First contact with ex in over a year at A&E with son

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First contact with ex in over a year at A&E with son
« on: June 23, 2017, 08:26:34 AM »
A sharing of an experience ........

My ex has refused to discuss in person or via telephone topics relating to our children, preferring to record issues in a communications book that accompanies the children.

During our separation and divorce proceedings she made false claims to Police, Social Workers, NSPCC and Social Workers trying to prevent me having any contact with our children.  Authorities saw through it and I have a court order in place so that I have regular overnight contact.

This week there was a note in "the book" expressing some concern over scuffs and grazes on my youngest.  I have noticed these over a number of weeks.  He is an active and physical boy and I consider them to be normal "wear and tear" and he has said the same to me when I asked.  Based on her previous attempts and allegations to prevent contact I was however concerned that this could be the start of another campaign.  I put a carefully worded response in "the book".

Fortunately and most importantly my son is fine but irony is a strange thing, and whilst not overtly religious, I do wonder about "things" sometimes.  The following explains why..............

My ex's telephone number flashed up on my mobile phone last night as calling me........unprecedented and instantly anxiety and Adrenalin surged through me.  Our youngest had been playing football and had a suspected fractured leg.  I said that I would meet them at the A&E department.
Fracture was confirmed and son was brave and strong.

A difficult evening as first contact with ex in over a year Ė was ok, some pleasant conversation, but a few barbed comments and provocative comments that I didnít respond to. Old "Jekyll and Hyde" was still there.   Advice on the forums certainly helped.

Emotionally quite tough as this was my wife of 11 years and despite all the nastiness towards me (and wider family) over the last 18 months I saw her as both vulnerable and dangerous at the same time.  That somewhat messes with how you act; combination of caution and compassion.  Very hard.

Ironic in that she had written in the book that she was concerned that son had a few scraps on him and possibly trying to set the scene for a repeat involvement of Social Workers, yet he breaks his leg with her!  Accidents happen but glad it was on her watch and not on mine.

Positives: Son is fine.  At least it demonstrates that when there is a significant problem I was informed and involved, that has got to be a good thing, albeit, I put such wording into the court order.

As a footnote - I'm looking after a friends dog whilst he is away on a business trip.  We were at the hospital until the early hours and the dog was alone for longer than I would have wanted.  I was fully expecting to find a large puddle!  Fortunately he was able to cross his legs!



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Re: First contact with ex in over a year at A&E with son
« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2017, 03:24:16 PM »
Oh, sorry to hear about your son's leg!
I find that in emergency situations and when there are authority figures around, PDs will often behave absolutely civil and as how they should. I am glad all was ok and that the dog didn't leave you any surprises...
Pray for the dead and fight like hell for the living.
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When we have the courage to do what we need to do, we unleash mighty forces that come to our aid.