6 1/2 years of hell

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twiceizenuf

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6 1/2 years of hell
« on: September 29, 2017, 04:15:30 PM »
met on match and she sought me out because i had "vulnerable and a big heart" stamped on my forehead. Looking back it was all based on lies, nothing added up. spent all night talking on the phone for the first 4 days then met for dinner.  slept with me on the first date and moved in to my house 2 days later.  Was my soulmate and everything I enjoyed or liked so did she.  Love bombed me to death, texts every few minutes at work,  couldn't get any sleep or work done.  She didn't work and had all day to pester me, but I was smitten.  Mask started to slip after 3 months, but I was so blind it didn't matter.  Married a year later after and she feigned suicide if I didn't marry and get joint bank account.  Knew it was wrong, but did it anyway.  had fights that started out of nothing and ended with her throwing insults at me on things I had told her in confidence and me leaving due to I couldn't take that kind of abuse.  She would always get me back or I would come back due to missing her and the sex.  This was our routine for years.  Would never say she was sorry, but would say she was sorry I felt that way.  Put me through emotional, mental, financial, sexual and separation abuse.  Left my kids, family, friends, every support system that I had.  Could not have any women on fb, actually couldn't have fb for the first 5 years.  She went on computer and deleted any pictures that she didn't want me to have, especially of my ex wife and family.  put program on computer called keylogger and got my passwords.  opened all my mail and threw anything away that was related to kids and family.  put a program called Verizon family plan on my phone and tracked my every move, text, email and phone call.   Manipulated and controlled me through any means possible.  I know now it was all lies and innuendo.  through constant pressure I had to adopt her son.  I got wise towards the end and knew the money was disappearing faster than I could make it.  I had two jobs at the end and I'm sure she will use that for spousal and child support.  I had to get away finally and now I am sure she is after me.  had to move out of state and cut off any social media ties I had.  She is a cyber stalker and I fear she will hurt anyone associated with me.  She will lie to get any result she needs.  God, I feel so stupid and taken.  I got to the point the other day that I felt I just couldn't go on and take the pain anymore.  I have cried for months now and not sure if the pain will ever subside.  Luckily I have friends and family that are very supportive.  I am going to therapy and a counselor.  Hopefully it will get better.

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coyote

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Re: 6 1/2 years of hell
« Reply #1 on: September 29, 2017, 05:39:22 PM »
Welcome to OOTF.
 If your screen name has anything to do with your real name I would suggest changing it for your protection and confidentiality, especially with her cyber stalking skills. It is easy to change under your profile.

Yes we do feel stupid but the truth is you are not. Many of us here have been or are in a similar situation. It is amazing what a person with PD can put us through and even more amazing how we allow it for so long. You will find a lot of invaluable information and skills for coping in the Toolbox. You will also find a lot of support on the boards as well as learn from others' with similar experiences.

I'm sorry you went and are still going through this. It will take time but it can get much better.
How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.
 Wayne Dyer

The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?
Capt. Jack Sparrow

Choose not to be harmed and you wonít feel harmed. Donít feel harmed and you havenít been. -Marcus Aurelius

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guitarman

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Re: 6 1/2 years of hell
« Reply #2 on: September 29, 2017, 07:03:59 PM »
Welcome. You are not alone.

Best wishes

guitarman
"Do not let the behaviour of others destroy your inner peace." - Dalai Lama

"You don't have to be a part of it, you can become apart from it." - guitarman

"Be gentle with yourself, you're doing the best you can." - Anon

"If it hurts it isn't love." - Kris Godinez, counsellor and author

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twiceizenuf

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Re: 6 1/2 years of hell
« Reply #3 on: September 30, 2017, 12:52:56 AM »
ok, changed my profile name to something she would not know.  Thanks for all the advise.