Anxious about new study topic

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Levi10

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Anxious about new study topic
« on: August 28, 2017, 11:50:55 AM »
Just wondering if anybody else has been in this situation.  Our small group, or Sunday school class, is starting a study on a book about healthy marriage.  One would think that this would be a good thing and I was actually kind of excited to start it.  Yesterday was our first meeting on it and it hit me like a ton of bricks.  Nobody in our group knows my wife like I do.  Nobody knows the things that go on at home.  In public she puts on such a front that everybody thinks we have the perfect marriage.  What I'm getting at is I cannot give any honest input to this group.  Anything I say will either be a lie or describing our marriage about 7-8 years ago.  On top of all of that, anything I say is going to be logged in her brain to bring up and twist around into an interrogation at bed time, her favorite time to harass me.  I'm pretty quiet anyway, but I usually like to participate as much as I can bring myself to in our group discussions.  We have never had a personal topic such as this one before though.  I usually get yelled at if I don't say anything at all, so giving no input for this whole study isn't really an option for me.

I have not looked at the book yet, other than reading the back cover of somebody else's.  From that it actually looks like a pretty good book, not that I'll be allowed to read it.  I'm terrified that its going to be the typical thing though.  She will pick out every part where she feels I fall short and beat me with it for days.  I hold some hope that maybe something contained in the book will make something go off in her head, but usually things like that are very short lived. 

Any input is appreciated.  I've been really anxious about this since we sat down yesterday to talk about it.

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142757

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Re: Anxious about new study topic
« Reply #1 on: August 28, 2017, 03:08:50 PM »
Are you expected to comment on your marriage or the book? You can bring out something you read w/o it having to be a testimony of some sort.
"Somedays you just can't get rid of a bomb."

Adam West (Batman)
9/19/28 - 6/10/17

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PinkDress

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Re: Anxious about new study topic
« Reply #2 on: August 28, 2017, 04:12:57 PM »
Levi,

I feel for you in this situation. While my own H isn't as bad as some of the others discussed here, I can relate this to how my nFIL treats my Hs step mom. I can put her in this situation because she has told me how nFIL berates her for not being a proverbs 31 woman and tells her she's "very divorcable" because she doesn't meet his standard. She actually does buck his system a LOT but nFIL has blasted through two marriages prior to this one, marriages with two submissive wives and became emotionally abusive with them, so it's like no matter what he isn't satisfied - PDs never are, it's who they are. Doesn't matter how great you are. So I truly find no fault in Hs step moms "rebellious" ways lol, she's just letting nFIL know he isn't going to throw her around as he has his other wives.

In your situation, can you examine your self and find truly destructive/hurtful patterns? I don't say this to say it's fair what you're going through, or with a victim blaming attitude, I say this because even in my situation with my H I've had to own where I can improve. (Not yelling, bringing up things I know he'll deny, etc) Ultimatley try to use this study as a way to make yourself more right with God, even in unfair conditions with your PD W. I try really hard to be a great wife, at least in Gods eyes if H doesn't care.

As for her possibly pointing out your flaws, maybe you can calmly explain that she isn't the Holy Spirit and it isn't her job. Even in my marriage I've had to learn that too, ultimately I pray for God to work on my H and He does!

Hope this helps! 
« Last Edit: August 28, 2017, 04:16:12 PM by PinkDress »
"In the long run, the sharpest weapon of all is a kind and gentle spirit." Anne Frank

"God sees people as His own treasures, so be careful how you treat them."

"No one warns you about the amount of mourning in growth."

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Levi10

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Re: Anxious about new study topic
« Reply #3 on: August 28, 2017, 07:20:40 PM »
142757:  Usually we try to relate the book to our own lives and compare what the author is writing to how we live.  At least in the past that was the format.  Last year we did a book on raising kids in the church and that's how it went. 

PinkDress:  I'm still learning so much about PD and the effects that living with PDw has had on myself.  I know that there are learned behaviors that I have now and did not originally have that do not help our situation.  Depending on what part of the good/bad cycle she is on I can work on my own issues.  I like your idea of using the study to work on myself and become closer to God.

I am really struggling the last few days with her.  She is in one of those times where every little thing sets her off and its all my fault.  I don't even know how to put into words how I feel.  The best I can describe it is that I'm scared of her.  Not scared that she will physically hurt me, but scared of the words.  I know others on here have it way worse than me and I feel bad complaining, but my mind is about at a breaking point right now.  Like every time she begins to speak to me my defenses go up until I can tell if she is going off on me or if its a normal conversation.  To make things worse, we can carry on a normal conversation for 5 minutes and without a pause she flips the switch.  That kind of stuff just keeps me on edge even more, even when the conversation is seemingly normal. 

I just re-read the paragraph above, and that is the root of my issues.  I know that I don't show a lot of emotion, I never did.  But now I'm so numb inside and scared to even speak whats on my mind that I come across to her as not caring.  Sometimes I wonder if that is true or not.  I've made an effort in the recent past to have the courage to disagree with her and actually tell her how I felt about something and I've yet to live it down.  I tried explaining that how she is acting is why I don't tell her what I'm thinking and everybody can guess how that went over.  It's not how I want to live and I want things to get better, but right now I feel like I'm paralyzed with fear.




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142757

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Re: Anxious about new study topic
« Reply #4 on: August 29, 2017, 12:04:49 PM »

I am really struggling the last few days with her.  She is in one of those times where every little thing sets her off and its all my fault.  I don't even know how to put into words how I feel.  The best I can describe it is that I'm scared of her.  Not scared that she will physically hurt me, but scared of the words.  I know others on here have it way worse than me and I feel bad complaining, but my mind is about at a breaking point right now.  Like every time she begins to speak to me my defenses go up until I can tell if she is going off on me or if its a normal conversation.  To make things worse, we can carry on a normal conversation for 5 minutes and without a pause she flips the switch.  That kind of stuff just keeps me on edge even more, even when the conversation is seemingly normal. 

I just re-read the paragraph above, and that is the root of my issues.  I know that I don't show a lot of emotion, I never did.  But now I'm so numb inside and scared to even speak whats on my mind that I come across to her as not caring.  Sometimes I wonder if that is true or not.  I've made an effort in the recent past to have the courage to disagree with her and actually tell her how I felt about something and I've yet to live it down.  I tried explaining that how she is acting is why I don't tell her what I'm thinking and everybody can guess how that went over.  It's not how I want to live and I want things to get better, but right now I feel like I'm paralyzed with fear.

I felt the same way when I was married. A big advantage you have over me is that you know she has a PD. When I was married, I'd never heard of PD's. I didn't realize what she had until a day or 2 after I left.

But since you now know, you know now not to take her words so seriously. You know she isn't correct. So you can start to learn to brush her rants off your shoulder. You are not at fault for being hesitant to engage. This is a by product of her behavior. PD's don't understand that they can't treat people badly and expect others not to be affected. I'm not saying the words shouldn't hurt now. They still will. But the sting can lessen. And you now know you aren't the stimulus for her attitude. So you can stop walking on eggshells. Again, you aren't at fault. No need to 2nd guess your choices. She will be upset regardless of what you do. So just make the best decision you can & be secure in it.

(Proverbs 17:14)  "Beginning a fight is like opening a floodgate; Before the quarrel breaks out, take your leave."

(Proverbs 20:3) "It is honorable for a man to refrain from a dispute, But every fool will become embroiled in it."

(Ecclesiastes 7:9)  "Do not be quick to take offense, for the taking of offense lodges in the bosom of fools."

(1 Peter 2:21-23) "In fact, to this course you were called, because even Christ suffered for you, leaving a model for you to follow his steps closely.  He committed no sin, nor was deception found in his mouth.  When he was being insulted, he did not insult in return. When he was suffering, he did not threaten, but he entrusted himself to the One who judges righteously. "

And here is one we discussed last week in my congregation.......

(Ezekiel 35:10-13) “Because you said, ‘These two nations and these two lands will become mine, and we will take possession of both,’ even though Jehovah himself was there,  ‘therefore as surely as I am alive,’ declares the Sovereign Lord Jehovah, ‘I will deal with you according to the same anger and jealousy that you displayed in your hatred toward them; and I will make myself known among them when I judge you.  You will then have to know that I myself, Jehovah, have heard all the insolent things you spoke against the mountains of Israel when you said, “They have been laid desolate and have been given to us to devour.”  And you spoke arrogantly against me, and you multiplied your words against me. I heard it all.’

Note, Israel's enemies didn't mention Jehovah himself. They thought they were insulting Israel alone. That's not how how Jehovah took it. In His view they "spoke arrogantly" against Him. He "heard it all". It's a lesson for all of us. How other human beings, even someone as close as our spouse, view us or talk about us doesn't matter. God's view is what is important.

(2 Corinthians 10:18) " For it is not the one who recommends himself who is approved, but the one whom Jehovah recommends."

He is the one that will step in and set matters straight. So no matter how much your wife will rant against you, Jehovah sees you remaining calm, not returning evil for evil, trying to be a peacemaker. His opinion is what matters.

(Romans 5:3-5) ". . .let us rejoice while in tribulations, since we know that tribulation produces endurance;  endurance, in turn, an approved condition; the approved condition, in turn, hope,  and the hope does not lead to disappointment; . . ."

"Somedays you just can't get rid of a bomb."

Adam West (Batman)
9/19/28 - 6/10/17

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coyote

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Re: Anxious about new study topic
« Reply #5 on: August 29, 2017, 05:40:50 PM »
Levi,
I'm sure you would agree her behavior is abusive. I wonder what would happen if you set boundaries around abusive behaviors and logical consequences if those boundaries are violated?
How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.
 Wayne Dyer

The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?
Capt. Jack Sparrow

Choose not to be harmed and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed and you haven’t been. -Marcus Aurelius

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Levi10

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Re: Anxious about new study topic
« Reply #6 on: August 29, 2017, 06:48:41 PM »
142757:  Thanks for sharing those words with me.  The switch got flipped last night and she is acting mostly normal today.  I feel like knowing she has a PD is kind of a double edge sword.  When I was pointed in this direction about 3 months ago I had a feeling of relief.  Like all my questions over the years had been answered.  As the weeks and months go by, I find myself recognizing behaviors that I would have ignored prior to PD knowledge.  That hasn't been good for me, but if I reflect on the scripture that you shared, I should probably just not let it bother me. 

Coyote:  I've done quite a bit of research on emotional abuse.  I'm sure that she fits the description and I fit the description of somebody who has lived with it for years.

How would you go about setting boundaries in my case?  Would you lay out the boundary for her or just make it a personal thing, like when she does X react in a certain way?  My instinctive boundary, if you could call it that, for repetitive criticism is not responding in any way.  Example, she comes home and every sentence she speaks is something I've done wrong, the kids did wrong, I didn't do, we need to change x, y, and z......  I might respond to the first remark, not in a confrontational manor, but when it continues past 1 or 2, she will not get a response.   

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coyote

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Re: Anxious about new study topic
« Reply #7 on: August 30, 2017, 11:41:42 AM »
Levi,
It is a difficult situation for sure. Boundaries can be hard to get the hang of. We typically are not raised and socialized to be good with boundaries. You are certainly right in not responding with confrontation or JADE. Boundaries are not for her, but for you. Here is one definition of boundaries;

 the physical, emotional and mental limits we establish to protect ourselves from being manipulated, used, or violated by others. They allow us to separate who we are, and what we think and feel, from the thoughts and feelings of others.  http://www.essentiallifeskills.net/personalboundaries.html

Here is another definition from Psychcentral: Emotional boundaries distinguish separating your emotions and responsibility for them from someone else’s. It’s like an imaginary line or force field that separates you and others. Healthy boundaries prevent you from giving advice, blaming or accepting blame. They protect you from feeling guilty for someone else’s negative feelings or problems and taking others’ comments personally.    https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-are-personal-boundaries-how-do-i-get-some/

There is also a sticky on the Working On Us board here that has a good discussion on boundaries. I went through a lot of verbal and emotional abuse with my uPPDw before I learned how to set good boundaries. So my Boundary sounds something like:

"I have a core value that does not allow me to suffer abuse. Your current speech is abusive and therefore will not be allowed. If it continues I will leave...." (the conversation, room, house, fill in the blank with whatever is appropriate at the time. I have walked away from the conversation, gone to work in the yard, left to go shopping, and even left for the night depending how persistent she is on violating my boundary.)

Each of our situations are similar but different in what consequences we can impose. I am just saying this is what has worked for me. I hope this helps Levi because I know how awful it feels to live like this. Wishing you peace and strength.
How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.
 Wayne Dyer

The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?
Capt. Jack Sparrow

Choose not to be harmed and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed and you haven’t been. -Marcus Aurelius

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142757

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Re: Anxious about new study topic
« Reply #8 on: August 30, 2017, 05:09:44 PM »
142757:  Thanks for sharing those words with me.  The switch got flipped last night and she is acting mostly normal today.  I feel like knowing she has a PD is kind of a double edge sword.  When I was pointed in this direction about 3 months ago I had a feeling of relief.  Like all my questions over the years had been answered.  As the weeks and months go by, I find myself recognizing behaviors that I would have ignored prior to PD knowledge.  That hasn't been good for me, but if I reflect on the scripture that you shared, I should probably just not let it bother me. 

Just want to emphasize......I'm not saying you aren't going to be affected still by what she says. Just that you can lessen the affect. Mark 3:1-6 is a good example we can take from Jesus.

"Once again he entered into a synagogue, and a man with a withered hand was there.  So they were watching him closely to see whether he would cure the man on the Sabbath, in order to accuse him.  He said to the man with the withered hand: “Get up and come to the center.”  Next he said to them: “Is it lawful on the Sabbath to do good or to do harm, to save a life or to kill?” But they kept silent.  After looking around at them with indignation, being thoroughly grieved at the insensibility of their hearts, he said to the man: “Stretch out your hand.” And he stretched it out, and his hand was restored.  At that the Pharisees went out and immediately began holding council with the party followers of Herod against him, in order to kill him."

Nobody was more secure about his place w/God than Jesus. He knew the religious leaders back then were wrong. He knew ahead of time what they were going to do. Yet, he still became "thoroughly grieved" at their behavior. He was rightfully indignant. But also notice that he didn't let it prevent him from doing what was best. In fact, he made sure they saw he was going to do what was right by moving to the center of the synagogue.

Follow that example. You know your wife is going to hurl traps ahead of time. False accusations are going to come. But know that she is in the wrong. Know that the problem is hers, not yours. Don't let any potential complaining keep you from doing what is best.


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How would you go about setting boundaries in my case?  Would you lay out the boundary for her or just make it a personal thing, like when she does X react in a certain way?  My instinctive boundary, if you could call it that, for repetitive criticism is not responding in any way.  Example, she comes home and every sentence she speaks is something I've done wrong, the kids did wrong, I didn't do, we need to change x, y, and z......  I might respond to the first remark, not in a confrontational manor, but when it continues past 1 or 2, she will not get a response.

Two things.......When it comes to boundaries, keep in mind you don't make them in order to force her to stop doing what she's doing. If you could change her behavior, you would have done it by now. Borders are for you, namely, what you will allow yourself to endure. And a plan of action for yourself when someone tries to cross your threshold. If any changes on her end come because of your strictly enforcing those boundaries that is a bonus. Not the expectation. But the hope.

The other thing......PD's don't like boundaries. They will push harder and harder to cross them. Many times they will accuse you of changing, manipulation, not caring etc. Because they are no longer getting the "supply" they are accustomed to. But boundaries are ineffective if you don't "defend" them. Be firm. Withstand the initial onslaught. Best boundary I can think of is Proverbs 17:14. Take your leave. Go into another room. Go for a walk. Take a drive. Read the paper. Just let her burn herself out. When she sees she no longer can get a reaction from you, her survival instincts will force a change, hopefully for the better.
"Somedays you just can't get rid of a bomb."

Adam West (Batman)
9/19/28 - 6/10/17

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Levi10

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Re: Anxious about new study topic
« Reply #9 on: September 07, 2017, 10:17:24 PM »
Well I've been meaning to post an update on our first "real" discussion on the book last weekend.

I took some advice and went into the class thinking that I could learn something to work on myself.  PDw was having a good day that day so that helped too.

It's almost something I should post in my thread about when God speaks.  I just felt like what the author was talking about was meant for me. Also I feel like it needs to be shared here because there are so many in the same situation.

They were having a discussion about marriage and the bad times. The author was speaking about when one individual in the marriage was not getting the love that they needed from the other. How a human craves love, it's a natural instinct.  He went on to describe how many marriages end due to one partner seeking out love elsewhere due to the lack of in the marriage.  He said the advantage believers have is the knowledge that God loves us no matter what and His love is the ultimate love.

I really caught the descuion about lacking the feeling of love in the marriage, but didn't really get much comfort out of the God loves you unconditionally part at first.  Later on I couldn't forget those words.  Every night since the thought has been in my head that God loves me.  I'm in a really "cold" patch with PDw right now.  Even when she is happy, she has said some things recently that really hurt. I can let it go and I'm not angry, but right or wrong I adapt to my surroundings.  The things she has said have caused me to go into a "leave her alone" mode.  So even when she isn't hammering me with criticism I really am having hard time kissing her butt to get some affection out of her.  The knowledge that there is always love for me in God has really gave me some comfort and I hope someone else out there can get some too.

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FiveForFighting

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Re: Anxious about new study topic
« Reply #10 on: September 19, 2017, 12:12:32 PM »
Levi.... as I was reading, I feel as if your wife and my wife are twins.  :bigwink: To begin, I am kind of surprised that you were able to get your wife to attend a group session. My wife deals with avoidant personality disorder as well and she does not do public things, group sessions, have people over or go to peoples homes for any reason. The fact that she attended with you is a positive thing. My wife did buy a marriage workbook and book and we began to work on things together but as soon as we got into the first chapter, i was beginning to think that there are several topics that speak directly to some of her actions, inaction and attitude..... a  week later she came to me and told me that she gave the books to another couple so they could work on things. So, she didnt have to address or confront any of her issues. She is always sending me articles on how I need to treat her, things I am doing wrong, things I need to change. 2 or 3 times a week she'll sned me articles on how I need to treat her. We will attend service and she will immediately ask "what did you think of service"... implying that I needed to hear the message and that the message was just for me and I need to apply it to my life. She will hear a message at church and immediately being picking the people that it applies to. "Wow... Susie (her sister) really needed to be here at church today to hear that." Our kids see all most of this behavior as well and its not good.

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142757

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Re: Anxious about new study topic
« Reply #11 on: September 19, 2017, 01:01:37 PM »
Thinking like that always amazes me Five. I would listen to my ex apply something to someone else all the time. And I'm like, "Have you ever mentally looked into a mirror?". I don't get how a person can be so into application of the Bible into daily life & not ever think they need that info personally. I've got another friend who is the same way. Blames everyone. Seriously. His STBx, his parents, his in laws, congregation elders in multiple cities, social services. Everyone he comes across. He can't ever admit to anything personally. That type of blindness is astounding.
"Somedays you just can't get rid of a bomb."

Adam West (Batman)
9/19/28 - 6/10/17

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FiveForFighting

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Re: Anxious about new study topic
« Reply #12 on: September 19, 2017, 01:31:38 PM »
142757.... you are so absolutely right. The mirror concept is spot on. It is astounding.

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Levi10

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Re: Anxious about new study topic
« Reply #13 on: September 21, 2017, 10:34:08 PM »
Hi Five,

They do sound like twins. My wife does the same things. Sending me articles from her social media, applying messages to others, and that's why I was so anxious about starting this study.  I figured that every possible negative that she could pick out and stick on me would be a weekly trigger for her. And trust me, when the trigger goes off it takes way more than a week for the smoke to clear so to speak.

Fortunately so far it hasn't been too bad. It's funny though, like both of you said, if they would take any of this stuff and look at their own behavior it would be beneficial. I really don't think that they have the capacity to see their own faults though. At least in my wife's case.  She can take a point and say to me after class, wow that other couple should listen to that, or wow you should start doing that. All the while I'm thinking holy crap why don't you start doing that!!! 

On another note, I didn't get her to go to this. It's our normal study group that we always attend. We just finished with our previous study and started this book. So I didn't convince her to go to something new.

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Cascade

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Re: Anxious about new study topic
« Reply #14 on: September 22, 2017, 01:09:18 AM »
I attend a small church study group with my husband too. I'm glad we've never had to study something so potentially difficult and personal. Maybe you could talk to the leader privately about some of your concerns, and in that way maybe he will ask you the less personal questions, but only if you trust that person to keep things private, of course. I hope your study goes okay. 

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findingmywaybacktome

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Re: Anxious about new study topic
« Reply #15 on: September 28, 2017, 02:43:25 PM »
Hello Levi10,

I have been in a similar situation.
I didn't realize my husband was disordered at the time, though.)

This is a difficult situation...My heart hurts for you.

First of all, I want to encourage you with the reminder that, with God, anything is possible. I have hung on to this truth through some very dark times these past 2 years, like a lifeline.

The truth...matters. I search for it. Knowing it has helped me...and hurt me. Seeing my husband as he is (a psychopath),shattered my world, but...I needed to see it. But there has been the 'now that you know that' factor ever since I first saw it.

For the disordered, much of what they do is about control. They control us, in part, but giving us the illusion that, if we just do this thing or that thing, or act this or that way (with whatever way it is changing constantly, so we never can acvomplish it, of course), that we will have some control over their behavior - which is, of course, just another lie, we have no control over the behavior of someone else.

But we do have control over our own selves, our own actions, our own words.

This situation you are in is a difficult one.
But God is right there, with you. And nothing is too hard, or too difficult for Him. Nothing.

Is there a pastor at your church that you can talk to? I said nothing about what was going on in my marriage for so long. I thought things would get better. I didn't want people to think badly of my husband. I was putting him first, before myself, because I thought I should. And...I didn't actually see how badly he was treating me. (The study was a real eye opener there.) But, eventually, I did speak to a pastor and found support. And...

Prayers were now possible. If no one knows the truth, how can they pray for you and your wife?

It's hard to see that, by being silent, I enabled my husband to abuse me, but this, too, is the truth. I made it easier for him to damage me further.

I will be praying for you and your wife.
You are not alone.
God values you. You are important to him.
This fact, that I am important to God, is still something that I wrestle with. After all that has happened to me, I find it hard to view myself as important to anyone. I wasn't important to my parent, to my siblings, or to either of my husbands. I was used, abused, and discarded. This has been my....reality.
So...I struggle with accepting that the creator of the universe loves me.

I found myself asking, 'Why would He?' I'd been (literally) told that I wasn't 'good enough' by family, so why would He love me?
This question stood in the way so much that I did a little bible study on my own. (Highly recommend doing this.) Searching for the truth, once again.

What I found is that God loves us all. God loves your wife. And he loves you (underlined). Your needs are just as important to him as those of your wife - not 'less than'.

Keep reading...Read the bible, read books, read on the internet, read, read, read...And pray...God hears you. He sees you! You are not alone.

Em





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PinkDress

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Re: Anxious about new study topic
« Reply #16 on: October 02, 2017, 03:03:46 AM »
Wanted to quickly chime in after catching up on the new comments here!

I agree with Em and like the idea of bringing light to the darkness. Don't be afraid to speak personally to your pastor about the stuff with your W. I too spent the first couple years of marriage believing my duty of respecting my H topped everything else. I never told a soul that he was essentially neglecting me as his wife and excessively gaming. I was trying desperately to establish the beginning of our marriage when he had no desire. We had only been married a couple of months and never fought, but he worked and game home to video games. No sex, (rarely) or time together doing anything. After a while I reached out to friends and family and started getting that outside support which eventually prompted him to somewhat decrease his addiction.

I say all that to merely encourage everyone to TALK to people, you don't need to slander your spouse BUT you should certainly discuss abusive/neglectful behaviors with WISE, well seasoned people.
"In the long run, the sharpest weapon of all is a kind and gentle spirit." Anne Frank

"God sees people as His own treasures, so be careful how you treat them."

"No one warns you about the amount of mourning in growth."

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Levi10

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Re: Anxious about new study topic
« Reply #17 on: October 04, 2017, 06:45:08 PM »
Thanks Em and PinkDress,

You have some good advice.  I have spoke with my pastor about SOME issues that my wife has.  We live in a very rural area and that makes our church pretty small.  I'm hesitant to let him know everything because of the situation that it would put him in by knowing.  Our church group is basically our circle of friends, including the pastor.  I really feel like they are more HER friends than mine.  Not that any of them have a problem with me, but she is engaged with them out of church a lot more than I am.  I trust my pastor enough to tell him everything, but after the last time I talked to him, the next out of church gathering was kind of awkward.  Might have been all in my head too. 

I have talked to some family members who are close with us and they know everything.  Some of them are understanding, some are not, but that has made life a lot easier.  Not having to make excuses for her behavior. 

The study that we are doing has turned out to be a lot lighter than I expected.  So everything is going OK for now.

I agree 100% with Em's last statement.  Read and learn.  That has been the thing that has helped me most through all of this.  Plus reading here and posting, knowing that we are not alone.

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Cascade

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Re: Anxious about new study topic
« Reply #18 on: October 05, 2017, 12:28:04 AM »
I'm glad your study is going okay, Levi. I think our study starts next week and I don't remember the topic but I don't think it was too personal. 

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Levi10

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Re: Anxious about new study topic
« Reply #19 on: October 05, 2017, 06:00:24 PM »
Thanks Cascade.  I hope all goes well with yours too.