"I Can Only Imagine" movie

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Memyself

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"I Can Only Imagine" movie
« on: March 22, 2018, 11:04:43 PM »
Anyone else NOT going to see this?
I feel like I'm the only Christian on the planet NOT stoked about this movie.

I will not be seeing it, as it looks like the typical forgive at all cost to yourself or boundaries crap that has held me captive for years as well as the hope that someday, my abusers will wake up and get it and repent. ::) Not gonna happen. I forgave them, but I can't keep the relationship going in the hope that someday the abuse will just stop.

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LightOrb

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Re: "I Can Only Imagine" movie
« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2018, 11:23:55 PM »
Not a Christian here, but the story has a very important point: the father is dead. I am not mocking them, not at all. But it's another animal to forgive them when you know they can't abuse, or in my case ignore, you anymore.

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Memyself

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Re: "I Can Only Imagine" movie
« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2018, 03:34:28 PM »
Boy! You aren't kidding! The forgiving is so much easier once the abuser is gone.  That is why I had to go NC...easier to remain forgiving.

Here is a brief synopses and the part that makes me NOT wish to see it. "Millard returns home, and is greeted enthusiastically by his father the next morning. Unbeknownst to Bart, Arthur had become a Christian and begun trying to change his angry and abusive ways due to his terminal diagnosis, but Bart rejects his father's overtures. The Millards reconcile once Bart discovers his father's condition, and bond over father-son activities until Arthur succumbs to cancer."

This whole movie is set up to make those that have to keep to strict boundaries as if they are unforgiving twirps...and its best to remain hopeful and allow the abusers access to them because the movie shows what can happen when we forgive!  :roll: :stars: :'(


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LightOrb

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Re: "I Can Only Imagine" movie
« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2018, 04:21:09 PM »
You know, I hadn't thought about it until you pasted that paragraph... of course his father could "change". Perhaps I am too bitter, but on one hand, the father knew the effort wasn't going to last too long. And second, he didn't want to go to hell. NONE of this is about his son. None was because he acknowledged he was behaving horribly.

Perhaps the movie is going to be used against us. I say us because my M is a practicing Catholic, and she will surely watch the movie and cry that I can't be like that forgiving son, who is SO lucky that also reconciles with the girlfriend!! However, I would like to believe that son got some good from his father. It would be so sweet if his story is true. Statistically, it can be. Just not for most of us.

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Memyself

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Re: "I Can Only Imagine" movie
« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2018, 04:41:12 PM »
You know, I hadn't thought about it until you pasted that paragraph... of course his father could "change". Perhaps I am too bitter, but on one hand, the father knew the effort wasn't going to last too long. And second, he didn't want to go to hell. NONE of this is about his son. None was because he acknowledged he was behaving horribly.

To be fair, from what I've read, the father saw how horribly one of his beatings had hurt his son and snapped out of it.  It was after that, the conversion to Christ came and the change. I think that is WONDERFUL for this man...amazing and cathartic and just all around miraculous...but...

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Perhaps the movie is going to be used against us. I say us because my M is a practicing Catholic, and she will surely watch the movie and cry that I can't be like that forgiving son, who is SO lucky that also reconciles with the girlfriend!! However, I would like to believe that son got some good from his father. It would be so sweet if his story is true. Statistically, it can be. Just not for most of us.

This.  My parents are "practicing" "believers".  (they are of the Pharasitical kind--huge hypocrites, graceless and critical, merciless even, but their image is one of holiness and purity. Is there a barf emoji here?haha)
They will definitely use this movie to smear campaign me, vilify me, make me their victimizer again and everyone will gather round them and pray for them for the sorrow of being born to them this terrible, unforgiving monster that is me.

They will never see how their scapegoating of me has almost destroyed me, AND if I ever let it...the suicide would just solidify in their minds that I was just always mentally unstable...not that THEY are the freaking monsters!!!!

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LightOrb

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Re: "I Can Only Imagine" movie
« Reply #5 on: March 23, 2018, 05:19:54 PM »
To be fair, from what I've read, the father saw how horribly one of his beatings had hurt his son and snapped out of it.  It was after that, the conversion to Christ came and the change. I think that is WONDERFUL for this man...amazing and cathartic and just all around miraculous...but...

Oh. So this guy got ... I was going to say a dream, but in truth I don't even wish my parents to change anymore. The other day I watched an episode of the Twilight Zone about a genie, and I asked myself what would be my wishes: 1) getting my divorce, 2) getting a family and 3) money to live comfortable until I die. I don't wish anymore that they change. I am very sad now that I understand what I meant. Anyway, the point is that he got the best case possible. Good for him, absolutely amazing.

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Memyself

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Re: "I Can Only Imagine" movie
« Reply #6 on: March 23, 2018, 07:36:13 PM »
yes, he got the dream---MY dream, but one I've finally let die...still, i think seeing this movie might be too much for me and will trigger me on a number of different levels, though my abuse wasn't physical.

I just no longer even want a restored relationship with them, I am happier and better without them in my life...but I know if I see this movie, it will make me second guess and question myself and I just don't want to deal with all of that again--ever.

I forgive them and I sincerely wish my FOO every blessing under Heaven, but I just don't want to have to be their scapegoat any more.  I want to be free.

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1footouttadefog

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Re: "I Can Only Imagine" movie
« Reply #7 on: March 24, 2018, 12:56:25 PM »
Forgiving past wrongs is one thing, but forgiving the one taking place and the one you know or fear will take place tomorrow, next week or later today is another.

Forgiving someone does not mean you stay and take more.

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Adria

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Re: "I Can Only Imagine" movie
« Reply #8 on: March 26, 2018, 04:22:43 PM »
I agree with you.  Dh and I went to see it.  Yes, in some ways it was triggering. I thought I would cry, but was surprised I barely shed a tear. Dh did.  I said to dh afterwards, "Great story. God did a miracle.  However, the father was left alone for the remainder of his life out in the middle of nowhere as he wife and son left.  Also, son was the only child, so in essence the father had no one left to feed his supply.

My narc family is like a pack of wolves. They all feed off eachother and support each other.  I wondered after seeing the movie if the dad would have repented if he had the back up my family does, or if my father would be different if everyone walked away from him. 

Either way, I did think it was a good story, and until my father dies will wish he would do the same as the father in the movie.  Fat chance. But God . . . still does miracles.