Handling risk of toxic rumours from OCPD

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Wilderhearts

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Handling risk of toxic rumours from OCPD
« on: October 28, 2017, 07:18:20 PM »
I lived with a uOCPD roommate for a year and a half, and moved out after what one OOF user described as "The Big PD Explosion of Abuse."  I had two other roommates from that house.  One was a clinical psychologist (we'll call her B) who told me she thinks uOCPD is OCPD - that's how I came to learn about the term.  I haven't discussed the explosion with the other roommate (G) or the landlords, but I'm wondering if  my PD roommate said something.  I know she contacted G about me moving out and delegated finding a replacement to G.  I didn't want G to feel put in the middle of our tensions so I never explained anything to her - but she said she's just happy I found somewhere I'll be safe.  The landlords also asked me "oh, is everything alright?" when I told them I was moving in ten days.  I lied and didn't get into it. There was something they said in later conversations that let me know uOCPD had been in contact with them around me leaving.  B & G and I are all still friends - and they've also both moved out of the cursed PD house.  G and I still haven't talked about it.  I've had some nice chats with the landlords when I was wrapping up the move-out, but I'm also concerned that they believe whatever delusions uOCPD has told them.  Does anyone have any similar experiences, and would it make me seem like the crazy one if I brought it up?  I think I'm fearful that they'll blame me for the conflict, the way uOCPD told me our troubles were my fault, even though G has also recognized uOCPDr's controlling and manipulative behaviour for what it is.

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VividImagination

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Re: Handling risk of toxic rumours from OCPD
« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2017, 11:38:24 AM »
Unless these people have some influence on your professional or personal life, I'd let it go and move on. You can't control what is said about you.
There are three solutions to every problem: accept it, change it, or leave it. If you cannot accept it, change it. I f you cannot change it, leave it.

Sometimes you're damned if you don't and damned if you do, so damn well do what's best for you.

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Wilderhearts

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Re: Handling risk of toxic rumours from OCPD
« Reply #2 on: October 31, 2017, 08:48:33 PM »
Like I said, G is a friend.  Not a friend I'm super comfortable having uncomfortable conversations with, but a friend I respect and admire.  Also, landlord references count for a lot in this city.

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NotFooled

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Re: Handling risk of toxic rumours from OCPD
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2017, 03:29:33 PM »
I have an OCPDMIL that talks badly behind my back.  One Christmas DH and I bought her a nice gift (it was what she asked for)  After Christmas she called my mother and complained that we spend to much money and she wanted to return the gift.  Another time she called DH's aunt and told her our new house was a money pit.  I know she complains to DH about my DD and I not attending church. 

I use to get really hurt and angry over her overly critical toxic behavior but now I just don't care.  She's seriously mentally ill and lives in her own controlling/perfectionist hell.  She's been in and out of mental hospitals since she was in her 30's and the staff at the ASLF can't stand her.  We get complaints all the time from the doctor, nurses and staff about her annoying behavior.

I would ignore your PD roommate and move forward with your life. The landlords will get tired of her crap too, because OCPD can't help but be annoying to others.

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Wish Camp

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Re: Handling risk of toxic rumours from OCPD
« Reply #4 on: November 02, 2017, 08:52:12 AM »
When it comes to people gossiping, my thoughts are this: if they are talking about me that means at the moment they aren't talking about someone else. And, that's a good thing. I will take it.

If the people she is possibly talking to are impartial they will weigh both sides. My thinking is people will see she is unstable.

Relax, take care of yourself and carry on.

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Wilderhearts

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Re: Handling risk of toxic rumours from OCPD
« Reply #5 on: November 05, 2017, 09:47:25 PM »
That's a good reality check that other people likely see through her "false self" of perfection and will eventually be negatively impacted by her too, even if not to the same extent I was. I think she's exceptionally high functioning for how incredibly mentally ill she is, so she really keeps up good appearances.  Because of the mind games she plays, I really felt like I was isolated in my experience and no one would ever understand just how horribly she can, and has, behaved. 

I think G and our landlords are such nice people they would never outright say they know she's unstable and unwell, and they might tolerate her BS to not make waves, but that doesn't mean they're being fooled. 

Thanks you two.

Quote from: Wish Camp
link=topic=69421.msg612087#msg612087 date=1509619932

My thinking is people will see she is unstable.

 
I use to get really hurt and angry over her overly critical toxic behavior but now I just don't care.  She's seriously mentally ill and lives in her own controlling/perfectionist hell....... We get complaints all the time from the doctor, nurses and staff about her annoying behavior.

I would ignore your PD roommate and move forward with your life. The landlords will get tired of her crap too, because OCPD can't help but be annoying to others.