Restraining Order

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Restraining Order
« on: December 17, 2017, 11:29:10 AM »
My idea from the other end of an abusive relationship (my ex óif it can be called that, there was only sex and mild dating involved, called the cops on me. my reactions to her passive aggressive controlling attitude limited the amount of times that I could take showers at our apartment. we had moved into an apartment as platonic roommates and stayed so) is that the restraining order she has placed on me is hurtful. I can see why your ex is making a fuss about the terms of the order and not breaking clean from the situation since there are children involved in your prior relationship. It seems like Iím always having to defend a narrative that I intended no harm, whether it is to therapists, family or the few friends that I have. I removed all of my possessions yesterday. It is not new territory for me. Iíve never been close to anyone, never been in a relationship that lasted, but have lost good friends in the past over disputes. Not honoring my boundaries is what landed her here, and it means financial hardship for her until she finds a new roommate, and for me until I find a new job (the temp job that I met her at is inaccessible due to the order, but itís not a hard limit, because I could potentially go back to the job and work in a different department. Anyway Iím looking for other opportunities that pay more). now that I have my possessions it feels like one more dance I have to do to get everything organized at my parents house.

There is nothing I have to add at this point. I want it to be over. I want to find a new apartment. I want a job and a house to come home to. My normal household activities are very limited under the watch of my parents. However, they were limited just as much while living with her. I couldnít take a shower during the weekends without navigating through the apartment to find evidence that she had locked the door to the bathroom. I couldnít get a boundary across to her saying that advance notification for visitors is just as important to me as the actions taken when the visitor decides to stay over until 1pm on a Saturday and Sunday. Itís all an affair when I bring it up. The last month is a sequence of events that could have been avoided with an agreement, but the evidence is in her favor because I put a sticky note against her shoulder. She called the cops, moved my possessions without telling me and forced a restraining order through the courts. This is in Pennsylvania where they are secured by what has to be double what other states grant.

Iím just saying, really nothing, but try to stay as on topic as possible in those emails. Even noting something about his other plans besides seeing kids and amending the lease can be seen as straying from the order.