Not all is lost. But most is.

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Charliesgirl

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Not all is lost. But most is.
« on: March 17, 2018, 08:25:41 PM »
Hi, exuse the dramatic title.
Thats kind of the feeling, after two horrible weeks after i broke the contact with my parents, my bipolar mother and my stephfather, both very good and sweet people, mind the bipolar and somethimes (often) egoļstic behaviour of my mother.
Which is the trouble, there is another bipolair, narcistic and self-and everything else- destructive "big sister" who is dealing with alcoholic problems.
She has to kids (so sad) and has m manage to set herself free out of a violence marriage 2 years ago. For a periode of 5 years whe (the family; parents and my two brothers) tried everything to get her and her two kids out of the violence, but she was very stubbern. There was another alcoholist guy so she set herself free to be with him. Yup and her family, whatever, dont care just move on like nothing happend. And believe me shit happend. My sister has 4 nephews and nieces, she doesnt know them, or making an effort to get to know them.
But you know everything is our fault, and no not just us but mostly me. Because i had good contact with my parents, like 3 times a week, she was jealous of it. No not always good contact i think it was a bad kind of loyalty towards my bipolair mother, always hearing the problemsxaroind my sister.
But now times are changing my sister is there 3 times a week, and me, and my brothers, whe stay away.
Believe me i tried but the toxic, energydraining way i felt around my sister, no can do anymore!
Realy she makes me sick with her manipulates games, always the victim.
She steals alcohol and painkillers from my mother, but gets away with everything. My parents don't have the boundaries, and i get it really, but what i don't get is they let her destroy everything. It hurts. The anger the frustration, eats me alive. Can't take this no more so i set myself free. Its the only thing i can do. Take care of myself. But its so sad i miss my parents.
This is as long written but this is the short version. It was a very very bad movie, the things she did, to all of us, were horrible. Don't get it. You know what, the only thing i want is to talk about those years and move on. Just greet each other when we meet by my mother. But no can do because she is i think "not so though"
She desides everything, and for a long time, my feeling.
Well, not anymore. But i lost my mother and it hurts. Real bad

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Latchkey

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Re: Not all is lost. But most is.
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2018, 03:18:57 AM »
Hi Charliesgirl and welcome to OOTF,

It sounds like you have a lot of things going on and maybe a break for a bit is best while you sort things out. Taking a break, possibly seeing a therapist or counselor to help you deal with the anger you are feeling. Learning how to set boundaries and working on preserving r/s with your other family members will be key going forward.

Please check out our Dealing with PD siblings board and also look at our Toolbox for more ways to navigate things with your family.

We are here for you.

Latchkey
Pray for the dead and fight like hell for the living.
-Mother Jones
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There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.
-Maya Angelou
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When we have the courage to do what we need to do, we unleash mighty forces that come to our aid.