the lateness of the hour, or my PD parents' dream

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the lateness of the hour, or my PD parents' dream
« on: February 13, 2018, 09:42:39 PM »
A few days ago I read in one of the sites from Stack exchange about a daughter who was trapped by their parents. I thought I was reading myself. Her parents didn't allow her to go to any place, or have friends. They were extremely controlling. She wanted to know what to say to them, for at her 15 she was desperate. I remember all the times I cried and begged. I even once wrote a letter that my uNPD F carried in his wallet until I found it again and destroyed. It seemed so cruel to carry around such a painful piece of me, and not do anything. I guess at the time I felt everything was my uBPD M's fault. It has taken me 41 years just guess he has always agreed with her. Of course, nothing I did had the slightest effect.

I have been watching the old Twilight zone tv serie. I am supposed to distract myself (which I don't really understand, when will I process the stuff if I don't think about it?). I just watched an episode, The Lateness of the Hour, which is so obviously the dream of my parents. Not only full control of me, but the ability to destroy me. I guess, given how old the series is, that it's not going to be a spoiler if I say that the end shows clearly how everything the daughter was told about how much they loved her, was a lie. They didn't 'reset' her to a happy time. They deleted her and made her a service tool. All my life I've been just like the daughter in the episode: a thing they made to comfort themselves. And all the struggle, all the abuse, has been because they could not delete my memory, my mind, and keep me trapped at home soothing them and doing their house chores. If only I could find the way out of this nightmare.

If you have 29 minutes to spare, you can watch it here It is also available in amazon prime and the CBS website.


Cactus Flower

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Re: the lateness of the hour, or my PD parents' dream
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2018, 12:59:09 PM »
Yikes!   :bighug: hugs to you and all of us other young people whose dreams and voices were seen merely as a threat to their parents.  May we find a way to recreate ourselves authentically and scrounge
together some peace and joy. 
    I hope we can paradoxically be a source of true love and acceptance for others, since we know what it is like to live without those precious things.