Indifference to over indulgence ?

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Andromeda87

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Indifference to over indulgence ?
« on: November 11, 2017, 02:50:27 PM »
Does anyone else's PD parents kind of cycle through indifference/neglect to over indulgence / over compensation?

I've been reading the literature but not able to quite find this pattern.

I live about an hour away from my parents. Sometimes they go weeks or months without even acknowledging me or my son, unless it's to update me on plans they have decided on my behalf. They never acknowledge my husband but that's a different story.

Then suddenly for a couple of days they want to come over, spend time with my son. They bring tons of unwanted "gifts". Talk about themselves at great length not caring at all about me and my life. Shower my son with unwanted attention, literally to the point where he's scrambling to get away. or they will completely randomly post some way too loving post on fb about how proud they are of me and how much they love my son... literally out of nowhere after ignoring my family for weeks on end.

Anyway is this typical PD behaviour? And why does it happen? Does anyone else experience it with their parents?

I would love and appreciate any input!
Thank you


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TalenCrowhaven

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Re: Indifference to over indulgence ?
« Reply #1 on: November 11, 2017, 03:21:38 PM »
Yes. I've experienced this.

One reason they do this is because they view their children and grandchildren as playthings. Objects they can take out of the box and play with when they feel like it. When they're done, it's back to the box you go. They like to go over the top and are digging for a reaction. My parents used to do this big time at Christmas. The reaction they were after was to see others acting greedy and excited. They loved all the ohs and ahs and profuse than-you's. It never felt you were thanking them enough. And when the night was over, after all the presents were loaded into our cars for the long trip home and back to our hectic lives, NMom's parting words were "Oh sure. Grab, rip, and run!" (Translation:  "...you ungrateful spoiled brats...").

Another reason they do these over-the-top family pit-stops is for their image and photo ops. This is so if anyone asks about their kids or grandkids they can tell the tale of what wonderful, giving people they are with pictures to prove it. Those photos are their pretend-to-be happy family.

Feeding off of other people's emotions/reactions and maintaining their false image are very important to them.

« Last Edit: November 11, 2017, 03:26:00 PM by TalenCrowhaven »