Any Jehovah's Witnesses here? Part II

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142757

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Any Jehovah's Witnesses here? Part II
« on: February 26, 2018, 12:02:47 PM »
Thought I'd make an updated thread in case there are any looking for support from someone who shares the same faith. I'm not here to give advice. Just support.

Baptized July 16, 1988.
« Last Edit: March 02, 2018, 02:35:38 PM by xredshoesx »
"Somedays you just can't get rid of a bomb."

Adam West (Batman)
9/19/28 - 6/10/17

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xredshoesx

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Re: Any Jehovah's Witnesses here? Part II
« Reply #1 on: March 02, 2018, 02:39:30 PM »
a secondary thread with additional discussion for this topic

http://www.outofthefog.net/forum/index.php?topic=28171.0

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greenscapegoat

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Re: Any Jehovah's Witnesses here? Part II
« Reply #2 on: May 01, 2018, 06:16:37 AM »
Baptized QAH in 1989.

I am the only JW in my family.

My uNF just passed. My wonderful husband encouraged me to help my elderly mom with his care as his chronic illness worsened, despite a lot of inconvenience and cost to us. We were trying to “win” her “without a word.”

Instead she turns on me, triangulates thru my sibs that she suspects us of stealing from her. Stealing!

We’re exhausted and burned out. I cant sleep. Are we really “free from accusation”?

I joined this forum and educated myself. Okay, this is flying monkeys. I get it.

Mom is uOCPD. Her issues have been covert thus far.

However her scapegoating me is becoming way more overt. Her preference is obvious for the GC (not a terrible person. But he did just buy a second home with the extra funds she has provided while we drive a rust bucket).

It seems unchristian to go NC or vvvLC but she is so toxic.

What is surreal is that I am grieving both parents at once. One bec he died and the other bec her love was ultimately only selfish and conditional. I’m just figuring it out after over half a century.

Indeed Jesus’ words from Matthew 10 are true:

“35 For I came to cause division, with a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36 Indeed, a man’s enemies will be those of his own household. 37 Whoever has greater affection for father or mother than for me is not worthy of me; and whoever has greater affection for son or daughter than for me is not worthy of me.”

Thanks in advance.

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142757

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Re: Any Jehovah's Witnesses here? Part II
« Reply #3 on: May 02, 2018, 01:19:38 AM »
Baptized QAH in 1989.

I am the only JW in my family.

My uNF just passed. My wonderful husband encouraged me to help my elderly mom with his care as his chronic illness worsened, despite a lot of inconvenience and cost to us. We were trying to “win” her “without a word.”

Instead she turns on me, triangulates thru my sibs that she suspects us of stealing from her. Stealing!

We’re exhausted and burned out. I cant sleep. Are we really “free from accusation”?

I joined this forum and educated myself. Okay, this is flying monkeys. I get it.

Mom is uOCPD. Her issues have been covert thus far.

However her scapegoating me is becoming way more overt. Her preference is obvious for the GC (not a terrible person. But he did just buy a second home with the extra funds she has provided while we drive a rust bucket).

It seems unchristian to go NC or vvvLC but she is so toxic.

What is surreal is that I am grieving both parents at once. One bec he died and the other bec her love was ultimately only selfish and conditional. I’m just figuring it out after over half a century.

Indeed Jesus’ words from Matthew 10 are true:

“35 For I came to cause division, with a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36 Indeed, a man’s enemies will be those of his own household. 37 Whoever has greater affection for father or mother than for me is not worthy of me; and whoever has greater affection for son or daughter than for me is not worthy of me.”

Thanks in advance.
Nice to meet you, albeit, under very trying circumstances.  My condolences about the death of your dad.

I think 1 Pet has some good thoughts to remember when dealing w/PD loved ones.

2:19 - 23 For it is agreeable when someone endures hardship and suffers unjustly because of conscience toward God. For what merit is there if you are beaten for sinning and you endure it? But if you endure suffering because of doing good, this is an agreeable thing to God. In fact, to this course you were called, because even Christ suffered for you, leaving a model for you to follow his steps closely.  He committed no sin, nor was deception found in his mouth. When he was being insulted, he did not insult in return. When he was suffering, he did not threaten, but he entrusted himself to the One who judges righteously.

3:13,14 Indeed, who will harm you if you become zealous for what is good?  But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are happy.

3:17 For it is better to suffer because you are doing good, if it is God’s will to allow it, than because you are doing evil.

4:16 But if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not feel ashamed, but let him keep on glorifying God while bearing this name.

5:6-10 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you in due time, while you throw all your anxiety on him,l because he cares for you.  Keep your senses, be watchful! Your adversary, the Devil, walks about like a roaring lion, seeking to devour someone.  But take your stand against him, firm in the faith, knowing that the same kind of sufferings are being experienced by the entire association of your brothers in the world.  But after you have suffered a little while, the God of all undeserved kindness, who called you to his everlasting glory in union with Christ, will himself finish your training. He will make you firm, he will make you strong, he will firmly ground you.



What makes PD's so insidious is that those with it most often manifest their symptoms in private towards their loved ones. So no one knows what we are going thru and thus support us. These scriptures let us know Jehovah is aware. And more importantly, knows you are putting up with so much because you are seeking to please Him. So He is going to give you what you need to endure, to keep joyful, and remain happy.
"Somedays you just can't get rid of a bomb."

Adam West (Batman)
9/19/28 - 6/10/17

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greenscapegoat

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Re: Any Jehovah's Witnesses here? Part II
« Reply #4 on: May 15, 2018, 10:29:35 AM »
Thanks so much for your kind response! Sorry for my delay.

I do need to forgive her. Not only because Jehovah directs that in the pages of his word the Bible, but  because she can’t help it; she is mentally ill. (And I will feel better certainly, letting it go.)

I’m coming to terms with the fact that my later childhood was full of covert emotional abuse. I now realize that my parents didn’t love me after I was about 11 years old. More definitively after I became one of Jehovah’s people (which was to be expected. My NF had an overt cow.)

I need to let go of my resentment. I’m finding it hard. I’m still being punished by my PD parents (well, now just one) and I’m in my 50s.

I need to able to forgive, not necessarily excusing what happened, but not be consumed with anger. I know that when I can leave the matter in the hands of Jehovah the God of justice, I will experience relief and be able to move on.

I wish I was there... but I’m not... yet...

More prayer.

And convention is coming.

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20yrsofcrazy

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Re: Any Jehovah's Witnesses here? Part II
« Reply #5 on: July 04, 2018, 08:57:30 PM »
greenscapegoat and 142757

I am a JW.  I am thankful to have found this site but esp this thread.  You can read more of my history if you wish.  The short story is I am married almost 22 years now to a NPD/BPD man(boy).

It's been a tough marriage with much abuse, verbal, physical, sexual.  I came OOTF about 2 years ago. 

I am sorry that anybody has to endure a relationship of any kind with a PD.  It is truly soul crushing.  Jah gives me strength but I struggle with whether the struggle is damaging my children more than if I would separate from him.  Such a hard decision.  The elders were kind when i met with them 2 years ago and poured most of my story (hard to admit you've been sexually abused by your husband and describe that to 1 elder who has known me since birth and another who was new to cong).  Anyway, separation was completely within my rights according to them and they encouraged me to throw my anxiety on Jah, which I do repeatedly as I have panic attacks from time to time.

Anyway, just wanted to say hi.  Our convention is this coming weekend & I am so looking forward to the program...not the actual trip with my usually demanding/ irritated husband.