, I find it so draining. I agree that you can get used to it, though, and it can feel strange when it's calm for so long. I love the calm, though, but as soon as I comment on the calm that means the PD is about to start acting up again. I don't know if I'm used to their cycles, or my brain waves reached them and got them into action  :stars:

Yes and I'm sure that it's totally unhealthy.  I worry about myself and my bodily responses after any interaction with her.  You are so right, I was just about to comment on the peace when she sent me a text.  There is a pattern and she is trying to stay engaged with me.  I tell you what though, this site has been such an asset.  Without you guys, I wouldn't have gotten as far as I've gotten, nor as quickly.

*

all4peace

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • 8111
Re: adrenaline surge/high from uBPDm
« Reply #5 on: May 05, 2017, 01:42:57 PM »
I tell you what though, this site has been such an asset.  Without you guys, I wouldn't have gotten as far as I've gotten, nor as quickly.
OOTF can probably be given full credit for a LOT of people still being sane today!!

*

Blueskies

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 375
Re: adrenaline surge/high from uBPDm
« Reply #6 on: May 05, 2017, 03:45:39 PM »
Can totally relate to feeling calm and happy, and then the next thing I know there is some new drama.