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« on: September 07, 2017, 04:21:50 PM »
Hey y'all,

Aha! Moment while practicing EFT yesterday.  I have not been practicing compassion with myself, but lamenting how much more healing I have ahead.  It was a good realization and I am sharing because maybe it will speak to someone else.

Relatedly, a friend asked on Facebook what revelations folks had lately and when I briefly shared was berated by someone else for being selfish.  I succinctly said after a lifetime of trauma I was thankful and pleased to have the gift of self-compassion.  Before my work of the last year I would have deleted my comment and felt shame.  So, yay compassion for ourselves!

Ring the bells that still can ring;
Forget your perfect offering.
There's a crack in everything ~~
That's how the Light gets in!

~~ Leonard Cohen



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Re: Revelation
« Reply #1 on: September 07, 2017, 05:16:05 PM »
Good for you! I am also learning self-compassion. How sad that someone thought that was selfish of you.
How starved you must have been that my heart became a meal for your ego
~ Amanda Torroni



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Re: Revelation
« Reply #2 on: September 07, 2017, 05:52:08 PM »
Yes, be gentle with yourself. You deserve it, best.



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Re: Revelation
« Reply #3 on: September 08, 2017, 11:45:55 AM »
AHA!   Thanks for that. Just what I needed to "hear", self compassion. I can also get caught up in thinking how much work I have to do in my healing. I have a setback, like today, heavy thinking, worrying, anticipating,,, and then I feel like I fall to the bottom rung of the ladder. It is almost physically hard to have self compassion, as I really view my healing as a sprint for the finish line. I have very little patience when I have "bad" days, or catastrophize my days.  :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause:

Thank you  :wave:



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Re: Revelation
« Reply #4 on: September 08, 2017, 10:48:56 PM »
Thank you  :) I have had a few of these "Am I there yet?" moments lately, so I'll take your wisdom to heart.
If Im not towards myself, who is towards myself? And when Im only towards myself, what am I? And if not now, when? (Rabbi Hillel)

"I can forgive, but I cannot afford to forget." (Moglow)



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Re: Revelation
« Reply #5 on: September 15, 2017, 03:16:27 PM »
Thank you for the reminder to have self-compassion :)
I needed it!
I've been having feelings of grief well up again lately as I get near the two year anniversary of when I left, entering the shelter. And your post has made me see that, instead of being kind to myself, I've been asking myself things like, "When will this be over? It's been 2 years!", with this accompanying feeling that I 'should' be doing better, more, etc., at this point.
So, thank you :)
Now I'll tell myself true things that are kind.
It has been 2 years.
But this is ok.
The abuse was...horrific.
It takes time to heal.
But I am healing.
(I don't know if it might help anyone else, but I would like to share something that has helped me be kinder to myself -re recovery time. I once described how I felt as having been run over by a truck, crushed, and left for dead. Later on, when thinking about recovery time, I thought of this and made a connection...It would take a long time for someone who had been physically run over by a truck to heal. And, even so, they might still have pain related to their injuries for some time afterwards. They might still struggle with different things, etc. And, it made sense to me that it might be the same with psychological abuse, as well. It's true that I need to keep doing all I can to help myself heal. But there is a time factor involved, too. Healing just takes time.)