My therapist taught me that when we bring another human being onto the planet there are 3 things that determine their course in life: 1. - is their biological/genetic make up (each parent contributes 1/2 genetically 2.- the environment in which they are raised inside and outside of the womb (nutrition, parenting, schooling, political/social/cultural economic influences, stress and exposure to toxins, etc...) and 3. their own unique and individual soul path
As I have thought of each category -- even environmental, the influences are many and over time. In the maternal womb alone --over the course of 9 months the fetus is exposed to maternal fluctuations in blood pressure, oxygenation content, hormones, nutrition, toxins in the environment, stress --- and any one of those influences during a critical time of brain development can affect the health of the fetus.
Beyond that -- all we can do is our best--- accept accountability when needed, make amends, change what can be improved and recognize what's beyond our control. PD's of course often can't accept accountability (that's my daughter). So -- I have let that go too. I don't expect that she can or will accept personal accountability. Sometimes I do have hope --- but so far, there has been no evidence that she can.
Not sure that helps ... that's been how my family has navigated PD's.
M