Hi everyone

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Hi everyone
« on: May 16, 2017, 08:32:36 PM »
I have just found this website, I have been reading about narcissistic personality disorder and abusive relationships for maybe six months now and some of my partner's behaviors are finally beginning to make sense. Before that I was beginning to wonder if I was losing my mind. I couldn't understand how somebody could go from loving me with all his heart to freezing me out completely. I'm not a saint, I may have said something hurt me, I may have challenged him on a double standard, I may have withdrawn a little to take some time for myself or whatever. I don't live with him. It's been a four year relationship, big breaks where he's refused to talk to me unless I admitted something was all my fault, even though I didn't believe it was so would not admit that. There have been rages where I felt my whole character was called into question. Normally I get on well with most people, have good, long lasting friendships, etc. I was in a very vulnerable place when I met this man, empty nest, bereaved, just lost and I suppose looking for someone to be close to. It's now at the stage where I want to leave, the last argument, he said to me, as he always says when we row, there is someone else out there for both of us. I feel he has just learned to play on my fears and manipulate me, he has always used other women as a threat. He is an alcoholic, not drinking at the moment. I used to think it was just alcoholism, but now I think it's more than that. There are serious abuse issues in his past and he has been very violent, but not towards women as far as I know. Anyway I finished the relationship 2 days ago as I have just had enough, but I have never been able to stay away before. I would like this to be the time I do.


Menopause Barbie

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Re: Hi everyone
« Reply #1 on: May 16, 2017, 11:52:41 PM »
Welcome, Sorcha, and congratulations on taking big steps toward the future you deserve!  :bighug: As I was reading your post, I wasn't expecting the surprise ending that you had left him.  :like:  So many people join here first, and require reassurance that it is OK to take care of themselves by leaving the narcissist in their lives, whether a parent, spouse, whomever. But you did the hardest part all on your own!  Now you can come here and HEAL, because you have identified and protected yourself from the person who had been the source of your pain. It is like you fast-forwarded your healing and I am so impressed with your strength! You will only grow stronger here, among those who understand. I am glad you found us  :heythere: