How my mother responds to my broken wrist.

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How my mother responds to my broken wrist.
« on: August 22, 2017, 12:11:42 AM »
Last Friday, I slipped, I fell, I broke my right wrist in the process.  I am typing this with one hand, which is a lot harder than it sounds.

Today, my mother decides to call me out of the blue because she saw a photo of me wearing a cast on Facebook.  But what was she concerned about?

She decided to rip into me about the work days I will be missing over this and about how I am doing lots of damage to my place of employment because my injury put me out of commission for a while.

I point out to her that she is playing a cheap guilt trip.  She responds that she is offended that I would think that just because she is telling me what everybody else thinks.

Heh.  This used to piss me off.  Now I look at her empty words and I see them for what they always were.



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Re: How my mother responds to my broken wrist.
« Reply #1 on: August 22, 2017, 01:48:37 AM »
Hi Len - sorry to hear about the wrist!  I hope it heals on schedule and without any problems.   :)

And yes, one-handed typing isn't fun.  One handed *everything* is so much more difficult than it needs to be!   

Personal favorite:  trying to wash and condition long hair in the shower, while not only keeping a hand elevated, but dry inside a plastic bag held on by a large, thick rubber band.  (The bag *always* leaks.  :doh:)

I think your mom missed a few people when she checked with "everybody."  I know she didn't contact me.  I'm sure others here will confirm she didn't speak with them, either.   :bigwink:

My first thought was, "Ow!  That sucks!"

And not, "Oh, Len's going to be in so much trouble at work."   :roll:

I'm glad you've got her number, so to speak, and don't let this stuff bother you - she sounds a lot like unBPD Didi - without a single cell of empathy in her entire body.

One time, I had an abscessed tooth pulled and it was *brutal.*  The dentist told me I'd probably look and feel like I got kicked in the face by a horse for a few days - and he wasn't kidding!   That sucker just didn't want to come out - but had to.

My jaw was swollen, puffy and red - but the pain was bearable, so I wound up taking Didi to the chiropractor the next day, on schedule, and wished I hadn't.   :roll:

My "loving mother" looked at me and smirked, "Ooooh, everybody is gonna wonder what you did to me that I had to do that to you!"

Thanks, "mom."   :???:

The truth is, nobody noticed - or acted like they didn't really notice - until *she kept pointing it out and joking that no, she wasn't responsible, ha ha ha.*

The staff at the doc's office kept giving her strange looks because she was so *delighted* - until I smiled and said, "You know, after all this time, I can still dress her up, but I can't take her anywhere."

People laughed and she was insulted, which resulted in DEAD SILENCE on the way home.   :yahoo:

Once you realize how empty their words are, they become powerless and have no meaning.

And it feels really good to let all of that go, doesn't it?   :)




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Re: How my mother responds to my broken wrist.
« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2017, 06:34:59 AM »
Whoa! 'What everybody else thinks'?! What, is she psychic? It's what she thinks projected on to 'everybody else'. My uBPM is always concerned with what everybody else thinks too and how things appear. It's like I'm a constant source of embarassment and shame.

So sorry about your wrist! Look after yourself. You are obviously not going to get any empathy from your M...I'd give her a wide berth while you are recovering!



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Re: How my mother responds to my broken wrist.
« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2017, 09:22:58 AM »
It sounds like your mother searches for any reason to bully and emotionally abuse you, and she projects that on others. Why is she so concerned over how your workplace is affected? Again, its like she has to rub in your face that you are dead last to everyone in the world, a huge inconvenience to everyone. It's brainwashing to keep you in place.

"This is why I don't share personal information with you. If you can't say anything nice or supportive, don't contact me."

My own NM did this to a much lesser degree...the severe criticism and everyone says. In the months before I went NC I finally got brave enough to say a version of that, but " Let me know when 'everyone' has something positive to say."
There are three solutions to every problem: accept it, change it, or leave it. If you cannot accept it, change it. I f you cannot change it, leave it.

Sometimes you're damned if you don't and damned if you do, so damn well do what's best for you.



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Re: How my mother responds to my broken wrist.
« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2017, 02:36:49 PM »
Either my parents would outright deny I was injured or sick, which was baffling, or they would do what your mom does, play it down and lecture me on its "impact" on important things. The important things were never my feelings, health, or recovery, by the way. Or they would get angry that i was hurt or sick. Like it was me purposely offending them.  Either way, it sucks, they suck, take care of yourself, and keep on doing what you've been doing in dealing with her.

Best wishes and I hope it mends well!