Thanks for the reminder. It's good (?) to see your words and experience in writing. I've been no contact for a year and at points, especially around birthdays and holidays, wondered if it would be bad to send a note or give a call. But then I think of the way they make me feel, and I start feeling the dread. So, no. I'm good. I love how you used the word boring. Got me thinking, the same old tactics to gaslight, manipulate and put you in the FOG are quite boring. It would be much more interesting if something different happened. But alas, not in my case. Good for you for recognizing that.
Your comment about your mother salavating for your downfall also hit close to home. Before I came Out of the FOG I didn't realize how jealous my mother was: Of me, of the relationships I had with other women, of my experiences, of the very inappropriate way my NPD father treated me (like another wife) and triangulated our relationship. My mother always "needed" me, but often she put me in a role that would make her look good, and make me serve her in some way. At times, literally. She had an informal catering company that I would often cook and serve her and her church friends. Looking back she would take on a job, buy the food, and then tell me what I needed to do. I didn't have a choice. This went on throughout middle school, hightschool, and I finally started to say no in college. She didn't like that at all. For the longest time I thought I was "helping", and I'd have done most anything to have my mother notice and appreciate me at that time, but she never did.
Anyway, I'm sorry it was so draining. I can only imagine.