when you feel dead/numb inside

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TalenCrowhaven

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Re: when you feel dead/numb inside
« Reply #20 on: November 06, 2017, 11:28:39 AM »
A4P,

 :bighug:

I think the healing process is more difficult when we are still in contact with our PD parents. I'm still in contact with uPD Dad since my uPD Mom's death a few years ago. This last year dealing with him and the two sib Flying Monkeys has also been a rollercoaster. Lots of painful realizations about what a walking lie my family was/is. The few good times memories have now been tainted beyond repair.

As long as I'm in contact with these people, there will be triggering moments. I'm still healing. I have plenty of fleas which need to be addressed. And, who knows what might come out in therapy with someone I trust? Would it help or just leave me emotionally drained again? The tears disappeared several years ago. The anger has been replaced with apathy. Now, I pretty much study them like bugs whenever there is contact.

I hold out no hope for change. Eventually, NC with the toxics is my goal.