Some Mother's Day fun, Facebook-style

  • 36 Replies
  • 2747 Views
*

VividImagination

  • Fear is not real; it is a product of the thoughts you create. Danger is very real, but fear is a choice. - After Earth
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • 7491
  • Vivid the Blunt
Some Mother's Day fun, Facebook-style
« on: May 14, 2017, 09:16:04 PM »
So I found one of those "How well do you know your mother?" things on Facebook (right after seeing a pic of my dead NM :barfy:) and figured it would be fun here. Keep it light, though, friends...we want some comic relief, not to bash PDs.  ;D

I'll start.

Daughters... How well do you know your MOM? Copy, paste, and fill-in the blanks.

1. She is sitting in front of the TV, what is she watching? Nancy Grace, the Queen of PD
2. Usually, what dressing does she eat on her salads? You don't get dressing on your salad - you need to lose weight.
 Bare lettuce for you!

3. Name something she hates? Her children. They each have a designated day of the week.
4. What does she like to drink? Coke. It makes the diabetes much worse, much faster.
5. Favorite music? Church hymns, naturally...she is a GOOD CHRISTIAN WOMAN!
6. What is her nickname for You? Cut Me A Switch
7. What is something she loves to do? Complain. Cheese and rice, the complaining...
8. What would she eat every day if she could? French fries and salad. Cause the salad negates anything else.
9. What is her favorite color? Gray, for the misery her children bring her...
10.What would she NEVER wear in public? Nice clothes. People might not feel sorry for her.
11. You bake her a cake. What kind of cake do you bake for her? Don't bother...it will be ALL WRONG.
12. Favorite animal? Dead ones.
13. What could she spend all day doing? See #7
14. Who is her favorite child? The GC, of course.
There are three solutions to every problem: accept it, change it, or leave it. If you cannot accept it, change it. I f you cannot change it, leave it.

Sometimes you're damned if you don't and damned if you do, so damn well do what's best for you.

*

Orangecounty

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 117
Re: Some Mother's Day fun, Facebook-style
« Reply #1 on: May 14, 2017, 09:24:31 PM »
ahahaha! Thanks for a very good laugh. I don't know why I went on Facebook this morning, it was a poor choice, nothing but sweet message from daughters to their normal and loving moms. This holiday makes me feel really awkward. So thanks for bringing some humour into my day.

*

moglow

  • Retired Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • 15788
  • >^..^<
Re: Some Mother's Day fun, Facebook-style
« Reply #2 on: May 14, 2017, 09:31:08 PM »
Daughters... How well do you know your MOM? Copy, paste, and fill-in the blanks.

1. She is sitting in front of the TV, what is she watching?
Mindless comedy
2. Usually, what dressing does she eat on her salads?
I don't remember the last time I saw or heard of her eating a salad.
3. Name something she hates?
Laughter, unless she's laughing at someone.
4. What does she like to drink?
Flavored presweetened tea.
5. Favorite music?
Funeral dirge? I got nothing on this one.
6. What is her nickname for You?
Lucille.
7. What is something she loves to do?
Complain. Gossip.
8. What would she eat every day if she could?
Anything she doesn't have to cook herself.
9. What is her favorite color?
Peach
10.What would she NEVER wear in public?
Pajamas. Mommie dearest must be dressed and coiffed to the twelves.
11. You bake her a cake. What kind of cake do you bake for her?
Red velvet.
12. Favorite animal?
Her stinky barky ill mannered little dogs.
13. What could she spend all day doing?
See #7
14. Who is her favorite child?
Whichever one is absent.
« Last Edit: May 14, 2017, 09:33:45 PM by moglow »
"Expectations are disappointments under construction.  ~ Cap'n Spanky

Stop Stinkin' Thinkin'!

*

moglow

  • Retired Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • 15788
  • >^..^<
Re: Some Mother's Day fun, Facebook-style
« Reply #3 on: May 14, 2017, 09:34:39 PM »
And yeah, facebook has been painful today. Just a few more hours ...
"Expectations are disappointments under construction.  ~ Cap'n Spanky

Stop Stinkin' Thinkin'!

*

flash bug

  • New Member
  • *
  • 19
Re: Some Mother's Day fun, Facebook-style
« Reply #4 on: May 14, 2017, 10:12:35 PM »
LOL! Love this! I could use a laugh about now!

Yes Facebook is bad today and I have avoided it for this reason.

Ok...let's see.....

She is sitting in front of the TV, what is she watching?  Everybody loves Raymond (She identifies with the Marie Barrone  on so many levels)
2. Usually, what dressing does she eat on her salads? Ranch --fat free of course!
3. Name something she hates? Just one??? Well...Everything. Everybody. Or is that two?
4. What does she like to drink? Water , she thinks it is pure, clean and natural just like her.
5. Favorite music? Church hymns, naturally...she is a GOOD CHRISTIAN WOMAN! (copied this one as Yep. Yep and Yep
6. What is her nickname for You? Bug. (I bugged her as a child needing stuff..how dare I? )
7. What is something she loves to do? Argue. Complain.
8. What would she eat every day if she could? Rib eye steak prepared for her by a personal chef.
9. What is her favorite color? Red. (anger)
10.What would she NEVER wear in public? Nothing with a stain, nor a hole , nor missing button and nothing not brand name. Appearances Dawling!!!
11. You bake her a cake. What kind of cake do you bake for her? Don't bother...it will be ALL WRONG. (again copied as this is her to a T)
12. Favorite animal? Uhm. None. The make messes and need stuff done for them.
13. What could she spend all day doing? See #7
14. Who is her favorite child? Depends on the day and who she decided to favor me or brother.

*

VividImagination

  • Fear is not real; it is a product of the thoughts you create. Danger is very real, but fear is a choice. - After Earth
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • 7491
  • Vivid the Blunt
Re: Some Mother's Day fun, Facebook-style
« Reply #5 on: May 14, 2017, 10:13:56 PM »
So how totally awkward but honest would it be if I posted this version on Facebook? It would be total crickets, and anger from the couple of sibs who like to pretend, but there would be silent head nodding from all who knew her.
There are three solutions to every problem: accept it, change it, or leave it. If you cannot accept it, change it. I f you cannot change it, leave it.

Sometimes you're damned if you don't and damned if you do, so damn well do what's best for you.

*

VeryUncertain

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 230
Re: Some Mother's Day fun, Facebook-style
« Reply #6 on: May 14, 2017, 10:14:32 PM »
LOL.  How well do you know your MOM? Copy, paste, and fill-in the blanks.

1. She is sitting in front of the TV, what is she watching? The News.  "I need to know what's happening, darling!" 
2. Usually, what dressing does she eat on her salads? "Oil and vinegar, darling.  The bottled stuff is awful.  Could you mix it in for me?"
3. Name something she hates? She doesn't hate.  We are hateful.
4. What does she like to drink? Vodka on the rocks.  Absolute Vodka! And mixed nuts.  "If there aren't any, could you be a dear and run get some?"
5. Favorite music? Mozart, of course, or some of that nice pop for the gym.
6. What is her nickname for You? Darling.
7. What is something she loves to do? Complain. Smoke. Drink vodka.
8. What would she eat every day if she could? "Whatever you make is fine dear, but let's go out for some sushi?" (I'm paying, of course)
9. What is her favorite color? Black.
10.What would she NEVER wear in public? No limits, so a bikini over a pot belly with a big c-scar stands out in my memory.
11. You bake her a cake. What kind of cake do you bake for her? Sorry not happening.
12. Favorite animal? Animals are dirty! and Noisy!
13. What could she spend all day doing? See #7
[edit]
14. Who is her favorite child? The other one / You Darling. whichever will get her what she wants.
« Last Edit: May 14, 2017, 10:30:19 PM by VeryUncertain »

*

Fiasco

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • 703
Re: Some Mother's Day fun, Facebook-style
« Reply #7 on: May 14, 2017, 10:38:03 PM »
Very uncertain, is your mom Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous? Lol

Flash bug, mine calls me bug too. If I find out it's for the same reason I'm going to freak out. Ugh.

*

stasia

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • 756
Re: Some Mother's Day fun, Facebook-style
« Reply #8 on: May 14, 2017, 10:43:47 PM »
OMG. This is GENIUS. I am going to answer this in my mother's voice.

1. She is sitting in front of the TV, what is she watching? "I don't have time to watch TV, I have SO much to do and I am So tired I can't stay awake through any of my favorite programs. Also, my cable is too expensive so I need you to research how I can drop cable, though I also can't afford Internet...."
2. Usually, what dressing does she eat on her salads? "Salad dressing is full of chemicals and preservatives that give you cancer."
3. Name something she hates? "My neighbors are all {fill in barrage of profanity and insults here}!"
4. What does she like to drink? "Coffee. SO much coffee. I'm SO exhausted and have SO much to do, this is the only way I can keep going."
5. Favorite music? "I don't have time to listen to music, but the cats like it when I put the classical radio station on. It soothes them."
6. What is her nickname for You? "I'm too busy to think of a nickname for you. But these are the nicknames that I've given each of the 2 zillion cats in my yard:...."
7. What is something she loves to do? "It doesn't matter because I don't get to spend time on anything I like to do, all I do is work."
8. What would she eat every day if she could? "Three meals a day, but you know, I'm spending so much money on cat food that I've had to cut back to 2 meals a day for me...."
9. What is her favorite color? "Green. The color of money. Which I don't have any of - do you know that all I get is Social Security?!"
10.What would she NEVER wear in public? "Makeup or a nice haircut. Who in hell do these women think they are, getting all dolled up to just go to the store?"
11. You bake her a cake. What kind of cake do you bake for her? "Any kind of cake is fine, honey. But, you know, my oven hasn't worked in 10 years so *I* can't ever bake for myself..."
12. Favorite animal? "Every single one of the 10 gazillion cats in my house and my yard."
13. What could she spend all day doing? "All I do all day every day is work. I don't ever get to enjoy myself."
14. Who is her favorite child? "Probably the brown tortie momma cat who lives in my house."

That was fun! Many of these are things she has actually said to me many times!

*

VividImagination

  • Fear is not real; it is a product of the thoughts you create. Danger is very real, but fear is a choice. - After Earth
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • 7491
  • Vivid the Blunt
Re: Some Mother's Day fun, Facebook-style
« Reply #9 on: May 14, 2017, 11:10:15 PM »
Very uncertain, is your mom Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous? Lol


OMG - Pats!!!!!

I tell you what, the Brits have the market cornered on making fun of PDs.
There are three solutions to every problem: accept it, change it, or leave it. If you cannot accept it, change it. I f you cannot change it, leave it.

Sometimes you're damned if you don't and damned if you do, so damn well do what's best for you.

*

SmolderingDragon

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 386
Re: Some Mother's Day fun, Facebook-style
« Reply #10 on: May 14, 2017, 11:17:52 PM »
VeryUncertain, your M sounds like Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous!  LOL  :D
"Some people bring joy wherever they go, and some people bring joy whenever they go." -- Mark Twain

*

SmolderingDragon

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 386
Re: Some Mother's Day fun, Facebook-style
« Reply #11 on: May 14, 2017, 11:19:51 PM »
Very uncertain, is your mom Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous? Lol


OMG - Pats!!!!!

I tell you what, the Brits have the market cornered on making fun of PDs.

:rofl:  Y'all beat me to it!  LMAO
"Some people bring joy wherever they go, and some people bring joy whenever they go." -- Mark Twain

*

Fiasco

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • 703
Re: Some Mother's Day fun, Facebook-style
« Reply #12 on: May 15, 2017, 02:08:08 AM »
 There's probably some deep, psychological reason we all love AbFab. But let's just enjoy it  ;)

By the way, Mommie Dearest just started on TV. Totally going to watch for a while. I think there are more of us than we think!

*

KeepingMyBlue

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 157
Re: Some Mother's Day fun, Facebook-style
« Reply #13 on: May 15, 2017, 02:36:54 AM »
This could be fun!

She is sitting in front of the TV, what is she watching?  Dancing with the Stars, for the drama
2. Usually, what dressing does she eat on her salads? Something gourmet you've never heard of and certainly could never make without a tutoring session from her making it so simple
3. Name something she hates.  Criticism against her
4. What does she like to drink? Water and coffee, all hours, unpolluted by cream or sugar, made by whoever is there, no matter how badly I made it
5. Favorite music? Church hymns or metal, not much in between
6. What is her nickname for You? Doll. That's all I am to her too. A dress up doll until I had the nerve to think my own thoughts. then a tool to do her chores
7. What is something she loves to do? Criticise
8. What would she eat every day if she could? Something so gourmet even the Foid Network doesn't know about it
9. What is her favorite color? Barbie Pink
10.What would she NEVER wear in public? Actually, I've seen her go out in about everything. She's humble in public.
11. You bake her a cake. What kind of cake do you bake for her? Don't bother...it will be ALL WRONG. (again copied as this is her to a T) yep, copied. food gets a whole other level of criticism
12. Favorite animal? ferrets, they stay little and cute forever
13. What could she spend all day doing? See #7, eating, criticizing, crying for sympathy, manipulating
14. Who is her favorite child? she has run out of kids to favor and moved on to nieces to groom

*

KeepingMyBlue

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 157
Re: Some Mother's Day fun, Facebook-style
« Reply #14 on: May 15, 2017, 02:40:15 AM »
okay, stasia, I think you got my mom down better than I did, omg

*

WomanInterrupted

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • 3919
  • "They can't eat you" - Greg Proops
Re: Some Mother's Day fun, Facebook-style
« Reply #15 on: May 15, 2017, 03:20:30 AM »
Ooooh, this is fun!

1. She is sitting in front of the TV, what is she watching? Everybody Loves Raymond, House MD, Downton Abbey (VERY surprising), Mother Angelica, Top Gear (seriously!), Keeping Up With the Kardashians, and Dr. Oz, who she claimed I told her to watch - and I never did.

I suggested she watch, "Oz and James Drink to Britain" - which was airing on BBC America and featured Captain Slow.

BIG difference!  Instead of being entertained by two men who fundamentally don't get along, she watched a TV doctor of questionable repute.

Yeah...that figures.  :roll:   :wacko:
   
2. Usually, what dressing does she eat on her salads?  Salad!?  Are you kidding!?  Her insides would spontaneously combust!  Lettuce gives her GAS; chick peas give her diarrhea; onions send her hiatal hernia into a meltdown, and chewing all those disgusting crunchy things HURTS - I'll just stick to these healthy  Teddy Grahams instead, then have a cigarette.

3. Name something she hates? In no particular order, unNPD Ray, me, my appearance, my weight, my height, the fact that I wear glasses, the fact that I can read above a 3rd grade level,  DH, our pets, her neighbors, Mrs. Busybody from down the street who thinks she's better than everybody else, celebrities - because they weren't HER, the weather, her health (like she'd actually DO anything about it!), cooking, cleaning, housework of any sort (somebody should be doing all that FOR her, anyway, hint hint), bees, dogs, neighbors who move away with no forwarding addy (wonder why?), anybody who was doing well or happy with their lives, happy couples, people who CONSTANTLY COMPLAIN (I can't even...   :rofl:) other people's ill-begotten and misbehaving brats, RACISTS - while saying racist things, HOMOPHOBES - while making homophobic comments, Republicans, people who are pro-choice (yeah, your opinion really matters, Didi), women who get men in trouble by wearing slutty outfits and expecting men not to look (slutty outfit = not a muumuu),  people who didn't treat her like The Special Little Snowflake she knew she was, flowers, giving gifts (she deserves to KEEP it!), receiving gifts (they're always WRONG!), mold (it could KIIIIIIIIILL HER!!!!!!!), useless doctors, snotty nurses, condescending wait staff, bank tellers and store clerks, and people who are wasteful and throw out things that really aren't garbage - they can be used for her CRAFTS and should be offered to her first!   :Idunno:

I think it would have been shorter to say, "Anything that wasn't unBPD Didi or her hoard."
   :doh:

4. What does she like to drink? Decaffeinated  coffee and all that water to choke down all those pills they kept shoveling at her for her 10,000 maladies.

5. Favorite music? It used to be Engelbert Humperdinck and Tom Jones, until she got MAD at them for not being perfect and painted them black, then it was MC Hammer (I shit you not), and finally it was Andrea Bocelli, for whatever reason.

6. What is her nickname for You? Clair-Bear (not my name, no worries!), you little son-of-a-bitch, Judas Priest (I am an entire rock band?  :bigwink:), goddammit, you spoiled little brat; YES, MOTHER!!!!!!

7. What is something she loves to do? Complain.  Criticize.  Gossip.  Schadenfreud.

8. What would she eat every day if she could? Bacon, watermelon rind pickles, and every junk food known to man, which I think I actually found in her house in *multiples.*  (Eat a handful, open a new box, put it on the list again.)

9. What is her favorite color? Royal Purple, natch! 

10.What would she NEVER wear in public? Subdued colors.  The louder and more outrageous the print/color - the better.   Anything *tasteful.*   :ninja:

11. You bake her a cake. What kind of cake do you bake for her? With MY dietary restrictions!?  You KNOW I can't eat dairy or gluten!  Does it have nuts?  Don't you think about my diverticulitis!?  And that FROSTING?  Doesn't my blood sugar mean ANYTHING to you!?  *Bursts into fake, waify "tears"*, while mewling, "You know all I wanted was a cupcake..."

Um...correct me if I'm wrong - and I don't think I am - but cupcakes are made of *the same things as cakes.* 

Yes - she could eat dairy and gluten.  She just wanted to be included in the group who has REAL problems with those foods, to make herself feel more special and waify. 


12. Favorite animal? Any pet of ours who died, but mostly Punkin, who was their cat, because on the way from Punkin's service at the pet cemetery (of COURSE there's a pet cemetery - and a very expensive headstone), she saw a red 1985 Trans-Am and KNEW it was a sign - PUNKIN wanted her to have that car.     :abduct:

13. What could she spend all day doing? See #7, smoking, shopping by phone out of a mountain of mail-order catalogs, cutting her name off mail to prevent "identity theft", making cards for the hoarded items in thousands upon thousands of plastic storage boxes, ordering me to look up odd medical things on Dr. Internet, while convincing herself she had ALL of them - and only I could cure her, if I really TRIED.   :snort:

14. Who is her favorite child? Herself, of course!

I always saw unBPD Didi as a failed version of Edina.   ;D
« Last Edit: May 15, 2017, 03:22:21 AM by WomanInterrupted »

*

VeryUncertain

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 230
Re: Some Mother's Day fun, Facebook-style
« Reply #16 on: May 15, 2017, 04:16:24 PM »
Quote
is your mom Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous?


I'd never seen that.  I watched an episode on Amazon.  Funny.  I'd say Patsy has a much higher EQ.

*

Fiasco

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • 703
Re: Some Mother's Day fun, Facebook-style
« Reply #17 on: May 15, 2017, 05:16:33 PM »
Patsy and Edina are loveable messes, they'd be a real step up for me, mom wise.

*

SmolderingDragon

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 386
Re: Some Mother's Day fun, Facebook-style
« Reply #18 on: May 15, 2017, 05:37:21 PM »
Patsy and Edina are loveable messes, they'd be a real step up for me, mom wise.

 :yeahthat:  Unfortunately for me, my mom is more like the Andy character (Lou & Andy) from Little Britain.   :aaauuugh:
"Some people bring joy wherever they go, and some people bring joy whenever they go." -- Mark Twain

*

raindrop

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • 630
Re: Some Mother's Day fun, Facebook-style
« Reply #19 on: May 15, 2017, 09:34:50 PM »
Hehe fun! I meant to do this on Sunday but I didn't get around to it.

1. She is sitting in front of the TV, what is she watching? The Big Bang Theory, commenting on how thin and pretty Penny is.
   
2. Usually, what dressing does she eat on her salads?  Lots of ranch or other oily, creamy dressing but portions out enDad's so he doesn't get any fatter than he already is.

3. Name something she hates? my husband and independent thought  

4. What does she like to drink? alcohol of any kind, no matter who it belongs to or whether or not she's currently driving a car

5. Favorite music? anything high class

6. What is her nickname for You? "my little friend"  :barfy:

8. What would she eat every day if she could? probs bread and butter and lots of cream and donuts and chocolate.
9. What is her favorite color? red? I actually do not know the answer to this 

10.What would she NEVER wear in public?dunno, she's worn some weird stuff.    

11. You bake her a cake. What kind of cake do you bake for her?
chocolate 


12. Favorite animal? Her horse and her pony, that she loves to remind me she bought for her grandkids that I inconveniently cannot have.   

13. What could she spend all day doing? Sending ragey emails (and she has!)

14. Who is her favorite child? Me, but only when people say I look like her and I do everything she says  :evil2:


"Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
"Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
Piglet was comforted by this.
- A.A. Milne.