What are the odds?

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Cascade

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What are the odds?
« on: March 16, 2018, 06:33:55 PM »
I started volunteering a few months ago and while I really enjoy it, the person in charge of the department that I volunteer in has been giving off PD vibes. One of the reasons why I chose this volunteer position was because it gave me an escape from my PDhusband. I mean, what are the odds?  :stars:

The worst trait I've seen so far is the lying, but there are so many little things she does. I'm trusting my gut instincts on this and have been trying to avoid her as best as I can, without it looking obvious. While she is very nice to me to in person, I sense she doesn't like me very much anymore because I have asked a few questions about the questionable things she does.

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Adria

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Re: What are the odds?
« Reply #1 on: March 16, 2018, 06:49:24 PM »
IMHO I think the odds are quite good.  I've come across this more times while volunteering than anywhere else.  I don't know what it is, but it seems like a thing. 

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HeadAboveWater

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Re: What are the odds?
« Reply #2 on: March 16, 2018, 08:10:25 PM »
I'm sorry. It's disappointing to try something new and not have it work out the way we had hoped. If you're getting vibes that something isn't right, trust your gut. It might be PD; it might be something else. Whatever the reason, you're observing things that are letting you know that you can't have full trust in the department head. For me, repeated lying is a major red flag.

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newlife33

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Re: What are the odds?
« Reply #3 on: March 19, 2018, 04:41:51 PM »
Good on you tho for being able to see it and be aware!  I found that there was a process in terms of building boundaries and healthy attractions.  The stage you may be in that I can sort of relate to is the stage of shock and fear upon seeing and meeting narcs.  This is a rough stage because the narcs still can sort of "sniff" out our past relations and sometimes will try to get us into their influence.  This may be good practice for a short time being around a narc and ignoring them, or it may be best to try somewhere else.  I found that as I got stronger and more aware and social that instead of being shocked or even noticing PD people I didn't even "see" them, I only saw healthy people.  And when a PD person did try to get in or was in my area it was very easy to sort of "bounce" them away via body language, ignoring tactics or simply moving away. 

Whatever you decide to do, congrats on breaking the cycle of abuse and growing stronger!

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Cascade

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Re: What are the odds?
« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2018, 06:15:56 PM »
Thanks for the encouragement! Sometimes a person just needs to get things off their chest. No one understands PD behaviour like the people here.