People Expecting Me to Be Their Therapist

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Re: People Expecting Me to Be Their Therapist
« Reply #20 on: August 23, 2018, 09:45:00 AM »
Oh gosh, absolutely!

Family & friends have dumped their negative unhappy selv on my doorstep once too many times. At first I was always there to listen, offer support & help where I could. But then over the years I realised a pattern of behaviour; I would only hear from them when their was some form of crisis going on in their lives and then once the life was sucked out of me from being their sounding board and off load platform, they’d leave me well alone, deflated and them energised. These same people were never about to reciprocate support etc whenever I hit my own personal issues. I became resilient over time in handling my own problems as a result. I distanced myself and wasn’t so freely available for them to call & dump and yes, they found others who were “really good, caring and very helpful” to them when they needed them!  :sadno:

Be proud that you recognised her behaviour for what it was. Your life and wellbeing will be the richer for it. The tool box is priceless. Its a life long process of instilling boundaries and recognising manipulative behaviour but the tools work!



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Re: People Expecting Me to Be Their Therapist
« Reply #21 on: August 23, 2018, 06:27:27 PM »
Kudos for blocking her.  You know, it amazes me how so many of these people "won't take no for an answer."  I was raised to be polite, no matter what, but a polite answer does not seem to work with PDs.  (Just realized how ironic it is that my PD parents raised me to be polite, but that was "in public."  They behaved differently at home...)   

I have to say that I laughed when I read "enufbs's" comments about working at becoming a bad listener!   I'm going to work at that.   In your situation, it sounds as if you DID try to keep your distance, but that didn't stop her.   

Glad you decided not to be this woman's therapist!   Good for you!