Does she have a PD?

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Does she have a PD?
« on: May 13, 2017, 06:00:07 PM »
Hi everyone,

I'm in a relationship with the love of my life and there's quite a few miles between us. When we are together it's amazing beyond words but it quickly turns bad when I leave. In the space of three days she can go from telling me she's madly in love with me and I'm the best man she's ever met to then questioning whether she wants to be with me because I'm not the man she thought I was and she will insult me by telling me I'm not strong or I lack ambition. She will then start to look for things she can turn into negatives to back this up and completely refuses to acknowledge the good. She humiliates me and makes me feel small and she will go cold and ignore my texts or calls even though she knows this hurts as she won't at that point tell me what I've done wrong. I'm continually trying to please her and do everything to make her feel safe. She intentionally hurts me. During the 'in love' cycle, she says the most amazing things to me and lifts me up so much. She's very self-centred when it comes to us but appears altruistic with friends, of which she has lots of - she's extremely social.

I'll leave it at that for now. There's more I could say. Does this sound like a personality disorder or bipolar?


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Re: Does she have a PD?
« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2017, 11:10:23 PM »
That's a lot to be dealing with, sounds very stressful, and at the very least does not sound like a very healthy relationship. You mention a cycle but rather than an in love cycle I would say it sounds more like this

While no one here is qualified to diagnose there is a quite a bit of information under personality disorders at the top of the Forum for you to review and come to your own conclusions. You might also want to take a look at the toolbox at the top of the Forum especially the topics rules of relationships and making good choices.

People whether personality disordered or not generally don't change unless first they see a problem and then choose to take the necessary steps to mental and emotional Wellness. Does she see there is a problem? Does she acknowledge any responsibility for her behavior? If not then there is little chance things will change in the future and it's time to decide if this is how you wish to live the rest of your life with this person.

Wishing you peace and the healing Journey.
Every interaction w/ PD persons results in damage-plan accordingly, make time to heal
Individuation is one key to emotional freedom
It's foolish to expect of others what they have no capacity to give
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